Q: Why does a flying saucer never pay a toll on the turnpike?
A: Because the pilot does.
Category Archives: Jokes
The whole Joke archive. Tons of jokes!
Joke #11634
Q: What did the fire hydrant say to the Martian?
A: Are you sure there are no dogs on Mars?
Joke #11633
Q: How can you make a pair of spacesuit pants last?
A: Make the tops first.
Joke #11632
Q: Why would a barber rather give six Earthlings haircuts than one visitor from space?
A: Because he’d get six times as much money, silly!
Joke #11631
Q: What did the hairless creature from space say when he got a comb for a gift?
A: I’ll never part with it.
Joke #11630
Q: What did the Martian say to the gas pump?
A: Take your finger out of your ear and listen to me!
Joke #11629
Q: What are two things a spaceman can never eat for breakfast?
A: Lunch and dinner.
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Another version of this joke:
Q: What are the two things you can never eat for breakfast?
A: Lunch and dinner.
Joke #11627
Q: What did the Martian say when he fell in love with the fire hydrant?
A: I’d like to nozzle up with you.
Joke #11626
Q: What did the first Martian who landed on Earth say to the fire hydrant?
A: Take me to your leader.
Joke #11623
Mother space creature to her son: “Junior! What are you doing?”
Junior space creature: “Chasing this Earthling around a tree”
Mother space creature: “How many times have I told you not to play with your food?”
Joke #11622
Two space creatures attacked Earth and were in the process of devouring Hollywood.
They found a storage vault filled with movie film and began chomping away on a reel of film, each at a different end, working toward each other.
When they met at the middle, the first space creature said, “How’d you like it?”
“Not bad,” said the other. “But I liked the book better.”
Joke #11621
The visitor from space said to the Earthling, “If I had a thousand soldiers, and you have a thousand soldiers, and we had a war, who would win?”
The Earth man said, “I don’t know. I give up.”
And the space man said, “Then I win – you just gave up!”
Joke #11620
Two Martians, new to the ways of Earth, were trying to start a campfire.
First Martian: “This match won’t light.”
Second Martian: “What’s the matter with it?”
First Martian: “I don’t know. It worked just a minute ago.”
Joke #11619
Visitor from space: “I was born on Mars.”
Man from Earth: “Which part?”
Visitor from space: “All of me.”
Joke #11618
Martian (to a new crew member): “Why is it important not to lose your head during an attack on Earth?”
Saucer crew member: “Because then I wouldn’t have a place to put my space helmet.”