Q: What do you get if you cross a lizard with a baseball player?
A: An outfielder who catches flies with his tongue.
Tag Archives: baseball
Joke #11535
Little Brother: Thanks for the baseball cards, but I can’t read yet.
Big Brother: Don’t worry. You can still look at the pitchers.
Joke #11534
Q: What is chocolate and is in the Baseball Hall of Fame?
A: Babe Ruth
Joke #11533
Q: Why does it take longer to run from second base to third base than it takes to run from first base to second base?
A: Because there’s a shortstop between second and third.
Joke #11532
Little-League Vampire: Dad, what’s the best way to hold a bat?
Father Vampire: By the wings, son.
Joke #11531
Q: How should a girl flirt with a baseball player?
A: Bat her eyelashes.
Joke #11530
Q: Why was the new shortstop like Cinderella?
A: He ran away from the ball.
Joke #11529
For homework, the teacher asked her students to make a list of nine great Americans.
The next day, everyone handed in their papers except Bobby.
“Bobby, couldn’t you finish the assignment?” the teacher asked.
“I got eight of them,” Bobby answered. “But I just couldn’t decide on the second baseman.”
Joke #11528
Q: Why does a baseball pitcher raise one leg when he pitches?
A: If he raised both legs, he would fall down.
Joke #11526
Little Leaguer: Dad, what does a ballplayer do when his eyesight starts going bad?
Dad: He gets a job as an umpire.
Joke #11524
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Homer.
Homer who?
Homer flew right out of the ballpark.
Joke #11523
There was an umpire who was famous for wandering all over the baseball diamond.
During one game, he got hit on the head by a foul ball and fell down.
The catche rsaid, “We’ve just witnessed the fall of the roamin’ umpire.”
Joke #11522
Two baseball teams played a game. One team won without a man touching home base. How?
They were all-girl teams.
Joke #11521
Q: When does a baseball player wear armor?
A: To play the knight games.
Joke #11520
Q: Why couldn’t they sell soda pop at the doubleheader?
A: The home team lost the opener.