OVERHEARD: “I won’t say my wife is a bad cook, but how can anyone burn cornflakes?”
Joke #13171
LITTLE TEDDY: “What is your father doing?”
LITTLE EDDY: “According to my mother, as little as possible.”
Joke #13170
My brother-in-law is a big eater. Some people are born with a silver spoon in their mouths. He was born with a shovel in his hand.
Joke #13169
Ask any mother — the average kid uses soap like it came out of his allowance.
Joke #13168
I haven’t spoken to my wife in three weeks. I don’t like to interrupt her when she’s talking.
Joke #13167
Husbands, if your wife drives you crazy by chattering all day, get back at her by snoring all night.
Joke #13166
My husband isn’t too bright. He thinks that in order to make wine, you have to milk the grapes.
Joke #13165
My daughter’s having a slight disagreement with her boyfriend about their wedding. She wants a big church wedding and he wants to stay single.
Joke #13164
My husband is so modest, he swears his birthday suit came with two pairs of trousers and a vest.
Joke #13163
My wife is so modest, she blindfolds herself while taking a shower.
Joke #13162
For years now, my daughter has been planning a runaway wedding with her boyfriend. Every time she plans a wedding, he runs away.
Joke #13161
Talk about modern couples. How about the newlyweds who insisted on having separate honeymoons?
Joke #13160
My wife and I have a beef stew marriage. Every time I come home stewed, she beefs.
Joke #13159
Getting married is like joining the Army. If you don’t go in on the buddy system the battles will be pure hell.
Joke #13158
Whenever my wife and I have an argument, I always listen to both sides of the story — my wife’s and my mother-in-law’s.