Category Archives: Guides

Helpful PHP Guide

Nobody likes frames. But if you’re not using frames, you have to update every page of your site every time you modify your menu. Don’t you wish there was another way? Well, there is. Simple PHP includes allow you to create a professional, frameless site without too much work. Want to learn how? Read on…

PHP includes are very simple and really practical. How they are used is they allow you to use one line of code in every page that you want your menu on in place of say 30 – 50. Also, you never have to edit this code once it’s there, you can just edit your menu file. They work by taking all the content of a file and putting it into the file being viewed at the location where the INCLUDE tag is.
I’ll start off by teaching you how to create a basic site that uses a menu in tables. Run Notepad and create a file for your menu, in a table. It might look something like this:

<table border=0 bordercolor=”black” cellspacing=0 cellpadding=0 width=780
height=100%>
<tr>
<td width=100 valign=”top”>
<img src=”main.jpg”><br><Br>
<a href=”index.php”>News/Home</a><Br>
<a href=”index.php?page=stuff”>Stuff</a><Br>
Blah<Br>
Blah<Br>
Blah<Br>
Blah<Br>
Blah<Br>
Blah<Br>
</td>

Make sure that you do not close the table!! Now save this file as menu.php and start a new one. It’ll have the code for you main page. It should look something like this:

<? include(“menu.php”) ?>
<td width=580 valign=top>
<?
if(!$page) {
include(“http://www.hobbiton.org/~zeroone/test/news.txt”);
}<Br>
else{
include(“http://www.hobbiton.org/~zeroone/test/files/” . “$page” . “.php”);
}<Br>
?><Br>
</td>
</tr>
</table>

There are two vital things you should notice here. First, we have the <? include(“menu.php”) ?>. This tells the computer to include the menu file. The second thing is this code:

<?
if(!$page) {
include(“http://www.hobbiton.org/~zeroone/test/news.txt”);<Br>
}<Br>
else{
include(“http://www.hobbiton.org/~zeroone/test/files/” . “$page” . “.php”);
}
?>

Make sure you change the URLs to URLs on your server. This code tells the computer that if the url is something like “www.yourpage.com/index.php” then it will include the news file, in this case (since I’ve set it to the URL of my test site’s news file).
IF, however, the URL is something like “www.yourpage.com/index.php?page=stuff” then it will change the content of the page to whatever is in the file “stuff.php”. At this point, there is something I should mention. When you have links on a php page, they will be something like “www.yourpage.com/index.php?whatever=pagename” instead of something like “www.yourpage.com/pagename.php”.

This is because the web browser is actually displaying the index file, but it’s including content from another file on the index file. The “whatever=pagename” tells the computer that the variable “whatever” is set to the name of the page, “pagename” in this case. That variable tells what page’s content should be displayed, using the code above.

Next, create another file. Just type some nonsense in it and name it “stuff.php”. In your menu file, make sure you have a link to “stuff.php”. The link should be something like “http://www.yoursite.com/index.php?stuff” because of the reasons I mentioned above.
Now, upload those files and see what it looks like. It SHOULD look a little bit like the site http://www.hobbiton.org/~zeroone/test – please note the server that site is on is going down permanently soon, so you may not be able to access it.

If that all worked out, you’ve got a simple PHP layout. Play with it a bit, and you’ll be able to implement it into your site’s design to make being a webmaster easier. I hope this tutorial was helpful. Please send your comments to me at wipeoutgc@hotmail.com.

How to Preread a Textbook Chapter

1. Read the chapter title. The title provides the overall topic of the chapter.

2. Read the chapter subtitle (if included). The subtitle suggests the specific focus or approach to the topic of the chapter.

3. Read any focus questions at the beginning of the chapter. These questions indicate what is very important in the chapter. They are meant to guide your reading and help you be on the lookout for their answers.

4. Read the chapter introduction or first paragraph. The introduction, or first paragraph if there is no introduction, serves as a lead-in to the chapter. It gives you an idea of where the material is starting and where it is heading.

5. Read each boldface subheading. The boldface subheading will give you an idea of the major topic of the following chapter sections.

6. Read the first (topic) sentence of each paragraph. The first sentence often tells you what the paragraph is about or states the central thought. However, be aware that in some material the first sentence may instead function as an attention getter or transition statement. In this case, go on to the second sentence to try to determine the main idea of the paragraph.

7. Look over any typographical aids. Notice important chapter terms that are emphasized by being written in slanted italic type or in dark boldface type; often a definition or an example of a new key term follows.

8. Look over any other visual aids. Notice any material that is numbered 1, 2, 3, lettered a, b, c, or presented in list form. Graphs, charts, pictures, diagrams, and maps are other means of emphasis and are usually included to point out what is important in the chapter.

9. Read the last paragraph or summary. The last paragraph or summary gives a considered view of the chapter and helps you identify important ideas. Often the summary outlines the chapter’s main points.

10. Read quickly any end-of-chapter material. If there are study questions, read through them quickly since they will indicate what is important in the chapter. If a vocabulary list is included, skim through the list rapidly to identify terms you will need to learn as you read.

davepoobond: in conclusion, this takes longer than reading the whole chapter anyway, so just read the chapter and forget about prereading…

How to Get “the Signature” of the Road

1. Get into a car, but have someone else drive it

2. hold a pencil to a piece of paper that is reinforced by something

3. As you go along let the pencil move as the road gets bumpy or whatever. You have to hold the pencil lightly enough that it’ll write but move when there are bumps or whatever

4. There. You have the signature of the road! Label it, and save it, or burn it…we don’t care.

Guide to Scandisk & Defrag for Windows 9x

If your system is running slower than usual you might need to run these built-in Windows utilities: ScanDisk and Disk Defragmenter. ScanDisk checks your hard drive for errors and fixes them if it finds any, and Disk Defragmenter arranges file data so that it can be efficiently accessed when you need it.

Before you run these utilities, do the following:

1. Close AOL, PowerTools, and any other open applications.

2. During defragmentation, disk Defragmenter must restart each time other programs write to the disk. Therefore, be sure that no programs are running. Press CTRL + ALT + DEL one time to bring up the Close Programs list. Highlight each program listed there, except for Explorer and Systray, and click End Task. (These programs will automatically be reloaded when you reboot your computer.)

3. Empty your Recycle Bin.

4. While these utilities are running, don’t try to do any other computing functions; this may interfere with the process.

 


ScanDisk

Run ScanDisk anytime your computer goes down improperly (like a power outage), when you are thrown offline, when you get GPF or IPG error messages, and when you accidentally shut down your computer without closing programs. Running ScanDisk immediately after such problems can locate and repair problems and may prevent severe damage to good programs and data later. Because errors like crosslinked files can grow in magnitude, early corrective action is best. Always run ScanDisk before you run the Disk Defragmenter.

 

1. On your Windows95/98 Taskbar, click the START button, then highlight Programs > Accessories > System Tools > ScanDisk icon.

2. Select the drive you want to scan, usually C: If you are running programs on other drives, you may need to scan more than one drive. For Type of Test, select Standard, and put a check in the Automatically Fix Errors box.

3. Click Start and wait for the process to end. You should run a ScanDisk every time you get error messages that force you to close AOL and PowerTools.

 


Defragmenter

Defragmenter will put files and folders back into continuous units. This will improve hard disk performance, and increase the available free space (so you can save more data). Even if your system does an automatic defrag using the Scheduler, we recommend a manual defragmentation at least once or twice a week. When Disk Defragmenter is run on the Scheduler, Windows samples the drive first, and ONLY runs if fragmentation is high on that sample (which may not accurately reflect how fragmented the rest of the drive is). Running Defrag manually will remove all fragmentation without relying on a sample, thus ensuring a proper defrag.

1. On your Windows95 Taskbar, click on the Windows START button, then highlight Programs > Accessories > System Tools > Disk Defragmenter icon.

2. You will then be asked to select a drive, select your C: drive, then click OK. You may get a message saying you do not need to defrag your hard disk at this time. If the disk is more than 1% fragmented, run Defragmenter anyway. NOTE: If your hard drive is partitioned into more than one drive, you should do this process for all drives.

3. Win 98: Click the Settings button, then make sure Check the drive for errors is selected. If you choose “Rearrange program files so my programs start faster,” defrag will take much longer to complete. That option isn’t necessary each time you Defrag.

Win95: Click the Advanced button, then select Full Defragmentation. Be sure that Check drive for errors is selected. Also select Save these options and use them every time. Then click OK. [This is the optimal defrag setting for Win95, and we recommend using this each time you defrag the hard drive. Once you have these options selected, you will not need to click the Advanced button each time you defrag.] 4. Click OK, then OK (Win98) or START (Win95) When Defragmenter is complete, reboot your computer. When you are online a lot, you should run the Disk Defragmenter every 2-3 days. This will not harm your computer in any way.

 


USING SCANDISK & DEFRAG IN WINDOWS 3.1 Note:

Scandisk and Defrag are available only in DOS ver. 6.0 +. To check your DOS version, go to your C:\ prompt in DOS, type ver, then press ENTER. If your system is running slower than usual you might need to Scandisk and Defrag your hard drive(s). Scandisk checks your hard drive for errors and fixes them if it finds any, and the Defrag program organizes your hard drive so it will operate faster. This is called “defragmenting.” Please follow ALL the directions carefully:

DELETING TEMPORARY FILES

1. Close AOL and PowerTools.

2. Press CTRL + ESC keys to bring up the Task List. Highlight each listing except for Program Manager and click End Task. Repeat until only Program Manager is showing on the Task List.

3. Open File Manager in the Main Group in your Program Manager.

4. Highlight the C:\ at the top in the left window and click on File menu, then Search. At the search window type in: ~*.tmp and click OK. This will search out the temporary files which you can delete by highlighting each and clicking on File menu, the Delete. At the Delete window, say Yes.

5. After you finish removing ~tmp files, Exit File Manager to return back to Program Manager.

6. Close Program Manager: Click File menu, Exit. This will close Windows and put you in the DOS mode at the C:\ prompt.

7. To be absolutely certain that Windows is NOT running, type exit, and press the ENTER key. You should see C:\ once again. If not, you should not use Scandisk/Defrag.

SCANDISK

1. To run Scandisk from DOS at the C:\ prompt, type scandisk and press Enter. Scandisk begins to examine your disk. During this process, scandisk may find files that need to be corrected or are being misreported. If this occurs choose “Fix It” and at the next prompt choose “Skip undo.” If there are more than one file to be fixed, this process will repeat. When complete, choose Exit.

2. When Scandisk finishes, it will ask if you wish to do a surface Scan for bad segments. It is recommended to preform this operation at least twice a month.

DEFRAG

1. Once you return to the C:\ prompt, type defrag c: /f as it appears here. Include the spaces. This will begin the process of defragmentation. CAUTION! This process may take from several minutes to an hour or more, depending on how fragmented your hard drive is and on the speed of your processor. Do NOT turn off the computer during this time. When the process has finished, restart your computer. If you have more than one hard drive, you should perform Scandisk and Defrag on those drives as well. To switch drives: At the C:\ prompt, type the letter of the other drive with a colon and a backslash; for example, D:\, then press ENTER. That will change the drive, and you can repeat the Scandisk and Defrag processes above.

How To Shave Your Ass

It’s real good to employ an electric razor in this area. Less chance of cutting your self in blind areas. And the narrower profile (Braun makes a thin razor) of the cutting head is ideal for getting into the gluttial crevice (butt crack). Use the electric razor first if you plan on also using a disposable razor. Electric razors work best on dry area.

If you’re going to use a disposable razor take a long, warm bath beforehand.

Before applying shaving cream, rinse area with cool water.

Apply shaving cream a few minutes before shaving to soften hairs. Consider using a sensitive product like Coochy Shave or Skintimate.

Be sure to use a sharp blade. You might try using two new blades if you are shaving a large area (no pun intended).

When shaving, stroke an area no more than twice to reduce skin irritation. On the first stroke, go “with the grain” to remove most of the hair, then go “against the grain” for a smooth, close shave.

Be sure to clean the area afterwards with soap and water to reduce the risk of infection. Ideally, give the area a second cleansing using cotton balls and rubbing alcohol.

Some people find daily applying baby powder or talcum powder especially helpful after shaving to keep the area dry and irritation free.

Go as long as possible between shavings to reduce skin irritation.

A great alternative is to use a product such as Nair or Neet. Waxing is possible, but you’ll likely need an assistant. See my instruction pages for these process’.