Q: What does a ship say when it is cold?
A: Shiver me timbers!
Q: What does a ship say when it is cold?
A: Shiver me timbers!
My wife is really suspicious. If I tell her I’m sitting up a with a pal who has a bad cold, I’d better come home sniffling and sneezing.
I know a man who is so dumb, the only thing that can stay in his head for more than a day is a cold.
Manager to his whipped prize fighter: “Keep on swinging, kid. The draft may give him a bad cold.”
It was so cold in the East last year that when cops yelled “Freeze” to fleeing muggers, if the guy stopped running — they did.
With winters being colder than ever and the price of heating oil skyrocketing, I’ll tell you what’s next on the market… antifreeze for people.
DOCTOR: “Why did you jump in that icy river to retrieve your hat? You could have been killed.”
PATIENT: “I know, but I had to get my hat. If I go without one in the winter, I catch cold.”
Q: What do you call a movie musical about having a chest cold?
A: Meet Me in St. Lugey’s.
Q: Should kids with head colds go to school?
A: It’s snot for me to say.
Q: What do you call a figure skater with a chest cold?
A: Peggy phlegming.
cabaer – n. a super freeze ray invisible coat
poughkeepsie – n. super freeze ray power paws
Q: Which runs faster, hot or cold?
A: Hot. Everyone can catch a cold.
—
Another variation of this joke:
Q: What travels faster in space, heat or cold?
A: Heat. You can catch a cold.
Q: What can you catch but not throw?
A: A cold