Q: Where is the headquarters of the Umpires’ Association?
A: The Umpire State Building.
Joke #11526
Little Leaguer: Dad, what does a ballplayer do when his eyesight starts going bad?
Dad: He gets a job as an umpire.
Joke #11525
First Boy: Wow! It’s a run-home!
Second Boy: You mean a home run.
First Boy: No, I mean a run-home. You just hit the ball through the neighbor’s window!
Joke #11524
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Homer.
Homer who?
Homer flew right out of the ballpark.
Joke #11523
There was an umpire who was famous for wandering all over the baseball diamond.
During one game, he got hit on the head by a foul ball and fell down.
The catche rsaid, “We’ve just witnessed the fall of the roamin’ umpire.”
Joke #11522
Two baseball teams played a game. One team won without a man touching home base. How?
They were all-girl teams.
Joke #11521
Q: When does a baseball player wear armor?
A: To play the knight games.
Joke #11520
Q: Why couldn’t they sell soda pop at the doubleheader?
A: The home team lost the opener.
Joke #11518
Game Warden: Didn’t you see the sign? It says, “No Fishing.”
Boy: I’m not fishing. I’m teaching these worms how to swim.
Joke #11517
A group of hikers were being led through the wilderness by a guide.
On the third day, the hikers noticed they had been traveling in circles.
“We’re lost!” one hiker complained. “And you said you were the best guide in the United States.”
“I am,” the guide answered, “but I think we may have wandered into Canada.”
Joke #11515
The ticket seller at a high school basketball game let in the chicken, the turkey, the pheasant, and the goose. But he turned away the duck. Why?
Five fowls and you’re out.
Joke #11514
Q: What do you get if you tie two bikes together?
A: Siamese Schwinns.
Joke #11513
Q: What do you get if you cross a karate expert with a tree?
A: Spruce Lee.
Joke #11512
Q: What do pigs do when they play basketball?
A: Hog the ball.
Joke #11511
A brunette is trying to get across a river and suddenly she spots a blonde on the other side.
She yells over to the blonde, “Hey, excuse me! How do I get over to the other side?”
And after a quick survey of the river, the blonde calls back “You ARE on the other side!”