“I feed my dog garlic every day.”
“Why do you do that?”
“I want his bark to be worse than his bite.”
Category Archives: Jokes
The whole Joke archive. Tons of jokes!
Joke #13004
Did you hear about the tourist who went to the desert for the first time? He fell down in a mirage and drowned because he couldn’t swim.
Joke #13003
Q: Why did the millionaire change his will?
A: He said he felt like getting some fresh heirs.
Joke #13002
Two scientists found that a male electric eel in a tank was able to communicate with them by means of electrical impulses. The eel’s very first message read, “Put a female eel in my tank.”
Naturally the scientists complied with his request. A few minutes later they got the male eel’s second message. It read, “Dummies! This girl is A.C. and I’m D.C.!”
Joke #13001
It’s always more blessed to give than to receive. Especially if you’re a professional boxer.
Joke #13000
VAGRANT: “If I knew how to make money, I wouldn’t be in jail.”
COUNTERFEITER: “I know how to make money. That’s why I’m in here.”
Joke #12999
AN OLD CIRCUS PROVERB: Never gamble with midgets. They always bet way over their heads.
Joke #12998
Q: What kind of cheese did Mary Queen of Scots eat?
A: Why, Loch Ness Meunster, of course.
Joke #12997
When a farmer returned home from a vacation in Hawaii, his neighbor asked him to describe what a hula dance was like. Naturally the farmer explained the exotic dance in his own simple way. “The dancers put a crop of hay in the front field,” he said, “and they put another crop of hay in the back field. Then when the music starts, they rotate the crops.”
Joke #12996
I learned a trade in the Army, but I haven’t seen many jobs in the papers for men qualified to lead guerrilla attacks.
Joke #12995
Did you ever hear of Amoeba State Prison? It’s so small it only has one cell.
Joke #12994
Two old maids were talking and one asked the other, “What would you like most in a husband — intelligence, wealth or appearance?”
The other spinster quickly replied, “Appearance. And the sooner the better.”
Joke #12993
Q: Do you know how to crush an orange?
A: Tell it you don’t love it anymore.
Joke #12992
“I’ll bet you’re so dumb, you don’t even know that water always runs downhill.”
“You’re right. I didn’t even know it could walk.”
Joke #12991
Epitaph on a gentleman’s tombstone: “Pardon me for not rising when you came in.”