I hate you
You hate me
Barney gave you H.I.V.
So I kicked him in the balls
And you shot him in the head
Now that purple bastards dead
(I hate him so much)
–
Another version of this song:
I hate you
You hate me
Barney gave me HIV
So I kicked him in the balls
And I punched him in the head
Now that purple bastards dead!
I hate you
And Barney
Then comes frickin social studies
So let’s all stomp all over them
But first comes Barney he’s a BITCH!!!!
Submitted through the Anti-Barney song submission form.
–
This form was submitted: May 04 2005 / 06:19:57
name = jo mama
email =
use_email = no
song = barney is gay he should die and i fucked his mom
I hate you
You hate me
Let’s get together
And kill Barney
With a two by four
Knock him on the floor
No more purple dinosour
Submitted through the Anti-Barney Song submission form.
–
This form was submitted: Apr 25 2005 / 08:18:05
name = caca
email = bugarman@
use_email = yes
song = barney sucks
Submitted through the IM/Chat submission form.
–
name = barney assisn
email =
use_email = no
This_is_a(n) = Chat
i_am = barney assisan
chat_room_name = kill barney
victims = anyone
submission = talk about killing barney
Submitted through the Anti-Barney song submission form.
–
name =
email =
use_email = yes
song = BARNEY IS EVIL!!!!!!!!
Loading ... Loading ...“the timid little creature had bit Barney on the leg”
– davepoobond
“The Barney and BJ names and characters and the overlapping dino spots and Barney and star logos are trademarks of Lyons Partnership, L.P. Reg. U.S. Pat. & TM Off. The Baby Bop name and character are trademarks of Lyons Partnership, L.P. Published by Scholastic Inc., 555 Broadway, New York, New York 10012 under license with Lyons Partnership, L.P. ”
– from the Internet
I hate you
You hate me
We’re an evil family
With a great big kick and punch from me to you
And no more purple dinosaur
(a bad remake of the I Love Lucy them song plays, making it sound gayer than it regularly does)
(Barney, the purple dinosaur prances out on stage with a microphone)
(audience is clapping)
Barney: duh huh! I’m Barney, the purple dinosaur, and this is the Barney Love Connection! Yaay!!
(audience cheers loudly)
Barney: This is the show where we give losers that can’t find a date or get any at all, the choice to go out with 3 lovely people, or do 1 alternative choice which could range from anything to nothing!
(audience cheers)
Barney: now let’s welcome our first loser: Mr. Dan Dan the Motorcycle Man!
(Dan Dan rides in on a tricycle sitting down on a heart shaped couch next to Barney)
Barney: Dan Dan, we’ve got a spectacular line up for you today. 1st, lets go to the women for you!
(a shadowy figure appears in each of three boxes to the right of a bigger screen)
(the first of the 3 boxes appears on the bigger screen, and an announcer starts talking)
Announcer: Betty Ba-doop is a brunette from South Alabama. She enjoys space walks, and vacuums. She’s really into guys that can be like a vacuum on her…
(the box fades away, and the second one comes up)
Announcer: Erin White-ass is a blonde woman from Northern New Jersey who enjoys to take long baths with men and drink radioactive water. She has a third boob, extra fun for every one…
(the box fades away, and the third one comes up)
Announcer: Stripper McGoog is a stripper at a local nudey bar. Stripper likes to be naked.
Barney: wow! I wish I were you, so I could pick #3! But! If you don’t like it…(along with the audience) TAKE the ALTERNATIVE CHOICE!!
(audience cheers)
Barney: Let’s show him his alternative choice!
Announcer: if you don’t like any of the women, here, you have to make out with…THIS CAN OF TOMATO PASTE!!!
(the camera zooms in and out on a can of tomato paste over and over)
audience: ewwww!
Dan Dan (rubbing his chin): hmmm…
Barney: what’s it gonna be, Dan Dan? Is it gonna be Betty Ba-doop, Erin White-ass or Stripper McGoog? OR the Alternative choice?? Let’s see what the audience says!
(everyone says something different)
(everyone quiets down)
Idiot: number 8!!
(everyone looks at Idiot like he’s an Idiot and then a sniper shoots him from the rafters)
Idiot: squash
(Idiot dies)
Dan Dan: hmm….
Barney: have you made up your mind!??
Dan Dan: yes! I pick #3!!
(annoying bells ring and lights flash)
Barney: congratulations! You picked Stripper McGoog! Let’s see her!
(Stripper’s face appears in the big square again, and is revealed showing a man in a wig, with a beard. He waves at Dan Dan, and blows him a kiss)
Dan Dan (faling out of his seat): ahhh!!!!
(Stripper McGoog walks out from behind the TV screen running over to Dan Dan getting on top of him. You can now see Stripper McGoog is wearing a yellow rubber kinda dress thingy and platform shoes)
Barney: wow! I bet you sure woulda wanted to have made-out with the tomato paste….hahahaha….
(Stripper McGoog kisses Dan Dan over and over as the camera pans out)
Barney: we’ll find out how the date went, and pair up another 2 losers next episode!
(crowd applauds as credits roll and music plays as it does too)
Announcer: The Barney Love Connection with your host Barney Dinosaur is brought to you in main part by SBC, because they don’t have any better shows to put on the air right now, and also Queer-ker Oatmeal!
(end)
Barney sucks
Barney sucks
I hate him
He’s so……..messed up
And I’d give anything to see his head fall off
Okay, this doesn’t rhyme, but I’d pay to see his costume head somehow fall off in a live performance.
I hate you!
You hate me!
Let’s hang Barney from a tree!
With a knife through his back and a gun to his head,
Pull the trigger, Barney’s dead!