Q: What did the dealer say to the deck of cards?
A: “I can’t deal with you anymore.”
Joke #18337
Q: Why are poisonous trees more dangerous than guard dogs?
A: Their bark is worse than their bite.
Joke #18336
Q: What kind of shoes do secret agents wear?
A: Hush Puppies.
Joke #18335
Q: What would you get if you crossed a dill with a thief?
A: A pickle-pocket.
Joke #18334
Q: Why was the dishwasher arrested?
A: For panhandling.
Joke #18333
Q: What do English teachers and judges have in common?
A: They both like long sentences.
Joke #18332
Q: What Oriental chef is also a detective?
A: Sherwok Holmes.
Joke #18331
Q: What detective is also a barber?
A: Sherlock Combs.
Joke #18330
Q: What’s an owl’s favorite mystery?
A: A whoooo-dunnit.
Joke #18329
Q: Why was the bird arrested?
A: For blue jay walking.
Joke #18328
Q: What’s squiggly, sharp, and very dangerous?
A: A worm with an icepick.
Joke #18327
Q: What happened to the cookie on the witness stand?
A: He crumbled under oath.
Joke #18326
Q: What game do farm kids play in the cornfields?
A: Cobs and robbers.
Joke #18325
Q: Why was the ghost found innocent?
A: Because he had an ali-boo.
Joke #18324
LAWYER: “I’ve got good news and bad news.”
PRISONER: “What’s the bad news?”
LAWYER: “They’re still going to electrocute you at sunrise.”
PRISONER: “What’s the good news?”
LAWYER: “I got the voltage reduced.”