Tag Archives: EmTam
Joke #21956
What do you call a person who speaks 3 languages? Trilingual.
What do you call a person who speaks 2 languages? Bilingual.
What do you call a person who speaks 1 language? American.
Trojan Book Cover
When you’ve got a lot of used books to deal with, you’re bound to find something… unique in a few of them.
Hcaz and Ikik
Once upon a time, yee yonders ago, ok maybe it was last week…BUT ANYWAYS! There was a big, green, sharp tooth T-Rex named Hcaz Lizard. Hcaz didn’t have many friends because whenever he tried to have a conversation with the other dinosaurs he would “RAWR” loudly, but Hcaz couldn’t help it. He was just born with a loud Rawr.
So, Hcaz usually scared all the other dinosaurs away. Everyone though Hcaz was a bloodthirsty, meat-loving T-Rex but in fact he was the very opposite of that. he loved to eat herbs, grass, trees, and vegetables. Hcaz didn’t believe in killing animals to eat, plus it was too messy with all the blood everywhere.
One day while Hcaz was sleeping, a vegetarian thief stole all the veggies, herbs, grass, and trees. All the other dinosaurs rejoiced because they hated that stuff. When Hcaz woke up, he was hungry as usual and decided to eat a tree. He set out to find a delicious looking tree, but there were none left! 🙁
Hcaz was heartbroken and didn’t know what to do. All the other dinosaurs were happy because since Hcaz had no more food he would soon die.
One of the toddler dinosaurs named Ikik felt bad for Hcaz, she didn’t want him to die. Hcaz has been in his cave since the disappearance of his food, so one day Ikik decided to give Hcaz a piece of her meat, she set out on a journey to Hcaz’s cave.
When she arrived, she was scared. But she knew she had to do it. Hcaz was sleeping when he heard her footsteps. Usually Hcaz would have said “Leave me alone!” but he was too sad.
Ikik told Hcaz, “I brought you meat, you need to eat!” Hcaz said in a loud “Rawr”: “NO, but thanks!”
Ikik was scared because it sounded like thunder but she knew he was nice because he said thanks. Ikik began talking to him and he still had a loud rawr, but she understood why. Hcaz and Ikik talked and talked until she had to go home, but she said she would come back tomorrow. From that day on Ikik and Hcaz were good friends all because of a piece of meat. Until Hcaz died of starvation, that is.
The End.
Moral of the story: If you’re a vegetarian and you have to eat meat to survive, maybe you should.
A Bear in S p a c e
Once upon a time in space, there was a bear named David. David was a sad bear who didn’t have any bear friends. Since David was a hairless bear, except for his head, no one wanted to be his friend because he was different.
No one at David’s house cared for him either. His momma and poppa bear were always at the river catching fish. Whenever his parents came home, they only gave David the head of the fish since they hated the head part. David was always hungry as a result.
So, one day, David decided to take off his helmet and leave this sad universe. David said his last goodbyes and took off his helmet. Then his face blew up like a balloon and that was the end of David the lonely bear.
Moral: Shave your head if your whole body is hairless. Then maybe you will conform to the standards of the society and not be seen as an outcast, and have a crummy life to show for it.