Q: What do you get when you cross a toupee with a groundhog?
A: Six more wigs (weeks) of winter.
Q: What do you get when you cross a toupee with a groundhog?
A: Six more wigs (weeks) of winter.
Q: When do snakes stuff turkeys?
A: Fangsgiving.
Q: When do skunks stuff turkeys?
A: Stanksgiving.
Q: How does celery celebrate Christmas?
A: It hangs up its stalking!
Q: If potatoes have eyes and corn has ears, what do peas have?
A: Each other!
Q: If spinach makes Popeye strong, what makes him romantic?
A: Olive Oyl, of course!
Q: What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw three ghosts following you?
A: Hope it was Halloween!
Q: What did they call the two little twin ghosts that rang all the doorbells on Halloween?
A: Dead ringers!
Q: What did the cat get who played all night under the Christmas tree?
A: A fir coat!
Q: What holiday is strictly observed by all birds?
A: Feather’s Day!
Q: Who is one cool cat at Christmas?
A: Santa Claws!
I hope its not just me, but I find it unbelievably pretentious to name a whole month after a super-specific idea. It pisses me off every time we hit Black History Month. Excuse me, I think that month is actually called FEBRUARY. Sorry if I don’t think your stupid cancer awareness or asian pacific heritage deserves one twelfth of the year to be devoted to your seemingly important cause.
These kinds of holidays should only be allowed to claim one day or at most one week of the year. There are 365 days. Pick ONE of those, you greedy assholes. I hear there’s a bunch of days in August where nothing happens, how about one of those? Why do I have to hear about your sanctimonious bullshit for a whole god damn month? We get it. You want us to learn about you. Wah wah cry me a river. Why don’t you go do something meaningful with your time rather than parading around saying “OH IT’S CANCER AWARENESS MONTH!”
Shit. I wasn’t aware of cancer. But I sure as hell am now considering there’s a whole fucking month named after it. HOORAY!
Just looking at the list of month long holidays on Wikipedia, I’m astounded half of them exist. Here’s a current list of stupid bullshit month-long holidays:
American Heart Month • Asian Pacific American Heritage Month • Black History Month • Cancer Control Month • Child Abuse Prevention Month • Confederate History Month • Gay and Lesbian Pride Month • Jewish American Heritage Month • National Breast Cancer Awareness Month • National Disability Employment Awareness Month • National Hispanic Heritage Month • National Nutrition Month • Ramadan • Steelmark Month • Women’s History Month
I’m giving you the big FU to all of it. I am now founding “I Hate Month-Long Holidays” Year — and it’ll be the whole year long every year until the rest of time. How do you like that????
It’s also amazing to me that you only care about preventing child abuse one month out of the year, but the rest of the time its a-okay (unless you get caught)!
“Hi im santa claus! turn around and give me a hug!”
– Holmes
“Santa Claus will get all north pole on your ass if you don’t be good”
– Holmes