Q: What starts with “T,” is full of “T,” and ends with “T”?
A: A teapot.
Category Archives: Jokes
The whole Joke archive. Tons of jokes!
Joke #9007
Q: How does a dinosaur come out of a pool?
A: Wet!
Joke #9006
Q: What is a tree’s favorite drink?
A: Root beer.
Joke #9005
Q: What does Christmas have to do with a cat in a desert?
A: They both have sandy claws.
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Another version of this joke:
Q: What do you call a cat that likes to dig in the sand?
A: Sandy Claws!
Joke #9004
Q: Which runs faster, hot or cold?
A: Hot. Everyone can catch a cold.
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Another variation of this joke:
Q: What travels faster in space, heat or cold?
A: Heat. You can catch a cold.
Joke #9003
Q: What did the noodles say to the butter?
A: Don’t try and butter me up.
Joke #9002
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would
like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy
everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he’d like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather
busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl’s parent’s house and meets his girlfriend at the door. “Oh, I’m so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!”
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl’s parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, “I had no idea you were this religious.”
The boy turns, and whispers back, “I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.”
Joke #9001
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
Joke #9000
Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.
Joke #8999
Q: Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%.
A: It’s called a Wedding Cake.
Joke #8998
I married a Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
Joke #8997
Q: What’s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A: A woman who won’t do what she’s told.
Joke #8996
Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
Joke #8995
Q: Why do men fart more than women?
A: Because women can’t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
Joke #8994
Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch?
A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.