FATHER: “Where are the Appalachians?”
SON: “I think they’re in the refrigerator, Dad.”
Tag Archives: refrigerator
You Know You’re Getting Fat When…
Being a little overweight is okay. But you know you’re really getting fat when…
– your son plays cowboys and asks if he can use your belt as a lasso.
– your refrigerator handle wears out from overuse
– the shocks in your car wear out twice as fast as other people’s shocks.
– you sit on a metal bar stool and it becomes a metal foot stool when you get up.
– you stand in a room all alone and feel crowded.
– you have to walk through doors sideways.
– you stand on a curb and your stomach blocks traffic.
– you have to use a mirror in order to see your shoes.
– you drop money and don’t bother to bend over and pick it up unless it’s more than a quarter.
– you go for a stroll and the sidewalk creaks.
Joke #12548
With food prices and inflation sky high, I don’t know which is emptier — my wallet or my refrigerator.
Joke #11287
“My girlfriend’s name should be Refrigeratior.”
“Why?”
“She can be cold as ice.”
An Interesting Quiz
The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will reveal if you are qualified to be a “professional.” Think! And then scroll down for each answer.
The questions are NOT that difficult.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is:
Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, “Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?”
(Wrong Answer)
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference.
All the animals attend except one.
Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. Remember? This tests your memory.
OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
4. You have to cross a river inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You swim across.
All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting.
This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many preschoolers got several correct answers.
Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four year old!
Joke #9146
With four daughters and one son always dashing to school activities and part-time jobs, James’ schedule was hectic.
To add to this, he kept running out of household supplies.
James instructed his family to let him know when they used the last of any item by writing it down on a note pad on the refrigerator.
As a reminder, he wrote at the top: “IF WE ARE OUT OF IT, WRITE IT DOWN.”
When James checked the pad a few days later, he found the following message:
“MOM, YOU MAY BE A BIT OLD-FASHIONED, BUT YOU ARE NOT ‘OUT OF IT.”‘
Joke #9101
One time when I was home visiting my folks, my mom asked me to set the table for dinner. I opened the refrigerator and taped to the inside of the door was a risqué picture of a lovely, slender, perfectly built, but scantily-clad young woman.
“Mom, what’s this?” I asked.
“Oh, I put that up there to remind me not to over-eat,” she answered.
“Is it working?” I asked.
“Yes and no,” she explained. “I’ve lost 15 pounds, but your dad has gained 20!”
zizumayowong
zizumayowong – v. to smear peanut butter all over your fridge’s ice compartment.
Ex. Time to zizumayowong!!
splame
splame – v. to have sex in the fridge
PeedleWeedle
PeedleWeedle – v. to swallow a refrigerator box whole.
Ex. Oh my gosh! He just PeedleWeedled! Most people do not survive PeedleWeedling.
niasp
niasp – n. refrigerated pee
miiet
miiet – n. a hairy refrigerator
marbfo
marbfo – n. a refrigerator that has butter spread all over it with hair
loyajriga
loyajriga – n. a bowling ball in the fridge