Category Archives: Stupid IMs

These are the Stupid IMs. They’re stupid, duh. 1 to 1 messaging.

Stupid IMs, Prank IMs, Chat Logs

#23298: chewy17171717 -> davepoobond

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chewy17171717: hahhah i like your profile it matches mine

davepoobond: reallllly

chewy17171717: ya

chewy17171717: isn’t that so cool

chewy17171717: r u from china

davepoobond: definitely

chewy17171717: ?

davepoobond: oh yes i’m chinese

chewy17171717: what part

davepoobond: the place they speak mandarin

chewy17171717: hahah me too

chewy17171717: what part

davepoobond: coool

davepoobond: the place where they sell the fish frying in deep oil

chewy17171717: so what r u doin tonight

davepoobond: i’m going to jack off

davepoobond: what about you

chewy17171717: hey i have a kid in a room

davepoobond: a room?

davepoobond: what do you do with this kid in a room

chewy17171717: no my kid

chewy17171717: i um take care of it

chewy17171717: u perv its my kid

davepoobond: really?

chewy17171717: ok anyway

davepoobond: wait a seconddd

chewy17171717: actually i live in hong konk

chewy17171717: kong

davepoobond: your profile says you’re 14 and you go to catholic school

davepoobond: how can you have a kid

chewy17171717: i did like 3 weeks ago

chewy17171717: i need somone else to help me out

chewy17171717: like a father

davepoobond: and you think you’ll find one online

davepoobond: i getchya

chewy17171717: will u

chewy17171717: no im jk

chewy17171717: her name is Laurel

chewy17171717: i hate catholic skewls

chewy17171717: its so devestating

davepoobond: actually, i wouldn’t mind being your husband

chewy17171717: is your name dave

davepoobond: i’m 42, and have a decent job

davepoobond: yes i am

chewy17171717: really

chewy17171717: ooo u arn’t the pervert in the 17 magazine

chewy17171717: r u

davepoobond: no. i think he’s my cousin though

davepoobond: i’m a subscriber to it

davepoobond: i get every issue

chewy17171717: really have u read the recent one

davepoobond: i usually jack off to it everyday at 7:36 PM

davepoobond: no i haven’t

chewy17171717: what r the magazines about

davepoobond: i was going to open it at 7:33:23 to look through it

davepoobond: i dont know, i dont read the articles

davepoobond: there’s just stupid topics about stupid kids

davepoobond: i dont like them, i just fuck them

davepoobond: oops did i just say that

davepoobond: oh well

chewy17171717: hey im one those kids

chewy17171717: oo would u like to fuck me

davepoobond: well then, there goes by parole

davepoobond: sure

chewy17171717: your 42 and a redneck

chewy17171717: great

chewy17171717: what i always wanted

davepoobond: who says i’m a redneck?

chewy17171717: my name is Brigid

chewy17171717: i do

chewy17171717: sob

davepoobond: your profile says you’re julie

chewy17171717: jk

chewy17171717: hahah

chewy17171717: my bitch is fuckin me

davepoobond: oh no

chewy17171717: thats my friends name im spendin

chewy17171717: hahah jk

chewy17171717: so u must be one of those perverts arnt u

davepoobond: sure

chewy17171717: u guys r the ppl who did this to me

davepoobond: sowwy

chewy17171717: stop talken to me

davepoobond: i thought you wanted to fuck

davepoobond: you fuck

chewy17171717: um no

chewy17171717: excuse me but my daughter is to young

chewy17171717: u should no better

chewy17171717: u young kids should be thinking about skewl not girls

davepoobond: how old is she

chewy17171717: 9

davepoobond: so you had a baby when you were 5

chewy17171717: i think u would know better than that

chewy17171717: no this is the mother of the girl u just talked to

chewy17171717: so i said good day

–

Just then I get warned “anonymously.”

–

davepoobond: and then what did i say

Previous message was not received by chewy17171717 because of error: User chewy17171717 is not available.

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#23297: davepoobond -> xWiLdCoWgUrL4Ux

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davepoobond: wow

davepoobond: you’re pretty wild

xWiLdCoWgUrL4Ux: shutup

davepoobond: so harsh

xWiLdCoWgUrL4Ux: what

davepoobond: what you

xWiLdCoWgUrL4Ux: why am i harsh

davepoobond: you told me to shut up

xWiLdCoWgUrL4Ux: shutup

xWiLdCoWgUrL4Ux: fag

xWiLdCoWgUrL4Ux: buh bye

davepoobond: you’ve got some balls to call me a fag

davepoobond: you fag

davepoobond: are you excited about “World Idol”?

–

She warns me to 35%, and I warn her to 35%.

Stupid IMs

#23110: condemnedgirly705 -> davepoobond

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condemnedgirly705: Was up there…

davepoobond: oh hai how r u

condemnedgirly705: Hey 🙂 do we know each other?

davepoobond: idk do we????

condemnedgirly705: lol its ok I was just looking for someone to chat with and it said you were online, I hope you don’t mind chatting with a bored single 23/f ? 🙂

davepoobond: oh really??????

condemnedgirly705: mmmhmmm <3

davepoobond: do you like to go to the park???

condemnedgirly705: yea and i’ll do whatever you want me to do…

davepoobond: like what???

condemnedgirly705: so..What kinda girls you in to? Are you in to BIG TITS or a BIG BOOTY? ;)~

davepoobond: what is that???

condemnedgirly705: lol.. I have a lot of both!! 😉 I have some free time now my roommate went out…I guess I love to tease 😉 Wanna see? its up to u…im in the mood lol

davepoobond: you are making no sense?!??!?!

condemnedgirly705: Ok… let me set my cam up and I’ll show u my booty shaking skillz ..tell me if u like it ok ? LOL.. brb

davepoobond: u r crzy

condemnedgirly705: Ok, click here and it will bring u to my private 1on1 chat..There’s a few pix of me in there, click the “Accept Invite” to the left, then register and it’ll take you straight to my webcam, I’m there now.. 😉

Stupid IMs

WoW Chat #23108: davepoobond -> Amyrista

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Amyrista is still trying to sell the recruit-a-friend mount in Trade Chat.

–

davepoobond: ill buy it

Amyrista: hi:)

davepoobond: hello

Amyrista: hello how are u 🙂

davepoobond: lol good u

Amyrista: hehe i am great too:D

Amyrista: so u want buy that mount right 🙂

davepoobond: do u have it now

Amyrista: yes dear 🙂 u can get it in 5 mins

davepoobond: ok cod it to me

Amyrista: but u know that is RAF mount:) so u will send an email and name to me and i can make it done for u in 5 mins 🙂

davepoobond: lol what is a that

Amyrista: RAF is recruit a friend mount dear 🙂

davepoobond: how does that work

Amyrista: oh just like i said dear :)i will send u an email and name that u can send invitation then i can make it for u ,it will be done in 5 mins 🙂

Amyrista: and u can get it in [battle.net] and it shows linked

Amyrista: u can claim it

Amyrista: and then u can get it in wow game mail box:)

davepoobond: i dont understand

Amyrista: it’s very easy dear

Amyrista: i will tell u  how to do each steps 🙂

davepoobond: i dont have any stairs lol

Amyrista: hehe stairs?

davepoobond: yeah u said steps lol

Amyrista: ah haha sorry i mean i will tell u how to do it 🙂

davepoobond: do what

Amyrista: so u can understand that ^^

Amyrista: but i usually charge 5k first and after u got the mount pay me another 5k 🙂

Amyrista: i sell 10more nightwing each day 🙂 so dont worry

davepoobond: can i ask u a question

Amyrista: yes 🙂

davepoobond: r u married

Amyrista: nope .i am 24

Amyrista: havent married yet

davepoobond: y not?

Amyrista: yea,why?

davepoobond: y rnt u married?

Amyrista: why i need to married right now ?:P

Amyrista: hehe

Amyrista: i will but maybe 1-2 years later

davepoobond: dont u have a boyfriend

Amyrista: i have a bf 🙂 u have GF too right ?:)

davepoobond: no 🙁 i am lonely

davepoobond: what do u do with ur boyfriend

Amyrista: hehe if u buy a nightwing i will tell u

Amyrista: so u want the nightwing right 🙂

davepoobond: lol do u ride the nightwing with ur bf

Amyrista: hehe i can turn into a nightwing and riden by BF

Amyrista: hehe if u like to buy a nightwing and turn into it let me ride on ?:)

Amyrista: take me around

Amyrista: 😀

davepoobond: lol u turn into nightwing in real life??

Amyrista: lol i wish

davepoobond: +

Amyrista: if u really like to buy it or just like chatting with me ?

davepoobond: i just like chatting 🙁

davepoobond: u r nice

Amyrista: hehe but i need to do business it if dont want it i can’t chat with u anymore

davepoobond: so u r not nice?

Stupid IMs, Prank IMs, Chat Logs

WoW Chat #23105: davepoobond -> Woody

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Woody is trying to sell a guild in trade chat.

–

davepoobond:  how much is it

Woody:  50k

Woody:  wanna buy it

davepoobond:  trying to convince a friend

davepoobond:  i don’t think he wants it even though he founded it

Woody:  50k and you have a level 25 guild all to your self

Woody:  its worth it

Woody:  whats your buddys name?

davepoobond:  he’s raiding right now

Woody:  do you wanna buy it?

davepoobond:  nope

Woody:  shit

Woody:  I see what you did there ;D

davepoobond:  you do?

davepoobond:  what’d i do

Woody:  woops wrong person but ill go 45k if you buiy it now’

davepoobond:  how many tabs

Woody:  3

Woody:  with active guild

davepoobond:  hmmm

davepoobond:  are there any girls in the guild

Woody:  yeah 1

davepoobond:  does she put out

Woody:  2

Woody:  and put out>”

Woody:  ?

davepoobond:  what are their cup sizes

Woody:  lol omg

Woody:  want it or not

davepoobond:  how many are going to stay after i buy the guild

Woody:  everyone but 3

Woody:  2 forsure

Woody:  my brothers

davepoobond:  how many of the girls are in that 3

Woody:  none lmao

davepoobond:  what items are in the guild bank

Woody:  herbs gems

Woody:  glyphs

davepoobond:  thats all?

Woody:  mats

davepoobond:  what kind of music do the girls like to listen to

Woody:  dude lol

Woody:  buying it or not

davepoobond:  can i tell you a story

Woody:  sure

davepoobond:  i wasn’t a popular kid in school

davepoobond:  i didn’t have a lot of friends

davepoobond:  if someone asked to take advantage of me, by eating my french fries during lunch

davepoobond:  i was happy because someone was paying attention to me

davepoobond:  one day i got an email full of screen names with all of the girls in the school i went to

davepoobond:  so i IMd each one of them, pretending to be some hot guy with bleached tips on his hair

davepoobond:  and they actually wanted to talk to me for no other reason than my picture

Woody:  is this true>

davepoobond:  it is all true

davepoobond:  what are your thoughts about my story

Woody:  i feel bad

davepoobond:  why do you feel bad

Woody:  because if its true you didn’t deserve it

davepoobond:  i deserve everything i get

Woody:  are you buying the guild or what lol

davepoobond:  i have never known the touch of a woman

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

WoW Chat #23103: davepoobond -> Amyrista

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In Trade Chat, Amyrista was trying to sell a mount…

–

[2] [Amyrista]: WTS Obsidian nightwing 10k!

–

davepoobond: what does it look like

Amyrista: can’t u look at it on google? 😉

davepoobond: what does it look like

Amyrista: come to me u can see it

Amyrista: it just besides me

Amyrista: see it ?

davepoobond: i cant find u

Amyrista: the sw city

davepoobond: i like ur hair

Amyrista: hi

Amyrista: nice to meet u here

davepoobond: lol u r so nice

Amyrista: hehe thx dear

Amyrista: so do u like this mount and get one ?

davepoobond: lol how does it fly

Amyrista: yes it can fly!

Amyrista: u can carry friends too

Amyrista: u can turn in to it and carry friend 🙂

davepoobond: like u? u r my friend right

Amyrista: yes 😀 i would like that

davepoobond: r u a girl in real life

Amyrista: u can buy one and carry me hehe i’s like ride on your back

Amyrista: yes i am 24 years old girl

davepoobond: is ur hair pretty in real life too

Amyrista: hehe my hairl like this in real life

Amyrista: dear do u want get one nightwing ?

davepoobond: can i ask u a question

–

I get a whisper from Cytoplasm, randomly…

Cytoplasm: If you are hesitant about buying the mount, dont be : ).. I just bought one for my brother (Heisenberg) about an hour ago… Amyrista is awesome!

–

Amyrista: hehe see it is flying

Amyrista: yes

davepoobond: do u like me

–

I get another whisper from Cytoplasm…

Cytoplasm: 10k is an amazing deal for this mount. I love it!

–

Amyrista: um..i dont know u much but if i know u more i think u will be a good guy to talk with

davepoobond: what if i told u i am a boy that is a girl

Amyrista: u are a boy right

Amyrista: that’s nice ,coz i am a girl

davepoobond: i am a girl inside, on the outside i am a boy

davepoobond: can i ask u a question

Amyrista: hun …i wanna know if u like this mount and get it with 10k ? u can pay me 5k first and after u got it pay me another 5k

Amyrista: 🙂 ok

davepoobond: how big r ur boobs

davepoobond: i want to get some, but i dont know how big

davepoobond: do u know???

–

I get another whisper from Cytoplasm…

Cytoplasm: If you have the 10k to spare you should buy the nightwing mount. Its a good deal : )

davepoobond: who r u

–

Amyrista: not for sure ,not small lol

Amyrista: but let me ask u a question :0

Amyrista: do u want the nightwing

davepoobond: what is a that

Amyrista: just the mount u see~!

davepoobond: lol

Amyrista: black mount with wings

Amyrista: hehe so ?

Amyrista: so u like to get one

Amyrista: ?

davepoobond: what

Amyrista: if u want to buy a nightwing with 10k from me ?:D

davepoobond: do u have a boyfriend

davepoobond: ?

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

WoW Chat #23076: Gylana -> davepoobond

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People were asking about what mounts the Worgen racial mounts were, and I linked them. IN TRADE, everyone was saying where to get them, which was in Darnassus. Then this guy messages me…

–

Gylana: were do u get that

davepoobond: 10g

Gylana: from where

davepoobond: 10g

Gylana: pay u?w

davepoobond: yes

Gylana: 5 then 5 after u tell me

davepoobond: ok mail me 5 right now

Gylana: meet met at bank

davepoobond: im in a bg!

davepoobond: i cant!

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

WoW Chat #23072: davepoobond -> Destructiva

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In World of Warcraft, Destructiva needed on a piece of green while everyone else greeded — he basically cheated to win the item.

–

davepoobond: grats on the cloth upgrade

Destructiva: What? DId you want those?

davepoobond: no, you needed them, just saying grats since you did

Destructiva: Well perhaps that was because everything popped up at once. Wasn’t intentional.

Destructiva: So if you want them, I’d gladly give them to you to make you quit your bitching.

davepoobond: it was a joke

davepoobond: learn how to take things less seriously

davepoobond: maybe you’ll avoid high blood pressure later in life

Destructiva: Dude, I was joking too. Maybe you should be less carebear

davepoobond: maybe you should be less

davepoobond: predictable

Destructiva: Whatever… you’re just mad, and jealous of my new cloth gloves.

Destructiva: And cool guild name by the way.

davepoobond: thanks 😛 been around for a long time on the server. since vanilla

Destructiva: Oh, I was joking….

davepoobond: jokes are supposed to be funny

Destructiva: Really? Yours wasn’t.

Destructiva: I thougt you liked it that way.

davepoobond: at least there was a punch line

Destructiva: I must have missed that part.

davepoobond: this goes back to the high blood pressure thing

Destructiva: You’re quite the hypocrite, no?

davepoobond: you should eat less salt

Destructiva: So kind of you to be concerned for my health. But you shouldn’t presume things.

davepoobond: well just make sure you dont use that cloth piece cuz ur gunna lose ur 5% agility lol

Destructiva: I’m gonna mail it to you.

davepoobond: i already wear mail

Destructiva: Don’t you have anything better to do?

davepoobond: i dont do requests.

Destructiva: Well I’m growing quite bored with you. Goodbye.

davepoobond: i want to grow old with you

Destructiva is ignoring you.

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#23071: Amuka -> davepoobond

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Amuka: I was told I can get a refund here and I’m not leaving until I get it.

davepoobond: what are you trying to get a refund for, my heart?

Amuka: spleen

davepoobond: no, sir, the spleen is non-refundable

davepoobond: it says right on it

Amuka: I bought it last week and the cashier said I can return it here

davepoobond: the cashier was wrong, and so are you

Amuka: pfft. well, I want to talk to a manager

davepoobond: i am the manager

Amuka: you guys didn’t tell me this is non refundable. how is this fair?

davepoobond: lifes not fair

davepoobond: thats when they told you

Amuka: you know what? forget it. I’m done with this store. you guys are so unprofessional!

Amuka: I am a faculty member and should not be treated this way!

davepoobond: i dont even know why you’re calling a cardboard box behind a bar a store

Amuka: you shut up!

davepoobond: fine with me, i dont get paid to talk to you

Amuka: I’m never coming back. NEVER

davepoobond: good, that would do me a favor