Yesterday, Godzilla woke up in the morning and said, “Uf! Yo estoy tarde!”
Godzilla took a shower.
Godzilla shaved his beard.
Godzilla got dressed.
Godzilla went to work, but it was Sunday!
Yesterday, Godzilla woke up in the morning and said, “Uf! Yo estoy tarde!”
Godzilla took a shower.
Godzilla shaved his beard.
Godzilla got dressed.
Godzilla went to work, but it was Sunday!
“I have a strange fascination with beards and get weak in the knees when a man uses proper grammar.”
– from a girl’s dating profile
Q: Which carol is about men with beards and moustaches?
A: God Rest Ye Hairy Gentlemen.
As every minute passes, we all grow older. But people say that you’re only as old as you feel. So what is the real difference between young and old? It’s not the years. It’s how you look at life:
– When he’s young, a man can’t wait to grow a beard… but when he gets old, the same man just hates to shave every day.
– When she’s young, a girl loves to fix meals… but when she becomes an old married lady, the thing she hates the most is fixing breakfast, lunch, and dinner for her family every day.
– When he’s young, a man enjoys watching girls… but when he gets old, the same man prefers watching the market.
– When she’s young, a girl loves to make herself look older by putting a gray streak in her hair… but when she gets old and finds a real gray streak in her hair, she cries her eyes out.
I waited in line at the filling station so long yesterday morning that by the time I got to the pumps, I had five o’clock shadow.
After having long hair and a beard and mustache for several years, a hippie shaved his face clean and got a crewcut. When asked why he did it, the hippie replied, “I forgot what I looked like and wanted to refresh my memory.”
Tom: I married a girl who was one of twins.
Jerry: How do you tell them apart?
Tom: Her brother has a beard.
dormril – v. to lustfully look at a man with a full beard even though there is a somewhat equally handsome man who is clean shaven right behind him
Spanish Goatee – n. a mustache and a beard (that looks like a goatee should be) but isn’t connected
benum – v. to light a beard on fire