Category Archives: Stupid IMs

These are the Stupid IMs. They’re stupid, duh. 1 to 1 messaging.

#8519: Lord Of Evil Toast -> hellcells

Lord Of Evil Toast: Hi.

hellcells: howdy

Lord Of Evil Toast: Whats up?

hellcells: not a damn thing just listening to some musak

Lord Of Evil Toast: I am making robot girlfriend.

hellcells: nice picture, a robot gf? y? get a real 1

Lord Of Evil Toast: Nope, real ones sleep around, and take half of your possesions.

hellcells: lmao, i hear ya on dat

Lord Of Evil Toast: What is more important personality or the boob size?

hellcells: dats a good question

hellcells: 4 me it depends, how tall is her?

Lord Of Evil Toast: Shit brb I gotta grab a capaciter for her interface system.

hellcells: lmao

Lord Of Evil Toast: Man this is hell, I am using latex prosthetics for the body.

Lord Of Evil Toast: But the tits are mis shaped.

hellcells: fix em, the tits have to b rite

Lord Of Evil Toast: And I don’t know if her ass hole is gonna be jiz resistant.

hellcells: lmao

hellcells: ur fucking funny

Lord Of Evil Toast: Very important, you don’t wanna be pumpin her ass and have the interior prosthetics rip, or she will end up loose.

Lord Of Evil Toast: And we can’t have that.

hellcells: yeap, no1 likes a loose hole

Lord Of Evil Toast: Exactly.

hellcells: lmao

Lord Of Evil Toast: I am gonna call her Donna 3.0, her bot system is already programed to say fuck me, harder a few moans and yeah give it to me.

hellcells: lmao, how about more big daddy can u make her say dat?

Lord Of Evil Toast: Yeah, I can make her say anything, it just takes time.

hellcells: nice

hellcells: i wanna make a gf now

hellcells: lmao

Lord Of Evil Toast: I have funding, it already costed my sponsors like $50.000 and some odd change.

hellcells: oh yeah?

Lord Of Evil Toast: Yep, and I am not even close to done.

hellcells: so ur making a real robot?

hellcells: i thought u met like online or something

Lord Of Evil Toast: Yep, I even get to test her (alot)!

hellcells: damn, dats sad

Lord Of Evil Toast: She feels pretty real, when I am done she will even have a self lubricating system, she will actually get wet.

hellcells: no way!

Lord Of Evil Toast: Yep, you will prolly have to fill her like once a month.

hellcells: full her? with?

Lord Of Evil Toast: some kinda lube.

Lord Of Evil Toast: I am gonna test her with ky jelly.

Lord Of Evil Toast: When I get to that point.

hellcells: heating ky jelly or reg?

hellcells: =))

Lord Of Evil Toast: What ever the user wants.

hellcells: oh i c

Lord Of Evil Toast: Well, I gotta go, gotta get some sleep, Later.

hellcells: peace out

hellcells: lie i bet ur gonna test ur gf

Lord Of Evil Toast: Nope not now.

Lord Of Evil Toast: see ya.

hellcells: sure, peace out

#8518: Lord Of Evil Toast -> xwishforwingsxx

Lord Of Evil Toast: Hey whats up?

xwishforwingsxx: Hey

Lord Of Evil Toast: What you up 2?

xwishforwingsxx: Not a whole lot

xwishforwingsxx: You?

Lord Of Evil Toast: Bored.

Lord Of Evil Toast: Hey guess what!

xwishforwingsxx: What

Lord Of Evil Toast: I am the lord of evil toast, isn’t that nice?

xwishforwingsxx: lol

xwishforwingsxx: Sure

Lord Of Evil Toast: I sit around in toast hell all day and command my undead toast minions. It’s fun.

Lord Of Evil Toast: Do you like evil toast?

xwishforwingsxx: I can’t tell it apart from regular toast

xwishforwingsxx: So I dunno

Lord Of Evil Toast: Evil toast is way better than regular toast, especially with evil butter, or evil jelly.

xwishforwingsxx: lol, ok

xwishforwingsxx: Well I don’t eat butter

Lord Of Evil Toast: Hey have you ever poopied?

xwishforwingsxx: ..?

Lord Of Evil Toast: Not even evil butter?

xwishforwingsxx: lol, nope

Lord Of Evil Toast: Nope, you never poopied or no you never eat evil butter?

xwishforwingsxx: Never eaten evil butter

Lord Of Evil Toast: So have you ever poopied?

xwishforwingsxx: uh.. sure

Lord Of Evil Toast: It’s fun aint it?

xwishforwingsxx: Not really.

Lord Of Evil Toast: It’s a feeling of accomplishment.

xwishforwingsxx: lol

Lord Of Evil Toast: I gotta do my evil dishes later, sux.

Lord Of Evil Toast: I hate, evil dishes.

Lord Of Evil Toast: You still there?

xwishforwingsxx: Yeah I’m here

Lord Of Evil Toast: You ever been in a potatoe sack race?

xwishforwingsxx: lol, yeah

Lord Of Evil Toast: Awesome aint it? Especially when you eat like 5 hits of acid.

xwishforwingsxx: uh, ok

Lord Of Evil Toast: I need to summon the powers of my evil toast minions, wanna help?

Lord Of Evil Toast: ??

xwishforwingsxx: lol, no thanks

Lord Of Evil Toast: Oh, okay, but you are missing out.

Lord Of Evil Toast: Hopscotch.

xwishforwingsxx: lol

Lord Of Evil Toast: I gots fly skills in hopscotch.

Lord Of Evil Toast: What kinda face do you make when you poopie?

xwishforwingsxx: …

xwishforwingsxx: Weird question

Lord Of Evil Toast: I bet your poopie face looks like this > X-(

xwishforwingsxx: lol

Lord Of Evil Toast: Hey I got an idea, say the first thing that comes to your head.

Lord Of Evil Toast: duh, type not say.

Lord Of Evil Toast: Come on it’s fun.

Lord Of Evil Toast: Hey did you know that paris hilton is a slut?? general evil toast told me that.

xwishforwingsxx: Yeah I knew that

Lord Of Evil Toast: Didn’t you call me a dingleberry 2 days ago?

xwishforwingsxx: Uhh.. nope?

Lord Of Evil Toast: Yeah, it was when I was on the toilet.

Lord Of Evil Toast: remember.

Lord Of Evil Toast: Toilet huh, funny word.

xwishforwingsxx: I didn’t call you a dignleberry

Lord Of Evil Toast: are you sure?

Lord Of Evil Toast: Can I call you Mom?

xwishforwingsxx: umm

xwishforwingsxx: Sure

Lord Of Evil Toast: You can call me a dingleberry if you wanna Mom.

Lord Of Evil Toast: How old are you?

xwishforwingsxx: 17.

Lord Of Evil Toast: lol, I am older than you Mom.

Lord Of Evil Toast: So do you wanna fly to Paris with me?

xwishforwingsxx: I don’t think so

Lord Of Evil Toast: Why, it will be fun.

Lord Of Evil Toast: Ha, I am not gonna go to Paris anyway.

xwishforwingsxx: lol, ok

Lord Of Evil Toast: Well I gotta go, Give me a kiss goodbye.

Lord Of Evil Toast: Come on 1 kiss for the road.

Lord Of Evil Toast: a virtual kiss.

xwishforwingsxx: lol

Lord Of Evil Toast: Is that a yes?

Lord Of Evil Toast: ??

Lord Of Evil Toast: I am virtually too ugly to get a virtual kiss aint I?

Lord Of Evil Toast: ??

Lord Of Evil Toast: Do you like midgets?

xwishforwingsxx: Sure

Lord Of Evil Toast: Cool, so how about my virtual goodbye kiss?

Lord Of Evil Toast: ??

Lord Of Evil Toast:

Lord Of Evil Toast: ?

Lord Of Evil Toast: ??

Lord Of Evil Toast: ?

Lord Of Evil Toast:

Lord Of Evil Toast: ??

Lord Of Evil Toast: Awwwwwwww! your not gonna give me a virtual goodbye kiss ru?

xwishforwingsxx: 😛

Lord Of Evil Toast: Quick tell me what color socks are you wearing.

xwishforwingsxx: They’re pink.

Lord Of Evil Toast: Yay, me too, oh wait no I am not.

xwishforwingsxx: lol

Lord Of Evil Toast: Well I love you mommy I gotta go.

xwishforwingsxx: ok

Lord Of Evil Toast: Bye Bye.

#7888: Lumpy -> davepoobond: The PS3 Theory

The PS3 Theory was a discussion through IM between Lumpy and davepoobond.

——————————–

Lumpy: hey… about PS3… there is something about it in my PSM

davepoobond: what does it say about it

Lumpy: 1000 times more powerful than PS2

davepoobond: wat tgeadkjf

davepoobond: is that all?

Lumpy: it didn’t go into much detail but PS6 or PS7 might have biotechnology

davepoobond: oh man that’ll be cool

Lumpy: yup

davepoobond: it could be like in that movie eXistenZ

davepoobond: have you seen it?

Lumpy: no.. all they have is a pic of a chip

davepoobond: i was talking about the movie

Lumpy: oh… didn’t see that other part

Lumpy: and no

davepoobond: o. its worth watching. its cool

davepoobond: they have this thing called a pod that makes you go into games

Lumpy: sounds like Reboot

davepoobond: no from real life. you plug it into your body a place called a bioport

Lumpy: ah

davepoobond: and you’re actually in the game. you feel and taste and smell and junk, and it hooks up to your spine

Lumpy: whoa

davepoobond: but that was actually inside a game in the movie

Lumpy: I figured

davepoobond: a game inside a game, meaning

davepoobond: it like that

davepoobond: the “actual” game system hooked up to your head i guess, and there was a pad on your hand, and it was in groups, where different people took different parts in the game

Lumpy: interesting

davepoobond: and everyone played the same game

davepoobond: you should rent it

Lumpy: haven’t had much time to rent things

davepoobond: is that all it says about the next ps systems?

Lumpy: yeah

Lumpy: still very much in development and won’t come out for a few years

davepoobond: 2005 i heard

davepoobond: on a forum board

davepoobond: but they’ll pry push it back

Lumpy: to get it right I hope

davepoobond: i think that it’ll be 400 bucks

davepoobond: ps6 and 7 will pry be 1k and more

Lumpy: we will see

davepoobond: wtf is 8 and 9 gonna be. i guess i know what 9 is gonna be like. that’d be funny if 8 attached to your brain by snorting it, and you can play a game at any time, by eating it

Lumpy: maybe

davepoobond: and regular foods had crappy games, and you could keep storing games

davepoobond: “mmh, potato ::eats:: ah man, not another space invaders game. this is a hundred years old”

Lumpy: lol

davepoobond: and if you eat something with food poisoning, you lose games

Lumpy: settle down

davepoobond: “::eats a mushroom:: omg! my final fantasy 23 got deleted! that’s a 600 dollar snort! NOOOOOOOOOOO!”

davepoobond: and you could make your own games, and when you were done with them, you could blow it out of your nose

Lumpy: or out of your ass

davepoobond: that’d be from developers

davepoobond: they’d feed crap to millions of people, and when they crapped it out, they’d sell it off

davepoobond: or have automatic crappers

davepoobond: because by then, who needs to actually crap when you can have something else crap FOR you

davepoobond: this is the future, COMON

Lumpy: future not here yet

davepoobond: well i’m talking about wat it’d be like

Lumpy: I doubt it will be like that

davepoobond: they’ll be so lazy they dont even have to go to the bathroom, they have something else go for them

davepoobond: yepppp

#7652: Bklynzballer -> Holmes

This entry is part 24 of 26 in the series Bklynzballer

This took place on July 25, 2001.

Bklynzballer: why are you suck a d*ck

Bklynzballer: tracy said she wants ure mom….IN BED!……

Holmes: i want your mom

Holmes: in bed

Holmes: shes hot

Bklynzballer: sure…

Bklynzballer: anytime..

Holmes: we’ll trade tommorow

Holmes: k?

Holmes: ben is going to kick your ass

Bklynzballer: sure he is..

Holmes: so is james

Bklynzballer: i fucked ihis ass all night

Holmes: hey: It’s adam and eve not adam and steve

Bklynzballer: thats right

Holmes: your nasty i bet you screwed a dog before too

Bklynzballer: thats right

Bklynzballer: and bens ass

Holmes: how about a half cat and half dog

Bklynzballer: yup

Bklynzballer: catdog

Holmes: which end did you screw

Bklynzballer: i made them staight

Holmes: did you screw the dog or did you screw the cat

Bklynzballer: both

Holmes: which one was first

Holmes: you man whore! i just found out your a nymphomaniac

Holmes: ha you don’t even know what that word means do you

Bklynzballer: thats rite

Holmes: it means your GAY, you hear me? G-A-Y

Holmes: YOUR MOTHER COULDN”T EVEN LOVE YOU, thats how gay you are

#7650: Bklynzballer -> Holmes

This entry is part 22 of 26 in the series Bklynzballer

This took place on July 20, 2001.

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Holmes: keep sending it

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Holmes: once more

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Holmes: come on do it faster

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Holmes: FASTER

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Holmes: slow poke

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Holmes: ugh my granny can type faster then you can

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: ure grannys dead

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Holmes: yeah how embarrasing is that for you

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Holmes: she’s dead and she can type faster then you

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Holmes: zzzz i’m falling asleep between im’s

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Holmes: oh sorry are you still talking?

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

Bklynzballer: cuz u are a fucking fag

(Bklynzballer got booted for IMing too fast)

#7648: Bklynzballer -> davepoobond

This entry is part 20 of 26 in the series Bklynzballer

This took place on July 12, 2001.

Bklynzballer: hey jason its tracy im at mikes house

davepoobond: oh. hi

davepoobond: how’s it goin?

Bklynzballer: good you?

davepoobond: all right.

Bklynzballer: mike is at the the bathroom

Bklynzballer: dont tell him but he has a small dick

davepoobond: oh. whats he doing

Bklynzballer: jerking

davepoobond: ha

Bklynzballer: lol..

Bklynzballer: but i gave him good sex

davepoobond: thats nice

davepoobond: dont you have your own sn that you go on?

Bklynzballer: yea but i wanted to talk mikes peepz

davepoobond: oh

davepoobond: he still in the bathroom?

Bklynzballer: yup…

Bklynzballer: now i smell crap

davepoobond: dumps dont take that long, unless you havent taken one for 3 months

Bklynzballer: oo

Bklynzballer: i think thats wut happened

davepoobond: impossible

davepoobond: he would have exploded by the time he got to the bathroom today

Bklynzballer: ok hes out

davepoobond: ok

#7647: Bklynzballer -> Holmes

This entry is part 19 of 26 in the series Bklynzballer

This took place on July 12, 2001.

Bklynzballer: did u see me in school>?

Holmes: yes

Bklynzballer: i started a riot

Bklynzballer: mike…i think your hott…

Holmes: o

Bklynzballer: <—tracy

Bklynzballer: u have a tight butt

Bklynzballer: hows my butt?

Holmes: no comment

Bklynzballer: this is tracy not mike

Bklynzballer: im at miikes house

Holmes: oh

Holmes: i see

Bklynzballer: i know what u sed about me

Holmes: i thought you were talking to mike

Bklynzballer: u said i have a ass like a mule

Bklynzballer: even though mike thinks too

Holmes: yea

Bklynzballer: want a blow job>?

Bklynzballer: MIKE DOESNT CARE

Bklynzballer: hes in the bathroom now

Holmes: umm

Holmes: my moms right behind me

Holmes: thanks alot

Bklynzballer: no prob..

Bklynzballer: so u want or not?

Holmes: yeah come over my house

Holmes: NOW

Holmes: NOW

Bklynzballer: i want you to pork me like a dogg

Bklynzballer: woof woof.

Bklynzballer: mikes taking a shit

Holmes: did you pork him

Holmes: up the butt?

Bklynzballer: yup

Bklynzballer: he gott my butt

Bklynzballer: but keep it between me and you

Bklynzballer: he has a small dick

Bklynzballer: 6 inches

Bklynzballer: i hope u have bettr

Holmes: 15 inches

Bklynzballer: k..much better

Bklynzballer: mike was scared to f*** me

Holmes: ha

Holmes: jmikes such a pussy

Holmes: he’s so fucking gay

Bklynzballer: i told him i dont like rubber

Bklynzballer: hes like well i dunt want a baby

Holmes: i heard his dad raped him when he was young

Bklynzballer: yea ,,,its true.

Bklynzballer: i fucked his dad

Holmes: and his dad made him bend over while he spanked him

Bklynzballer: lol…seriously…

Bklynzballer: dont tell his mom..

Bklynzballer: im gunna fuck u like a hot dog

Bklynzballer: ask ure mom if she wants sumz?

Holmes: umm

Holmes: ok

Holmes: i’ll ask her

Bklynzballer: ok

Holmes: she said yes

Bklynzballer: sure my pleasure

Holmes: your a whore

Bklynzballer: exactly

Holmes: can i pay you 20 bucks to screw a shrew

Bklynzballer: sure

Holmes: ok

Holmes: screw one

Holmes: take pictures and send them to me

Holmes: well?

Holmes: any pictures yet?

Holmes: well?

Holmes: COME ON

Holmes: SCREW THAT SHREW GOOD

#7643: Bklynzballer -> davepoobond

This entry is part 15 of 26 in the series Bklynzballer

This took place on July 8, 2001.

Bklynzballer: so…did u die?

Bklynzballer: i want the secret stash

Bklynzballer: hehehehe

davepoobond: nope, sorry

davepoobond: i’m still alive

Bklynzballer: we have to work together my man

Bklynzballer: just answer me this am i black or white?

davepoobond: you know

#7642: Bklynzballer -> Holmes

This entry is part 14 of 26 in the series Bklynzballer

This took place on July 8, 2001

Bklynzballer: wer u in school?

Holmes: no

Holmes: i smoked up

Holmes: shot up

Holmes: drank up

Holmes: and sniffed up

Holmes: oh man

Holmes: i’m wasted

Holmes: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Holmes: gghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Holmes: why is the sky spinning

Holmes: whos talking!

Holmes: WHAT THE HECK IS THE ELEPHANT DOING IN MY PANTS

Holmes: OMG it’s the milkman coming back to haunt me!

Holmes: THE BOOGIE MAN WANTS MY BRAINS

#7641: Bklynzballer -> davepoobond

This entry is part 13 of 26 in the series Bklynzballer

This took place on July 8, 2001.

Bklynzballer: u wer in school today

davepoobond: yeah so?

Bklynzballer: am i black?

davepoobond: ….

davepoobond: do you not know?

Bklynzballer: nope…

Bklynzballer: u must tell me

Bklynzballer: am i black or white….answer me

davepoobond: why?

davepoobond: you KNOW what you are

Bklynzballer: answer me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

davepoobond: i’m not gonna answer such a stupid question

Bklynzballer: if u dont answer uree gay

davepoobond: thats not possible

#7640: Bklynzballer -> MyLeftTesticle

This entry is part 12 of 26 in the series Bklynzballer

This took place on July 8, 2001.

Bklynzballer: this is mike

MyLeftTesticle: Hi Mike.

Bklynzballer: hey….yesterday u made fun of me

MyLeftTesticle: When?

Bklynzballer: yesterday

MyLeftTesticle: I don’t remember yesterday. All I remember was smoking a bowl and…Watching some TV.

#7639: Bklynzballer -> Holmes

This entry is part 11 of 26 in the series Bklynzballer

This took place on July 8, 2001.

Bklynzballer: so wer not friends

Holmes: yeah we are that wa smy friend before

Bklynzballer: oo

Bklynzballer: i didnt see u today

Holmes: yeah

Holmes: you know how it is

Holmes: ,marijuana and drugs get to your head

Holmes: so you skip school

Bklynzballer: yup

Bklynzballer: son…tracy gave me head this morning

Holmes: and do the macarena without pants in your living room listening to ricky martin and blasting it on loud making wierd funny noises, you know what i mean?

Holmes: she did? wow

Bklynzballer: really

Bklynzballer: then i dumped her

Holmes: wow

Holmes: that sucks

Bklynzballer: ben is getting jumped

Holmes: O.o

Holmes: cooool

Holmes: thats so col

Holmes: cool*

Bklynzballer: im gunna kick his fucking asss

Holmes: ouch

Bklynzballer: arent u his friend?

Holmes: yeah but friends beat up friends

Bklynzballer: right….like how i beat u up

Holmes: haven’t you heard the circle of friends rules?

Holmes: no

Bklynzballer: im the strongest in our class.

Holmes: uh huh

Bklynzballer: am i black?

Bklynzballer: u hav a pic of me?

Holmes: no

Bklynzballer: am i white?

Holmes: your blackinese

Bklynzballer: no im not

Bklynzballer:

Holmes: fine your really half colombian, half australian and half estupido

Bklynzballer: seriously…

Holmes: estupido is a southern russian town where few people come from

Holmes: i[‘m serious