If money talks, then my wife is Fort Knox.
Category Archives: (C) Misogyny Jokes
Joke #12361
My wife never has to wash dishes after dinner. Her cooking dissolves the china.
Joke #12360
A woman’s work is never done. And my wife’s housecleaning proves that.
Joke #12359
I wouldn’t trade my wife for anything in the world. Take her free of charge.
Joke #12358
WIFE: “Oh, dear, I’m sorry but the dog ate the chicken I made for your dinner.”
HUSBAND: “Don’t cry, dear. I’ll take you down to the pet store and buy you a new dog tomorrow.”
Joke #12357
When I first saw my wife, she turned my head with her looks. Now that we’re married, she turns my stomach with her cooking.
Joke #12355
Two husbands were sitting at the bar swapping complaints. “My wife can cook, but doesn’t,” sighed one man.
“Don’t feel bad,” replied the other husband. “My wife can’t cook, but does.”
Joke #12322
JUDGE: “Your wife says you beat her up every night. She claims you come home mad and hit her with rights and lefts. Is that true, Mr. Henkly?”
HENKLY: “Don’t believe her, Judge. She’s punch drunk.”
Joke #12309
JUDGE: “Tell the court how old you are, Ma’am.”
LADY: “21 years and some months.”
JUDGE: “How many months? Remember you’re under oath.”
LADY: “127 months.”
Joke #12289
Doctors have recently discovered that the major cause of headaches to men and women in the United States is marriage.
Joke #12169
I’m so henpecked, I’d have to ask my wife’s permission to kill myself.
Joke #12158
“Seaman Smith,” said the captain, “we’ve been at sea for six months and now we’re in home port. Everyone has left the ship, but you. What’s wrong? Are you the only crewman who doesn’t have a wife in port?”
“It’s the other way around, Captain,” said the seaman. “I’m the only crewman who’s got a wife in port.”
Joke #12122
Q: Did you hear about the golf club that excluded females from its annual tournament?
A: The board of directors claimed that they were terrible drivers.
Joke #12084
REPORTER (to general): “What about this weapon you have? Can you tell us about it?”
GENERAL: “It’s the X-nine machine gun. it shoots a hundred rounds a minute, which is faster than my wife can talk.”
Joke #12068
I joined the WAVES because I didn’t want to be an ordinary housewife and what happened? I ended up peeling potatoes and scrubbing decks.