FIRST NUT: “I bet if I turn this flashlight on, you can’t climb up the beam.”
SECOND NUT: “What do you think I am — crazy? I’ll get halfway up and you’ll turn it off.”
Category Archives: (F) Conversational Joke
Joke #11936
MR. BOGGS: “Yesterday, I had to shoot my dog!”
MR. NERPS: “Was he mad?”
MR. BOGGS: “Well, he certainly wasn’t pleased about it.”
Joke #11934
DUMB DAN: “My uncle shot himself two feet above his head.”
SMART SAM: “How could he shoot himself two feet above his head?”
DUMB DAN: “He jumped!”
Joke #11930
WOMAN: “Why did God create Adam first?”
MAN: “To give him a chance to say something.”
Joke #11926
WOMAN: “Joe is a considerate husband. he takes his wife out to eat almost every night.”
MAN: “Considerate? Baloney! Joe’s wife is the world’s worst cook.”
Joke #11925
OVERHEARD: “My aunt’s diet is a strange one. She only eats bananas and coconuts. She hasn’t lost any pounds, but wow, you should see that woman climb trees!”
Joke #11923
MAN: “I always win at cards and lose at the race track.”
LADY: “Why is that?”
MAN: “Because I don’t get to shuffle the horses.”
Joke #11920
Receptionist: Hello? Dr. Sickman’s office. May I help you?
Caller: Yes! I feel funny. What should I do?
Receptionist: Try to get on television.
Joke #11782
Bingo: Hello? Bingo’s Restaurant.
Ringo: Hello! I’d like to know, do you serve crabs?
Bingo: We serve anyone, sir! Come on in!
Joke #11781
Bingo: Hello? Bingo’s Restaurant.
Ringo: Hello! Tell me, does your chef have pig’s feet?
Bingo: I can’t tell, sir. He’s got his shoes on!
Joke #11780
Caller: Operator! Operator! I need you to connect me with someone in my diet support group! I feel hungry but I don’t want to eat!
Operator: I was hungry, too, but after talking to you, I’m fed up!
Joke #11776
Caller: Finally! I got through! I’ve been trying to call the zoo for hours!
Zookeeper: Yes, all our lions were busy.
Joke #11775
Q: What animals talk on the telephone the most?
A: The yakety-yaks!
Joke #11774
Caller: My goodness, Operator! Your nose is so stuffed up, I can’t understand you. You should really take something for that cold.
Operator: Good Idea. I’ll take the rest of the day off!
Joke #11773
Caller: Operator! Operator! Can you understand me? I’m chewing on a pancake while I talk to you.
Operator: Oh, how waffle!