I know a doctor who’s so cheap, every time he goes home for Christmas he charges his parents for a house call.
Tag Archives: money
Joke #13211
PATIENT: “Doctor, now that you’ve diagnosed my case, can you cure me?”
DOCTOR: “I’m afraid I can’t, sir. You see, your illness is hereditary.”
PATIENT: “Well, in that case, Doc, send the bill to my father.”
Joke #13208
You can’t win. My psychiatrist told me to speak freely. And after my monologue was over, he charged me fifty dollars.
Joke #13204
DOCTOR: “Mister Simms, I’m afraid you only have seven days to live.”
PATIENT: “Oh, no! Then I guess I won’t be able to pay you, Doctor. My medical insurance check won’t be here for two weeks.”
DOCTOR: “H-mm, well in that case, I’ll give you fourteen days to live.”
Joke #13199
My physician’s bookkeeper must be a frustrated medical man. I caught him doctoring up my bills.
Joke #13194
DOCTOR: “How is the boy who swallowed the silver dollar?”
NURSE: “No change yet.”
Joke #13192
WIFE TO BANK CLERK: “I want to make a withdrawal from my husband’s half of our joint account.”
Joke #13188
To a father, a new baby is an addition to his family and a deduction on his income tax.
Joke #13187
“Why are you so sad?”
“My wife just remarried and I don’t have to pay alimony anymore.”
“Well, that’s nothing to be sad about.”
“Yes it is. She married my boss and now I’m fired.”
Joke #13178
HUSBAND: “My wife is into jogging. Every morning she runs down to the bank to make a withdrawal.”
Joke #13176
The cost of living is so high that now the only thing that the average husband can put aside for a rainy day is an umbrella.
Joke #13169
Ask any mother — the average kid uses soap like it came out of his allowance.
Joke #13156
WIFE: “I hear your Uncle Harry is now doing settlement work.”
HUSBAND: “Yep! His creditors finally caught up with him.”
Joke #13151
A son asked her father, Hey, Pop, can I have 10 bucks to buy a skateboard?”
The father replied, “No! Look, Johnny, you should try to use your brains to raise the 10 dollars yourself.”
About five minutes later the lad returned and said, “Well, I raised the 10 dollars.”
The father asked, “How?”
The youngster smiled and said, “I asked Mom for it.”
Joke #13149
I have the only wife in the world who has to pay her beautician combat pay.