There’s one thing I hate about my dog — he’s chicken. Whenever there’s a thunderstorm, he scoots under my bed to hide. And there’s not enough room under there for both of us.
Tag Archives: dog
Joke #12565
My dog is so lazy, he only chases parked cars.
Joke #12564
My pet dog is so bad, last week he was expelled from obedience school.
Joke #12563
My dog is so lazy, you have to wag his tail for him.
Joke #12562
Sigmund Freud’s pet dog spent a lot of time on his master’s couch.
Joke #12442
Times have really changed, even for household pets. In the good old days a man’s pet hound stretched out in front of the fireplace. Now it lounges in front of the air conditioner.
Joke #12423
My husband makes my life miserable. If I were reincarnated as a dog, he’d come back as a flea.
Joke #12407
Bachelors, man was not meant to live alone. So get a dog.
Joke #12390
Did you hear about the rich Texan who bought his dog a boy?
Joke #12384
Two boys were talking. The first lad pointed to his dog and said, “He’s the smartest dog in the world. Watch this. Bang! You’re dead.”
The other boy snickered, “He didn’t do anything. He’s just standing there.”
The first boy replied, “See how smart he is. He knows he’s not dead.”
Joke #12370
Talk about lazy! My husband taught our poodle how to roller skate so he wouldn’t have to walk the dog.
Joke #12358
WIFE: “Oh, dear, I’m sorry but the dog ate the chicken I made for your dinner.”
HUSBAND: “Don’t cry, dear. I’ll take you down to the pet store and buy you a new dog tomorrow.”
Joke #12184
I’m as happy as a hungry flea on a flat hound.
Joke #12166
My dog is really something. Yesterday he chased a small foreign car. The trouble is that he brought it back.
Joke #12082
Back from a 20-mile hike, one GI said to another, “My feet are barking so much, they sound like feeding time in the dog pound.”
The other soldier nodded slowly. “Mine too. Whoever said an Army travels on it’s stomach had a poor judgment of anatomy.”