These are modern times. Girls no longer marry men for money. They marry them for charge accounts.
Category Archives: (C) Misogyny Jokes
Joke #12491
A young man wanted to marry a comedian’s daughter. “Sir,” said the young man, “may I have your daughter for my wife?”
The comic, a widower for many years, replied, “If your wife can cook and clean house, it’s a deal.”
Joke #12488
“You’re very beautiful,” the boss said to the new secretary. “I’ll bet a lot of men ask you for dates.”
The girl smiled sweetly and replied, “Yes, but I don’t go out with anyone I find unattractive. I let them down nicely by telling them I’m married.”
The boss nodded. “That makes sense. Say, are you busy Saturday night?”
“Yes,” she answered, “I’m getting married.”
Joke #12474
Just once, I’d like to meet an honest man who responds to a question about his marital status by saying, “I’ve been an unhappily married man for ten years.”
Joke #12426
“Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”
“Simple. I married the wrong person.”
Joke #12425
My husband keeps me on a strict allowance… fifty words a day!
Joke #12420
NEWLYWED HUSBAND: “Honey, tomorrow I plan to shoot some dice if it’s all right with you?”
NEWLYWED WIFE: “It’s okay with me, but don’t bring any home. I don’t know the first thing about cooking them.”
Joke #12419
A TV rating outfit recently called a sample of the male population in New York and asked, “Who are you listening to at this time?”
Of the respondents, .995 percent answered, “My wife.”
Joke #12418
Q: Do you know what keeps the average married man from buying a color TV set?
A: …Reading the price tag in black and white.
Joke #12417
Mother to her teenaged daughter: “Are you going steady now?”
“Yes, I am, Mom. On Tuesday with Mike, Wednesday with Jimmy, Thursday with Frankie…”
Joke #12414
My wife is a terrible cook. You could use her spaghetti to play tug of war!
Joke #12408
“The brakes are gone!” cried the wife. “I can’t stop the car. What should I do?”
Her husband beside her in the front seat said, “Keep calm and look for a cheap economy car.”
“Why bother to look for a cheap economy car?” she asked.
“Do you think I’m going to let you stop by crashing into a brand new luxury car?”
Joke #12407
Bachelors, man was not meant to live alone. So get a dog.
Joke #12404
Is my wife healthy? Well the answer is yes and no. Her heart is in bad shape from lack of exercise. And her tongue is in great shape from too much!
Joke #12403
My wife thinks she works for the F.B.I. She always has her nose in other people’s business.