Category Archives: Prank IMs

1 to 1 pranks.

#6134: davepoobond -> doman

davepoobond: fag. what the hell are you doing on my buddy list

doman: what the fuck if I was a fag then why did you put me there and who the fuck is this you dumbshit

davepoobond: what the hell did you just say?

davepoobond: i dont even understand that. you’re a fag, and you’re on my buddy list, and i dont know how you got there

doman: well if somebody calls me a fag i get pissed at them

doman: well why did you put me there if i am a fag

doman: and who the fuck is this

davepoobond: i didnt put you there

davepoobond: you probably put yourself there

davepoobond: my name is poop

davepoobond: now how the hell did you get on my buddy list

doman: how the hell should i know

doman: what do i look like some sort of computer genius

doman: and i dont know a mack

davepoobond: i dont know, i havent seen you before

davepoobond: well thats your problem, then is it?

davepoobond: tell me

doman: shut up

davepoobond: before i beat your ass

davepoobond: hi

doman: what?

davepoobond: who are you

doman: i dont know who are you

davepoobond: what are you talking about

doman: well you messaged me first so i would assume you know who i am

davepoobond: well, i would assume i dont know who you are because i just asked “who are you” now tell me who you are

doman: no

davepoobond: yes

#6133: davepoobond -> sPOtLiTEswEEtY

davepoobond: WOW WOW WOW! FOUR GIRLS

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: yeahhh

davepoobond: isnt it boring

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: what here?

davepoobond: what do you DO

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: yeah thats why were on

davepoobond: Aaliyah died

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: lotsa stuff~~you name it

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: oh

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: we know

davepoobond: are you happy about that?

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: no

davepoobond: ok……..

davepoobond: wanna see my site?

davepoobond: its funny

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: okay

davepoobond: www.squackle.cjb.net

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: yeah we went but it didnt work

davepoobond: uh?

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: ur site

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: okay we thought you wanted to do stuff

davepoobond: it works for me……

davepoobond: do stuff like what

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: i dunno… think about it

davepoobond: hmm………

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: ….

davepoobond: hint?

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: what gives you satisfaction?

davepoobond: discussing how badly Keanu Reeves acting is

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: noo

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: try again

davepoobond: umm…………….

davepoobond: how about……………….looking into the sun

davepoobond: for days on end

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: that would be cool…what would make it better

davepoobond: staring at the sun without sunglasses

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: r u prude

davepoobond: prude…..?

davepoobond: whats that supposed to mean

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: omg

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: r u serious?

davepoobond: what?

davepoobond: the dictionary says a weird definition using the word “priggishly”

davepoobond: whats it supposed to mean

davepoobond: hello?

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: ok can we explain what prude means?

davepoobond: yeah sure…….were u typing it?

davepoobond: cuz it must be a long defintion then

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: ok~ when ur prude it means u’ve neva hooked^ b4

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: hooked^~like makin out,frenchkiss

davepoobond: where do you live?

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: new jersey

davepoobond: ok, in California, we dont use the word “prude”

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: okay what words do you use?

davepoobond: pillow smeller

davepoobond: thats what prude means over here

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: ohhh

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: cool.

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: so r u a pillow smeller?

davepoobond: well, only when i sleep, cuz i sleep with my face in the pillow

davepoobond: ok, i was just kidding around. yes, i am what you call a “prude.” we dont have a word for “prude” over here that i know of

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: ohhh

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: how old r u again?

davepoobond: 15

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: ohhhhhh

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: r u cute

davepoobond: i dont know

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: okay

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: we gotta go

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: bye

davepoobond: sureee ya do

davepoobond: k bye

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: no we do seriously

sPOtLiTEswEEtY: ttyl

davepoobond: mmhmm

davepoobond: i know

sPOtLiTEswEEtY signed on at 10:36:43 PM.

#6124: davepoobond -> Crest kid

davepoobond: hey you

Crest kid: who the fuck is this

davepoobond: i was going to ask the same thing

davepoobond: you fuckin bitch

davepoobond: what the HELL are you doing on my buddy list, fag

Crest kid: u imed me tho…

davepoobond: and?

davepoobond: i didnt IM you first

davepoobond: what are you talking about?

davepoobond: since when did i do that?

davepoobond: hello?

Crest kid: ur kinda gay

Crest kid: bye

davepoobond: i’m not kinda gay

davepoobond: i’m not gay at all

davepoobond: ass

davepoobond: die!

davepoobond: you suck

davepoobond: you suck

davepoobond: you suck

Crest kid: lol

Crest kid: ok

davepoobond: hahah

davepoobond: that was funny

davepoobond: hi

davepoobond: hello?

Crest kid: hi

davepoobond: hi

Crest kid: ya

davepoobond: hi

davepoobond: hi

Crest kid: ya

davepoobond: hi

Crest kid: ok

davepoobond: ok

davepoobond: do you like hamburgers?

davepoobond: your icon is stupid

davepoobond: thats why i’m asking

davepoobond: cant you get a better one?

Crest kid: ya prolly

davepoobond: good

davepoobond: get an explosion

Crest kid: so doi know u?

davepoobond: like i do

Crest kid: uhh

davepoobond: i dont think you do

Crest kid: u dont have an explosion homie

Crest kid: u aint got shit

davepoobond: wait a sec

davepoobond: i’ll get it on

davepoobond: ok

Crest kid: k

davepoobond: k

davepoobond: did you get it

davepoobond: yay a penguin

davepoobond: thats better

davepoobond: penguins look funny

Crest kid: so serioous who r u?

davepoobond: mack

Crest kid: mack?

Crest kid: wtf

davepoobond: yeah

Crest kid: i dnt lknwo ne mack

davepoobond: my parents named me it, what am i supposed to do?

Crest kid: o lol i guess

Crest kid: so serious how ju get my sn?

davepoobond: i dont know, it was on my buddy list

davepoobond: thats why i was asking you

Crest kid: hey wtf is ur secret message ?

Crest kid: i cant find it

davepoobond: haha

davepoobond: you looked there

Crest kid: ya

Crest kid: lol

davepoobond: its not that hard

Crest kid: ytf r u so wierd?

davepoobond: i’m not weird at all

::he IMs me on a different sn, but i know its him::

Crest kid: k

davepoobond: k?

davepoobond: yay, chris farley

Crest kid: lol

Crest kid: ya fo0

Crest kid: hes the shit…

Crest kid: having…

Crest kid: 19 toes is a pain ?

davepoobond: yeah

Crest kid: tahts it?

davepoobond: i told you its not that hard

Crest kid: k

Crest kid: i like mine better

Crest kid: my info

davepoobond: its gay

davepoobond: i see that all the time

Crest kid: thats dick fo0o

Crest kid: dont hate…

Crest kid: y u gottta talk jelly bout ma info..

davepoobond: because your strawberries are rotten

davepoobond: thats why

Crest kid: lol

Crest kid: so where the fuck r u from?

davepoobond: alabama

Crest kid: alabama?

Crest kid: wtf

Crest kid: r u a n*gger

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: yes, alabama

davepoobond: its a state

davepoobond: in the US

Crest kid: i know

Crest kid: im in pe iite

Crest kid: i know my states

#6118: davepoobond -> whitemagic

davepoobond: who are you

whitemagic: i am me

davepoobond: whoa

davepoobond: i am me too

whitemagic: okay…

davepoobond: you cant be me, because me is me

whitemagic: whatever

davepoobond: and me is me which is not you, because me is not you

davepoobond: and you cannot be me

davepoobond: because me is me

davepoobond: which is not you

davepoobond: because me is not you

davepoobond: and you is not me

davepoobond: me is me, only me

davepoobond: you cannot be me

whitemagic: a’ight, you can stfu now!!!

davepoobond: but, seriously, who are you

whitemagic: i already told you

davepoobond: nuh uh

whitemagic: yes i did!!!!

davepoobond: when?

whitemagic: didn’t i tell you to stfu??

davepoobond: no

whitemagic: yes i did!

whitemagic: you prolly don’t even know what that means

davepoobond: i know what that means

davepoobond: that is that

davepoobond: this is not that

davepoobond: and that is not this

whitemagic: ….

davepoobond: that can only be that, because this is not that

whitemagic: what the fuck…?

davepoobond: and that is that and that is that, but this is not that, and can never be that

whitemagic: shut the fuck up already!!!!

whitemagic: goddamn….

davepoobond: fuck cannot go up

whitemagic: ….

whitemagic: ugh….

davepoobond: ugh what?

davepoobond: ugh is a cartoon character

whitemagic: you are so goddamn annoying!!!!

whitemagic: i’m just about to block you….

davepoobond: ::fart:: why do you think so?

davepoobond: nooo! dont

whitemagic: why shouldn’t i block you??

davepoobond: because

whitemagic: because why?

davepoobond: why?

davepoobond: you want me to tell you why?

davepoobond: just dont

whitemagic: that’s not a good enough answer

davepoobond: i had you on my bl for some reason

davepoobond: maybe we knew each other

whitemagic: ummm….what’s your old s/n?

davepoobond: this is the only one i use

davepoobond: havent been on it for a long time though

whitemagic: what the fuck?? i have never talked to you before…..

davepoobond: then why the hell are you on my buddy list?

davepoobond: you didnt put yourself on there

whitemagic: i don’t know you so lemme alone!!

davepoobond: lemme?

davepoobond: lemmy

davepoobond: leammy

whitemagic: ….

whitemagic: shut up!!!

davepoobond: no!!!

davepoobond: go awayyyy

davepoobond: you’re so annoying

davepoobond: i’m gonna block you

whitemagic: go ahead!

davepoobond: wah wah, cry me a river

davepoobond: y should i?

whitemagic: ….

davepoobond: :-!

davepoobond: :'(

davepoobond: :-$

davepoobond: >:o

davepoobond: =-O

davepoobond: :-*

whitemagic: could you please leave me alone….

whitemagic: ….

davepoobond: but why?

davepoobond: i thought we were best friends

davepoobond: we used to go the park together and such

whitemagic: say wha’??? umm……no

davepoobond: we went to each others birthday partys

davepoobond: and had slumber partys

whitemagic: no

davepoobond: yes

davepoobond: i was there

whitemagic: ….

davepoobond: hello

whitemagic: be gone you annoying asshole!!!!

davepoobond: nooooooooooooooooo

whitemagic: yyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssssss

davepoobond: nooooooooooo

davepoobond: nuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!

davepoobond: naaaaaaaaahhhhh!

whitemagic: yes!!!!!!!!

davepoobond: nuhhhhh uhhhhhh!

davepoobond: do you like me?

whitemagic: i don’t even know you….

davepoobond: so

whitemagic: i can’t like someone i don’t know

davepoobond: whats your point

davepoobond: whats the big deal, duuuude

whitemagic: ummmm…………go fuck yourself….

davepoobond: cant if i already diiiiiid

whitemagic: ewww

davepoobond: barbeque sauce too

whitemagic: gross….

davepoobond: i want my baby back

davepoobond: chilis

davepoobond: baby back ribs

whitemagic: can you please please please please leave me alone…

davepoobond: y

davepoobond: y not?

whitemagic: i don’t like talking to annoying people…..

davepoobond: and

whitemagic: i want you to leave me alone cause you are annoying

davepoobond: why

whitemagic: ugh….i thought i told you to leave me alone….

davepoobond: when?

whitemagic: earlier

davepoobond: how earlier

whitemagic: ya dumbass…..

davepoobond: i know you are but what am i

whitemagic: that’s sooooooooooooo old….

davepoobond: nuh uhhhhhhh

davepoobond: they used it on Thundercats yesterday!

whitemagic: ummm……thundercats???

davepoobond: yes

davepoobond: a cartoon

whitemagic: you watch that gay program???

davepoobond: its not gay

davepoobond: its coo

davepoobond: thunder thunder thundercats! hoooo

whitemagic: ….

davepoobond: i am lord of the thundercats

whitemagic: ummmmmm…………….get the hell away from me…….

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: you go away

davepoobond: wah wah, cry me a river

whitemagic: i was here first!!!!!!!!

whitemagic: how old are you???

davepoobond: nuh uh

davepoobond: i was born b4 you

davepoobond: first you

whitemagic: …

whitemagic: a’ight that’s it…..off to block land for you!!!!!!!

davepoobond: NO

whitemagic: bye bye

davepoobond: i’ll tell you

whitemagic: …

davepoobond: its your age +1

whitemagic: how do you know my age??

davepoobond: its in your profile

whitemagic: it is??

davepoobond: yes

whitemagic: is not!!!!

davepoobond: YES!

davepoobond: made you look!

davepoobond: AHAHA

whitemagic: ….

whitemagic: where do you live???

davepoobond: depends on where you live

whitemagic: just tell me where you live or i’ll block you

davepoobond: califo

davepoobond: mmhmm

davepoobond: that i do

whitemagic: …

whitemagic: what’s your name?

davepoobond: schmin

whitemagic: what the hell kind of name is that???

davepoobond: i dont know

whitemagic: ….

davepoobond: i’m Schmin De Enberg

davepoobond: its german i guess

whitemagic: okay….

davepoobond: how about u?

whitemagic: my name’s Rachel

whitemagic: i’m not telling you my last name or anything else

davepoobond: oh

davepoobond: i didnt know you were a girl

whitemagic: oh….

davepoobond: where do you live?

davepoobond: i told you where i did

whitemagic: MI.

davepoobond: this was a stupid IM huh

whitemagic: yeah

whitemagic: still, you didn’t tell me your age…

davepoobond: 15

whitemagic: okay…

davepoobond: urs?

whitemagic: i’m only 12

davepoobond: eh, plus 1 isnt that far away

davepoobond: wanna see my site?

davepoobond: i do a bunch of these stupid IMs for it

davepoobond: thats the main reason why i was annoying you

davepoobond: nothing like real life responses

whitemagic: ….

davepoobond: lol

whitemagic: if only i lived closer to you i’d prolly come kill you….

davepoobond: lol

davepoobond: its not that bad

davepoobond: i make it anonymous

davepoobond: so you dont have to worry

whitemagic: ….

davepoobond: so, do you want to see it or not?

whitemagic: i don’t care…

davepoobond: so, do you want to see it or not?

whitemagic: i don’t care…

davepoobond: https://www.squackle.com/

whitemagic: ummm…….can we all say that’s a fucked up site??

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: it wont b for long

davepoobond: i’m getting a new format

whitemagic: whatever

whitemagic: …

davepoobond: what do you think of it?

whitemagic: i think it’s totally fucked up…..

davepoobond: ok

whitemagic: ….

whitemagic: okay, you’re 15 and you watch thundercats???

davepoobond: not really

davepoobond: i watch it cause its on

davepoobond: i watch Cartoon Network all day

whitemagic: uh huh

davepoobond: nothing else on

whitemagic: you’re like 15 though, you’re not supposed to watch cartoons anymore….

davepoobond: how old do you think the people that make cartoons are?

whitemagic: old old people but still….

davepoobond: what else am i supposed to watch?

davepoobond: Dark Angel?

davepoobond: 7th Heaven?

davepoobond: PLEASE! helllll no

whitemagic: Dark Angel is a cool program…..

davepoobond: quackquackquack ::laughs::

davepoobond: its the worst show ever

whitemagic: nooooooooo

davepoobond: one of them

davepoobond: its got bad acting

whitemagic: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

oooooooooooooooooooo

davepoobond: yessssss

whitemagic: nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

davepoobond: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS

davepoobond: x3

whitemagic: ….

whitemagic: damn you….

davepoobond: lol

whitemagic: nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

whitemagic: there

whitemagic: heh

davepoobond: ::face fault::

whitemagic: huh???

davepoobond: appears you have won, young jedi

whitemagic: jedi???

whitemagic: oh my god…

davepoobond: lol

davepoobond: what do you want me to call you?

whitemagic: ummm…….how about……….Rachel

whitemagic: since that is my name and all

davepoobond: hmm….interesting

davepoobond: its a bit confusing…i dont think i will

whitemagic: ….

whitemagic: dammit!!!

davepoobond: LOL

davepoobond: LOL

whitemagic: ….

davepoobond: i’ll call you a fish

davepoobond: hello a fish

davepoobond: its sorta like the A-team

davepoobond: A-Fish

whitemagic: no…

davepoobond: then what?

whitemagic: i will block you…

davepoobond: no!

whitemagic: heh heh heh

#6115: davepoobond -> zav

This entry is part 3 of 3 in the series Fookin With zav

davepoobond: YO! boieeeeeeeeee!

zav: who is this

davepoobond: my friends friend’s friend gave me your sn

zav: oh

davepoobond: but my friends friends friend is my friend…..

zav: whats the name

davepoobond: the name of what?

zav: u

davepoobond: whats my name?

zav: yea

davepoobond: yogi

davepoobond: whats urs

zav: Brandon

zav: and u

davepoobond: i just said it…..

davepoobond: YOGI

zav: oh

zav: where do u go to school

zav: ?

davepoobond: no where

davepoobond: i home school

zav: oh

davepoobond: cuz, the end of the world is coming soon

davepoobond: and my parents took me out of school

davepoobond: cuz they said there was no need

davepoobond: since the world was gonna end soon

zav: what

zav: thats gay

davepoobond: not my fault

davepoobond: my parents did it

davepoobond: so

davepoobond: have you looked at the stars lately?

#6114: davepoobond -> BlackOneHunter

This entry is part 1 of 3 in the series I Am Known As BOH

davepoobond: hi

BlackOneHunter: Who are you?

davepoobond: me

davepoobond: how about u?

BlackOneHunter: great…

davepoobond: great is your name?

davepoobond: thats great, great

davepoobond: so how great is it being great, great?

BlackOneHunter: F off till you tell me who you are.

davepoobond: how do you F off?

BlackOneHunter: fuck off.

BlackOneHunter: you either tell me who you are.

davepoobond: i told you who i am

BlackOneHunter: Or not communicate.

davepoobond: i am communicating though

davepoobond: and i told you who i am

davepoobond: whats the problem?

BlackOneHunter: ~*rests hand on Lazgun*~

davepoobond: lazgun…

davepoobond: ::rests hands on a piece of poop::

davepoobond: hmm….warm….

BlackOneHunter: ~*struts away*~

davepoobond: ::squishes it::

davepoobond: ::tosses it at you::

davepoobond: ::riverdances to you::

davepoobond: where are you goingggggggg

davepoobond: pooooooooooooooo

davepoobond: hello

BlackOneHunter: ~*ducks*~

BlackOneHunter: wanna be melted into goo?

BlackOneHunter: if not buzz off.

BlackOneHunter: ~*gone*~

davepoobond: i like horse radish

BlackOneHunter: .

davepoobond: i’m george of the jungle

davepoobond: whats your name

BlackOneHunter: .

davepoobond: .?

davepoobond: thats your name?

BlackOneHunter: BOH I am known as BOH

davepoobond: BOH?

davepoobond: does that mean “my Body Odoris Horendous”

BlackOneHunter: BlackOneHunter.

davepoobond: mmhmm…

davepoobond: have you ever time travelled?

BlackOneHunter: BlackOneHunter.

davepoobond: no

BlackOneHunter: Listen up punk.

BlackOneHunter: I got a record in RL.

davepoobond: do you have a canoe?

BlackOneHunter: Don’t piss me off.

davepoobond: whats a RL

BlackOneHunter: BUZZ OFF!

davepoobond: do you have a canoe though?

davepoobond: canoes are cool

#6113: davepoobond -> BLACKLABL

davepoobond: do u live in Iraq?

BLACKLABL: CUNT

BLACKLABL: NO

davepoobond: hey hey hey

davepoobond: thats not nice

davepoobond: dude, chill

BLACKLABL: SAYING I LIVE IN IRAQ ISNT NICE

davepoobond: i didnt say that

BLACKLABL: THEIR THE DIRTYEST NASTYEST SCUM ON THE EARTH

davepoobond: ok

davepoobond: i’m glad you think highly of them

BLACKLABL: DO U LIVE THERE

BLACKLABL: CUNT?

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: i live in my potty

BLACKLABL: ARE U GAY

davepoobond: hmm

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: i dont suppose

BLACKLABL: BASEBOY90 IS MY FATHER

BLACKLABL: BITCH

davepoobond: dude

davepoobond: why did you call me a bitch

davepoobond: i didnt do nothing

BLACKLABL: CUZ YOUR A BITCH

BLACKLABL: DO I GIVE OFF THE IMPRESSION THAT I LIVE IN IRAQ

davepoobond: yes, you do actually

davepoobond: why do you ask?

BLACKLABL: HOWS THAT CUNT

davepoobond: arent you already?

davepoobond: i’m not a cunt

davepoobond: thats rude

BLACKLABL: U R WHAT U EAT?

BLACKLABL: WILL U SUCK MY DICK?

davepoobond: havent you ever learned manners at the zoo?

davepoobond: no. get a rhino to do it

BLACKLABL: WELL FUK U THEN

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: fuck yoooooooooou

BLACKLABL: WILL YOU?

davepoobond: ok!

davepoobond: when?

BLACKLABL: YES!

BLACKLABL: FREAKIN RITE NOW

davepoobond: YEEEEEEEEHAW!

davepoobond: ::poops in your mouth::

davepoobond: hahahah!

davepoobond: i fucked you up!

BLACKLABL: RIDE MY CACK

BLACKLABL: U FUCKED ME HARD

davepoobond: lol. you have a CACK?

BLACKLABL: A CACK

davepoobond: lol

davepoobond: a cack is a gay sheep

davepoobond: didnt they teach u that at school?

BLACKLABL: HAHAHA

BLACKLABL: NO

BLACKLABL: BUT WILL U GIMME HEAD OR WHAT?

BLACKLABL: ARE WE GUNNA FUCK OR WHAT>

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: you’re gay

davepoobond: thats what

BLACKLABL: NO I WANT YOU

davepoobond: but i dont want you

BLACKLABL: COME HERE

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: go away

davepoobond: perv

BLACKLABL: PPLEEEEEEZZZZZZEEEEEE

BLACKLABL: FINE THEN BITCH

BLACKLABL: FREAKIN PRUDE BITCH

davepoobond: go eat a prune

davepoobond: ya 1 inch pencil dick

davepoobond: hahaah

davepoobond: you have a pencil dick

davepoobond: just wait till i tell my friends

BLACKLABL: IS THAT SUM N*GGER JACKED SAYING U HAVE

davepoobond: cuz then they’ll tell their friends

davepoobond: and they’ll tell their friends

davepoobond: and pretty soon you wont get laid!

davepoobond: EVER!

BLACKLABL: WHAT U SHOULD SEE MY MONSTER

davepoobond: monster what

davepoobond: monster bowels?

BLACKLABL: COCK

davepoobond: monster bladder?

BLACKLABL: CACK

davepoobond: cockatu?

BLACKLABL: DICK BITCH

BLACKLABL: ID TARE U IN HALF\

davepoobond: ew! you have a monster with a cack and a man named dick that is your bitch?

davepoobond: god damn, thats gay

BLACKLABL: WHERE THE FUK DID U GET THAT FROM RETARD?

davepoobond: how come you act so gay

BLACKLABL: I SAID I GOTTA MONSTER DICK

BLACKLABL: THATD TARE U IN HAL

BLACKLABL: F

davepoobond: lol! you have a monster dick?

BLACKLABL: SIZED

davepoobond: you have a MONSTER’s dick

davepoobond: ewwwwwww

davepoobond: size 9?

davepoobond: size 1?

BLACKLABL: INCHS

davepoobond: yeah, size 1 sounds monster

davepoobond: inchs?

BLACKLABL: INCHES BITCH

davepoobond: is that an ancient indian tribe?

davepoobond: there is no inches bitch

davepoobond: do u eat boogers?

BLACKLABL: OMG ARE U THE MOST RETARDED PERSON EVER

BLACKLABL: I EAT YOUR MOM

davepoobond: lol

davepoobond: you cant eat my mom

BLACKLABL: WHY CUZ THATS YOUR JOB?

davepoobond: thats stupid

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: you’re a stoner thats why

BLACKLABL: YEA YOU FUKIN WHORE

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: i’m not a whore

davepoobond: i’m a pimp

BLACKLABL: OOOOOO NOW YOUR A STRAIGHT EDGE BITCH

davepoobond: you bastard

BLACKLABL: OH GOD YA RITE YOUR PRUDE AS FUK

davepoobond: yeah, i have a straight edge

davepoobond: i dont have a prune

BLACKLABL: UMMMM\

davepoobond: go eat prunes

BLACKLABL: U FUKIN EAT A DICK

davepoobond: purnes are dried plums

davepoobond: did you know that?

BLACKLABL: PRUDE

davepoobond: and banana peels are good for the heart too

BLACKLABL: NOT PRUNE YOU CUNT

davepoobond: prude?

davepoobond: what the fuck is a prude?

davepoobond: is that your family?

BLACKLABL: U ARE ONE FREAKIN FORIENGER

davepoobond: “hello. i’m a prude”

BLACKLABL: U DONT KNOW WHAT INCHES OR PRUDE MEANS

BLACKLABL: \ARE U A RETARD?

davepoobond: lol

BLACKLABL: SERIOUSLY IM MA AT U

davepoobond: of course i’m not a retard

BLACKLABL: YEA U ARE

BLACKLABL: MAYBE WELL TALK WHEN U GETTA GREEN CARD

davepoobond: i dont need a green card

davepoobond: i live in San Salvador

BLACKLABL: OH YOUR ILLEAGLE

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: actually

davepoobond: i live in Costa Rica

BLACKLABL: MAKE UP YOUR MIND

davepoobond: you know, with Jurassic Park?

BLACKLABL: ACTUALLY YOUR A BEANER SO SHUT UP

davepoobond: wait. i dont think i live there

davepoobond: i live in…..

BLACKLABL: YOUR AS

davepoobond: Greenland

BLACKLABL: S

davepoobond: i live in GREENLAND

BLACKLABL: BEANER VILLE

davepoobond: doooood

davepoobond: you suck a lot

davepoobond: and you’re a pigfuck

davepoobond: i cant believe it

davepoobond: you suck so much

davepoobond: guess what?

davepoobond: you suck

davepoobond: hahaha

BLACKLABL: YOUR MOM

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: you got it wrong

davepoobond: you suck

davepoobond: you suck

BLACKLABL: YOU SUCK ME\

davepoobond: guess what?

BLACKLABL: BITCH

davepoobond: no

BLACKLABL: GET ON YOUR KNEES

davepoobond: wrong again

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: i live in a potty

davepoobond: in greenland

davepoobond: i cant get on my knees

BLACKLABL: LISTEN HERE BITCH

davepoobond: no. i wont listen to you

davepoobond: lallalalalalaalalalalalalal

davepoobond: lalalalalala

davepoobond: you’re talking but i cant heeeeeaaaarrrrr you

BLACKLABL: LISTEN HERE BITCH

davepoobond: NO

BLACKLABL: WHAT ARE U ON?

davepoobond: I WONT LISTEN TO YOUR MINDLESS CHATTER

BLACKLABL: CRACK/COCAINE

davepoobond: lemme guess. you want some too?

BLACKLABL: HEROIN?

BLACKLABL: OW CAN U BE SO DUMB?

davepoobond: yes. i’m on heroin

davepoobond: since you spelled heroine wrong

davepoobond: heroin is a girl hero

davepoobond: you idiot!

davepoobond: I CANT BE ON A GIRL HERO

davepoobond: LEARN HOW TO SPELL

davepoobond: WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO SPELL? A FARMER IN ENGLAND?

BLACKLABL: YEA HE WAS YOUR DAD

davepoobond: hmm

davepoobond: no…

davepoobond: i doubt that very much

davepoobond: is your name poop?

BLACKLABL: YOUR DADS A DIRT BEANER FARMER

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: you can farm beans

davepoobond: but my dad cant

davepoobond: since he’s cool

davepoobond: so there

davepoobond: you’re a bastard

davepoobond: you know that?

davepoobond: i bet you dont have anything else to say

davepoobond: cuz you’re so stupid

davepoobond: heeeeeeelllllllooooooooooo, are you stupid?

davepoobond: dont say anything if you are

davepoobond: are you looking for kids with small penis’s?

——————

Then I signed on with a different screen name…

——————

davepoobond: hello. can i interst you in our products?

BLACKLABL: SHUT THE FUK UP

BLACKLABL: FUCKIN FAG

davepoobond: you’re a stupid head

BLACKLABL: GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY FUCKIN COUNTRY

davepoobond: i’m just trying to make money

davepoobond: what country is that? Brazil?

BLACKLABL: THEN SUCK MY DICK

BLACKLABL: USA USA USA

davepoobond: no

BLACKLABL: ILL PAY U

davepoobond: you need Viagra or EnerX before i can even think of that

BLACKLABL: IF U GIMME THE GOOD NUT

BLACKLABL: K GIMME SUM AND ILL FUCK U

davepoobond: sir, i’m not selling nuts

davepoobond: i dont think you’re understanding

BLACKLABL: SHUT UP BITCH

BLACKLABL: SUCK MY DICK

davepoobond: hmmmmmmmmmmmm

davepoobond: no

BLACKLABL: FUK ME THEN

davepoobond: sorry

davepoobond: i left my toilet seat at home

davepoobond: i cant travel without it

BLACKLABL: I DONT NEED VIAGRA

davepoobond: thats what everyone thinks

davepoobond: then they try to get an erection

davepoobond: and then “oh no! i cant get an erection”

BLACKLABL: I HAVE ONE RITE NOW

davepoobond: thats where we come along

davepoobond: surrreee ya do

BLACKLABL: UD BETTER HURRY

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: you’d better shut up before that

BLACKLABL: WHAT BITCH

BLACKLABL: GET THE FUK OUTTA HERE

davepoobond: outta where?

BLACKLABL: MY COUNTRY

davepoobond: which country is that?

davepoobond: Brazil?

davepoobond: 😎

BLACKLABL signed off at 11:12:43 PM.

——————

And then another screen name…

——————

davepoobond: hey. i’m sandy. remember me?

BLACKLABL: shut the FUCK up

davepoobond: why

davepoobond: dont you wanna have a makeover with me?

BLACKLABL: a makeover, what are you talking about you dirty cunt

davepoobond: we go to school! i’m the most popular girl!

davepoobond: i go to the same school as you! dont you remember?

BLACKLABL: really, what school would this be

davepoobond: what school would what be?

davepoobond: i’m sorry, i’m just stupid

davepoobond: can you tell me what school you’re talking about?

BLACKLABL: Engleton?

davepoobond: yeah thats it

BLACKLABL: too bad i just made that up you stupid whore

davepoobond: you said Engleton?

davepoobond: i thought you meant the other school

davepoobond: i went to Engleton for 2 years then went to the school you’re going to right now

BLACKLABL: shut your FUCKING dirty ass cunt

BLACKLABL signed off at 11:37:37 PM.

——————

Another screen name…

——————

davepoobond: are you potty trained?

davepoobond: who let the dogs out?

BLACKLABL: are you a flaming faggot?

BLACKLABL signed off at 11:42:54 PM.

——————

And another screen name.

——————

davepoobond: do you eat boogers?

BLACKLABL signed off at 11:44:26 PM.

#6111: davepoobond -> ccan

davepoobond: SUDAMM HUSSEIN, I PRESUME?

ccan: yes

davepoobond: what is up!?

ccan: may i help you?

ccan: nothing

davepoobond: yes

davepoobond: i’ll tell you how you can help me

ccan: okay

davepoobond: what?

davepoobond: helllllllooooooooooooo

ccan: hellloooooo

davepoobond: wow!

davepoobond: i’m really talking to a man with a moustache!

ccan: do i really have a mustache? i musnt say my identaty or someone can find me and get me in biiigg trouble

davepoobond: ::fart::

davepoobond: what? excuse me?

davepoobond: i couldnt hear you

ccan: u fart?

davepoobond: i FARTED really LOUDLY

davepoobond: boy it smells

davepoobond: get a whiff of it?

davepoobond: all the way there in Iraq

ccan: that wasnt very polite infront of a fanouse person

davepoobond: i know

davepoobond: i dont like fanouse persons though

ccan: oh thats too bad

davepoobond: fanouse

davepoobond: fanouse

davepoobond: hahaha

davepoobond: do u have armpit dandruff?

ccan: no i dont

davepoobond: really

davepoobond: are you just saying that

ccan: no

ccan: m how would u know?

davepoobond: i should know

davepoobond: i live with 7 of them

davepoobond: havent u heard of the 7 dwarves?

davepoobond: er

davepoobond: elves

ccan: ahahah

davepoobond: i eat monkeys and rabbits. loop da loop

davepoobond: there are crackers in my soup

ccan: ok

ccan: hjihjhj

ccan: h

ccan: h

ccan: h

ccan: h

ccan: h

ccan: h

ccan: h

ccan: h

davepoobond: s’cuse me

davepoobond: i dont appreciate that behavior

ccan: hjk

ccan: k;l

ccan: l

ccan: ;lkl

ccan: kllklkll

davepoobond: no

#6109: davepoobond -> babykisses

This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series Do You Eat Boogers?

davepoobond: do you eat boogers?

babykisses: yea

babykisses: y?

davepoobond: really?

babykisses: hehehe

davepoobond: do they taste good?

babykisses: of course

babykisses: yea

babykisses: hell yea

babykisses: im by..

babykisses: whp dis?

babykisses: who dis?

davepoobond: who dis

babykisses: well i dunt know who u r?

babykisses: ur dah one who im meeh

babykisses: der der der

davepoobond: and i dunt know who u r eida

babykisses: duh…

babykisses: huh?

davepoobond: eida

davepoobond: !

davepoobond: either

babykisses: okie

babykisses: i see

babykisses: by ebye

davepoobond: no

babykisses: lates

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: no

babykisses: huh

davepoobond: huh?

babykisses: byeeeeeeeeeeee

davepoobond: hiiiiiiiiiiiiii

babykisses: nooooooooooo

davepoobond: yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah

#6108: davepoobond -> Eating Out Mya

This entry is part 1 of 2 in the series Do You Eat Boogers?

davepoobond: do you eat boogers?

Eating Out Mya: Do you eat cocks?

davepoobond: do you eat boogers?

davepoobond: i asked you first

davepoobond: you answer mine, i’ll answer yours

Eating Out Mya: No.

davepoobond: oh boy, with a period even

davepoobond: thats how i know you’re sincere

Eating Out Mya: Who are you?

davepoobond: davepoobond

davepoobond: the extremely sexy goat

Eating Out Mya: Why did you IM me?

davepoobond: you were in the chat room

davepoobond: i was taking a survey

Eating Out Mya: Ummm

Eating Out Mya: Okay

davepoobond: ok

Eating Out Mya: Well, do you eat cocks?

davepoobond: nope

Eating Out Mya: Okay

#6106: davepoobond -> kiki

This entry is part 10 of 11 in the series Are You Potty Trained?

davepoobond: are you potty trained?

kiki: umm well I thought I was..but I think I am getting on potty trained…why do you ask?

davepoobond: no reason

davepoobond: hahahaha

kiki: hmm well r u a guy or a girl?

davepoobond: guy

kiki: hmm do you eat bannanas?

davepoobond: yep

davepoobond: lots of them

kiki: no wonder you are so weird! you obviously need some peanutbutter..well you came to the right place I am a peanut god

davepoobond: coooooooooooool

kiki: yup so go over there and get some peanutbutter—>

kiki: ————————————–>

kiki: —————>

kiki: got it?

davepoobond: uhhhhhhh

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: no

kiki: good now you will come flying into the clouds and jump on the frogs w/ me?! ok?

davepoobond: yes

davepoobond: i will

kiki: you are the shit dude

kiki: straight from the cat’s ass

davepoobond: mmhmm

kiki: j/k

davepoobond: you are too

davepoobond: right from the baby’s smelly diaper

kiki: hehe

kiki: well I don’t think that I wanna be that shit…baby’s are like pop they are good untill they make you sick then you can’t stand them

davepoobond: yeah and

kiki: exactly

davepoobond: unh hunh

kiki: where do you live and why?

davepoobond: earth, because i was damned

davepoobond: i sleep on a bed of bowling balls

kiki: i sorry you can come sleep on the grass w/ me…but it is snowing but that’s ok we can make snow angles