Doctor: What happened to you?
Patient: I went camping with a baseball player.
Doctor: What’s that got to do with your black eye?
Patient: I told him to pitch the tent, and he did.
Joke #11541
Q: Where should a baseball team never wear red?
A: In the bullpen.
Joke #11540
It was the new pitcher’s first game on the mound, and he was not having a good day. After walking his third straight player, the manager came out for a talk.
“That’s enough,” the manager said. “It’s time I bring in a relief pitcher.”
“But look who’s up to bat,” the pitcher said. “Last time that guy was up, I struck him out.”
“Yeah, I know,” the manager said. “But this is still the same inning.”
Joke #11539
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
José.
José who?
José, can you see by the dawn’s early light…
Joke #11538
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Uriah.
Uriah who?
Keep Uriah on the ball.
Joke #11537
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Philip.
Philip who?
Philip the bases.
Joke #11536
Q: What do you get if you cross a lizard with a baseball player?
A: An outfielder who catches flies with his tongue.
Joke #11535
Little Brother: Thanks for the baseball cards, but I can’t read yet.
Big Brother: Don’t worry. You can still look at the pitchers.
Joke #11534
Q: What is chocolate and is in the Baseball Hall of Fame?
A: Babe Ruth
Joke #11533
Q: Why does it take longer to run from second base to third base than it takes to run from first base to second base?
A: Because there’s a shortstop between second and third.
Joke #11532
Little-League Vampire: Dad, what’s the best way to hold a bat?
Father Vampire: By the wings, son.
Joke #11531
Q: How should a girl flirt with a baseball player?
A: Bat her eyelashes.
Joke #11530
Q: Why was the new shortstop like Cinderella?
A: He ran away from the ball.
Joke #11529
For homework, the teacher asked her students to make a list of nine great Americans.
The next day, everyone handed in their papers except Bobby.
“Bobby, couldn’t you finish the assignment?” the teacher asked.
“I got eight of them,” Bobby answered. “But I just couldn’t decide on the second baseman.”
Joke #11528
Q: Why does a baseball pitcher raise one leg when he pitches?
A: If he raised both legs, he would fall down.