Gossip columnists are the kind of people you can’t believe even when they swear they’re lying.
Category Archives: Jokes
The whole Joke archive. Tons of jokes!
Joke #12878
Did you hear about the judge who got so tipsy at a Halloween party, he couldn’t pick the good guise from the bad guise?
Joke #12877
Two old friends who hadn’t seen each other in years met one day.
The first man asked, “How’s everything, Jimmy?”
His friend answered. “Not so hot. My wife ran off with a vacuum salesman. My son was arrested for stealing cars, and my daughter is in the hospital with two broken legs. Besides that, I’m turning gray, my teeth have to be yanked out tomorrow, and my dog died yesterday.”
His friend shook his head and said, “Golly! That’s very sad. By the way, what business are you in, Jimmy?”
“I sell good luck charms!”
Joke #12876
“Would you wear alligator shoes?”
“Nope. I never wear used clothing.”
Joke #12875
CLERK: “What kinds of nuts would you like, sir?”
CUSTOMER: “Cashew.”
CLERK: “Bless you. Now what kind of nuts would you like?”
Joke #12874
You have to watch out for lawyers who can’t pass the bar… without stopping in for a martini.
Joke #12873
I can tell you how Mr. Webster began his dictionary. One night Noah got into an argument with his wife and one word led to another.
Joke #12872
“It took me so long to learn the ropes at work,” said the clerk, “I ended up hanging myself.”
Joke #12871
Did you hear about the fat man who was so overweight that his wife had to let out his shower curtain?
Joke #12870
A young hillbilly couple went to the state fair and tried the tunnel of love for the first time. After they came out, a friend asked the hillbilly how it was.
“I didn’t like it,” answered the boy. “It was dark and scary and we got soaking wet.”
The friend was confused. “Did the boat leak?” he asked.
The hillbilly looked at him in surprise and said, “There’s a boat?”
Joke #12864
You can always tell which people have short lunch breaks. They’re the ones who sip their soup through straws.
Joke #12863
ACTOR: “I hope the cameraman catches my best side!”
ACTRESS: “What’s that? The back of your head?”
Joke #12862
I heard a story about a husband whose wife was never pleased with any present he bought her. So one Christmas he decided to give her cash as a gift. Naturally, she exchanged it for something else.
Joke #12861
Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? She got married eight times because she wanted to keep recycling husbands.
Joke #12860
“Colonel Lee, you’ve had too many juleps,” scolded Mrs. Lee. “Sir, you’re in no condition to go out.”
“That’s not true,” the Colonel argued. “Dear lady, I’ll have you know that I’m in mint condition.”