Visitors from space have a strange idea about the way things work on Earth.
One alien picked up the phone and dialed “0.”
When the operator answered, he said, “The telephone cord is too long. Would you please pull it through from your end?”
Joke #10779
Two space creatures landed in the jungle.
First: “I just found out, I’m stronger than Tarzan!”
Second: “How do you know that?”
First: “Because I don’t scream when I beat my chest.”
Joke #10778
A farmer rushed over to a flying saucer which had just landed, and spoke to the creature who emerged from within.
“Hey, you!” he exclaimed.
“Do you know you landed your spaceship in my potato patch?”
“So what?” said the creature. “Now you can raise mashed potatoes!”
Joke #10777
Farmer: “Yes, this is a tobacco plant, sir.”
Martian: “How long before the cigars get ripe?”
Joke #10776
Two spacemen were shooting through space in their rocketship.
They were returning to their planet from Earth, and were bringing back a bunch of bananas. They had never seen bananas before.
Just as one of them bit into his banana, the spaceship dropped into a Black Hole.
First spaceman: “Did you take a bite out of your banana?”
Second: “No.”
First man: “Well, don’t. I just did and went blind!”
Joke #10775
The Martians set down in the middle of a big city.
They weren’t sure where they were, and set out to find someone who could tell them.
“Why not ask him?” said one, pointing to a fire hydrant.
“Don’t be silly,” said the chief Martian.
“Can’t you see he’s only a child?”
Joke #10774
Q: Why do flies eat throw-up?
A: It’s a dirty job, but somebody’s got to do it.
Joke #10773
Q: What do you get when you mix franks and beans, a hot day, and a kid with a queasy stomach?
A: I don’t know, but you’re standing in it.
Joke #10772
Q: What do you call a dish featuring meat from pigs and people?
A: Pork and beings.
Joke #10771
Q: What do you call a movie about a dad who accidentally saws his child in half?
A: Honey, I Shrunk Our Kid.
Joke #10770
Q: Why do gnats hate to throw up after a meal?
A: It draws flies.
Joke #10769
Q: Why are franks and beans such a good lunch on a hot day?
A: They are as good coming up as they are going down.
Joke #10768
Q: Why do gnats love open sores?
A: Because they don’t have to worry about who gets to eat the scab.
Joke #10767
Q: Why do crocodile mothers often eat their young?
A: They just love them to death.
Joke #10766
Q: Why do mother birds vomit into their chicks’ mouths?
A: They hate to send them out without a hot breakfast.