The baseball manager rushed out on to the field and yelled at the umpire, “Fred, I’m not really mad at you, but my Mom is in the stand and I want her to see me in action.”
Category Archives: Jokes
The whole Joke archive. Tons of jokes!
Joke #12130
Did you hear about the football player who was so dumb that once he got lost in a huddle?
Joke #12129
A battered and bruised man told his lawyer, “Las night I came home late and my wife hit me with a baseball bat. After she finished hitting me, her four brothers took turns hitting me with the bat. Next, her mother hit me with the baseball bat. Is that legal?”
His lawyer thought a moment, then replied, “Yes and no. Yes, it’s legal for your wife to hit you, but no, it’s not legal to bring in so many pinch hitters.”
Joke #12128
A young kid asked the manager of a baseball team for a tryout before the game. The manager told him to come back when he was older. After the game the kid asked again for a tryout.
The manager yelled, “Look, kid, I told you to come back when you’re older.”
The lad answered, “I am older. I watched your team play and they aged me twelve years.”
Joke #12126
Q: What’s the first thing you have to know in order to try out for a water polo team?
A: How to swim.
Joke #12125
Rumor has it that Grand Canyon was made when Paul Bunyan took up golf and discovered he was a duffer.
Joke #12124
Of course you’ve heard about the athlete who was so short, he could only play handball against the curb.
Joke #12123
Q: What do you get if you cross a polar bear with an ice hockey player?
A: I don’t know, but when it wants to score a goal, no one tries to stop it.
Joke #12122
Q: Did you hear about the golf club that excluded females from its annual tournament?
A: The board of directors claimed that they were terrible drivers.
Joke #12121
Once there was the baseball coach who was so dumb, he thought he needed a boa constrictor to pull off a squeeze play.
Joke #12092
Two soldiers were in a local cafe one day when the first soldier said, “I feel like telling that jerk first sergeant where to go again.”
“What do you mean by again?” asked the other GI.
“I felt like it yesterday too.”
Joke #12091
SERGEANT: “Tell me, soldier, what is the first thing you do when cleaning a rifle?”
PRIVATE: “I take a look at the serial number.”
SERGEANT: “Why do you look at the number, meathead?”
PRIVATE: “To make darn sure I’m cleaning my own rifle.”
Joke #12090
A very wealthy young man was drafted into the Army. When he sat down to his first meal, he took one look at the food on his plate and asked, “Don’t I get any choice?”
The mess sergeant shouted, “Sure you do. Eat it or don’t eat it.”
Joke #12089
A kid was shining shoes when he took a look at a sailor’s size 16 shoes. He yelled to another shoeshine boy, “Hey, Bobby, come over and help me. I just got a Navy contract!”
Joke #12088
Every war makes a soldier change nearly all of his ideas, except his opinions of the officers.