A woman’s work is never done. And my wife’s housecleaning proves that.
Joke #12359
I wouldn’t trade my wife for anything in the world. Take her free of charge.
Joke #12358
WIFE: “Oh, dear, I’m sorry but the dog ate the chicken I made for your dinner.”
HUSBAND: “Don’t cry, dear. I’ll take you down to the pet store and buy you a new dog tomorrow.”
Joke #12357
When I first saw my wife, she turned my head with her looks. Now that we’re married, she turns my stomach with her cooking.
Joke #12356
My wife admits that she’s not perfect. She’s the first one to say she’s made mistakes in the past. That’s how she explains our marriage.
Joke #12355
Two husbands were sitting at the bar swapping complaints. “My wife can cook, but doesn’t,” sighed one man.
“Don’t feel bad,” replied the other husband. “My wife can’t cook, but does.”
Joke #12354
Officials in New Jersey are so afraid of organized crime infiltrating the gambling casinos in Atlantic City that they’ve taken special precautions. They now require hotel desk clerks to check guests’ baggage and their fingerprints.
Joke #12353
Did you hear about the dumb patrolman who carried a tool box with him in case he ever had to fix a parking ticket?
Joke #12352
Did you hear about the Florida pickpocket who went bankrupt because he had cold hands?
Joke #12351
Inflation has even affected our police operations. Now the cops only look for missing persons who owe back taxes.
Joke #12350
THUG 1: “Do you want to share a cab with me?”
THUG 2: “Sure.”
THUG 1: “Okay. I get the tires. You get the radio. I get the hubcaps. You get the battery…”
Joke #12347
TRAFFIC JUDGE: “For speeding, the penalty is ten days in jail or ten dollars cash.”
MOTORIST: “I’ll take the cash, Your Honor. I can use it.”
Joke #12346
Plea bargaining has changed the way Americans think. If they arrested Patrick Henry today, he’d probably say, “Give me liberty or make me a deal.”
Joke #12345
The gas shortage is certainly affecting crime. Yesterday two hoods robbed a bank of $50,000 and escaped on bicycles.
Joke #12344
Did you hear about the nervous hitman whose aim was so bad, he couldn’t rub out an elephant with a machine gun at ten paces?