Category Archives: Chat Logs

These are Lame Chats and Stupid IMs

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#8887: Foxyla7716 -> John170

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I found this.

–

What did I doooo?  I was just sitting here with my away message on, which says   “My new friend %N is reading my profile!   %N loves me!  (The ‘%n’ substitutes the message with the viewer’s name)   Suddenly, I get attacked.  Here’s how it went …

Foxyla7716:    u wish
John170:    I sooo do
Foxyla7716:    ha
Foxyla7716:    bye

**Here is when I looked at her webpage…  http://hometown.aol.com/foxyla7716/    It’s viewing pretty much determined the course of the rest of the conversation …

John170:    Note: Oil of Olay, works wonders 🙂
Foxyla7716:    comment,,,,go get some and use it
John170:    I don’t have a shrunken apple head 🙂
Foxyla7716:    your so full of it
Foxyla7716:    like i said,,,,you wish !
Foxyla7716:    bye by
John170:    No, really, it’s ok.
John170:    Bye grammy, write soon

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#8885: fROY132 -> davepoobond

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fROY132: POOOH BALL!

fROY132: holy fuck

davepoobond: waaaaaaaa

fROY132: just kidding

fROY132: lets make love

davepoobond: alright!

davepoobond: love love love

fROY132: love love love

fROY132 love is all you need

fROY132: look i have a penis

fROY132: you’ve got a vagina

fROY132: we’re the perfect pair

fROY132: PERFECT PAIR

davepoobond: love is your air, love is your foodddd, love is your shelterrrr

fROY132: what u talking bout willis?

davepoobond: whatchoo talkin bout willis

davepoobond: you have to have the whatchoo part in it

fROY132: GIVE ME LOVEOVELOVE LOVE CRazy love L

fROY132 signed off at 5:54:39 PM.

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#8881: davepoobond -> ManEatingCarrots

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davepoobond: hey

ManEatingCarrots: Hiya.

davepoobond: whats up

ManEatingCarrots: Yelling at my boyfriend.

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: what’d he do

ManEatingCarrots: Made his ex girlfriend grab his dick..

ManEatingCarrots: My best friend..not to mention.

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: was she his girlfriend when she did it

ManEatingCarrots: NO I WAS!

davepoobond: …you were your brother’s girlfriend?

davepoobond: ohhh you said boyfriend

davepoobond: heh…..heh……..heh…………………….yeap

ManEatingCarrots: Riiiiight

davepoobond: you should dump him and go for the guy that wears tight ass red
jeans

davepoobond: unless he IS the guy that wears tight ass red jeans

ManEatingCarrots: Who wears tight ass red jeans?

davepoobond: there’s this one guy at my school………………he’s pretty
much classified as gay though

davepoobond: his parents dress him

ManEatingCarrots: WTF?!?

ManEatingCarrots: You want me to go out with a fag?

ManEatingCarrots: Oh well… too late.

davepoobond: well fags dont try to pick up on other chicks

davepoobond: just………guys………..

davepoobond: mmh…………….i dont know, whatever

ManEatingCarrots: ::shrugs::

ManEatingCarrots: Bi. Gay. Little diffrence.

davepoobond: did she just grab his shorts or did she reach down his pants

davepoobond: ?

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#8592: SR71 Steve -> mm4526

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SR71 Steve: isn’t nicole hot?

mm4526: YES…Yes she is

SR71 Steve: damn u

SR71 Steve: get ur hands off my bitch

mm4526: Damn u u Gary Coleman hater

mm4526: GARY COLEMAN

SR71 Steve: U saying ur a pony fucker?

mm4526: STop spazzin

mm4526: gee

SR71 Steve: meatloaf

mm4526: my keyboard isnt as saucy as yours

SR71 Steve: blue

mm4526: doo da da dada deh

mm4526: ther coming from u

mm4526: for u*

SR71 Steve: so

SR71 Steve: i have the power of chesse

mm4526: by the time u get that itll be to late

mm4526: ill already be gone

mm4526: to…

SR71 Steve: damn u clark kent!

mm4526: Sweet Home Alabama

mm4526: Yes…Clark Kent

SR71 Steve: so u R the real slim shady

SR71 Steve: !

mm4526: no im not

mm4526: gee

mm4526: dont talk about those apples

SR71 Steve: damn

SR71 Steve: my search continues

SR71 Steve: farwell

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs, Prank IMs

#8591: SR71 Steve -> AndiliciousMe

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SR71 Steve: aa

AndiliciousMe: who is this

SR71 Steve: bob

SR71 Steve: who r u?

AndiliciousMe: how did u ghet me sn

AndiliciousMe: my*

SR71 Steve: from the ghetto

SR71 Steve: how did u get MY sn?

AndiliciousMe: u imed me

AndiliciousMe: who is this

SR71 Steve: ur liying bitch

AndiliciousMe: who the fuck is this

SR71 Steve: BOB GOD DAMN IT!

SR71 Steve: WHO THE HELL R U!?

AndiliciousMe: bob who

SR71 Steve: What’s it to ya

AndiliciousMe: wat skool do u go 2

SR71 Steve: Sunrise

AndiliciousMe: this is daniels friend

SR71 Steve: uh no

AndiliciousMe: bye

SR71 Steve: ok then

AndiliciousMe: ur gay

SR71 Steve: nope, lesbian

AndiliciousMe signed off at 5:10:51 PM.

Chat Logs, Prank IMs, Stupid IMs

#8590: SR71 Steve -> Smileygrl12GHS

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SR71 Steve: hi low

Smileygrl12GHS: hi

SR71 Steve: me annoy u now

SR71 Steve: okies?

Smileygrl12GHS: okkk

SR71 Steve: blue

SR71 Steve: meatloaf

SR71 Steve: aeiou and sometimes y

SR71 Steve: ok, i’m done

Smileygrl12GHS: good

Smileygrl12GHS: pic

Smileygrl12GHS: ? ?

SR71 Steve: u now what

SR71 Steve: i perfer making no sense and bothering u

SR71 Steve: so in that case

SR71 Steve: i have thubs

SR71 Steve: tumbs

SR71 Steve: thumbs

Smileygrl12GHS: asl

SR71 Steve: 483.67/depends/all of the above

Smileygrl12GHS: a/s/l

SR71 Steve: ur mon/cuz/lamp

Smileygrl12GHS: what

SR71 Steve: xatly

Smileygrl12GHS: how old are u

SR71 Steve: chair

SR71 Steve: see how much funner stupidity is?

Smileygrl12GHS: ok whatever bye

SR71 Steve: NOOOOOOOOOOO

SR71 Steve: I must kknow

SR71 Steve: r u the real slim shady?

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#8589: Firestarter -> lizzyakachivis

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Firestarter: hi lo

lizzyakachivis: asl

Firestarter: 483.67/depends/all of the above

lizzyakachivis: what

Firestarter: xatly

lizzyakachivis: k

Firestarter: I must know r u the real slim shady? BUZZ!!!

Firestarter: well

Firestarter: r u?

Firestarter: ANSWER ME!

lizzyakachivis: what i wasn’t paying attention

Firestarter: I must know r u the real slim shady?

lizzyakachivis: yea

Firestarter: I FIGURED THAT MUCH

Firestarter: NOW TELL ME SOMETHING I DONT KNOW

lizzyakachivis: i’m very wil and i’m very sexy

Firestarter: OK

Firestarter: NOW SOMETHING ELSE

lizzyakachivis: and you tell me something i dont know

Firestarter: WELL I OPEN MOUTH KISSED A HORSE ONCE

lizzyakachivis: lol

Firestarter: IM NOT LYING

lizzyakachivis: yea you actually did that

Firestarter: OR DID I?

lizzyakachivis: k

Firestarter: WHAT IS THE WEIRDEST THING YOUVE EVER DONE?

lizzyakachivis: i would have to say that once i humped this guy when he wasn’t looking

lizzyakachivis: it was a dare

Firestarter: U REALLY R A SICK LITTLE FREAK ARENT YOU!?

lizzyakachivis: yep

lizzyakachivis: lol

Firestarter: YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK!

lizzyakachivis: lol

Firestarter: GO AWAY NOW!

lizzyakachivis: k

Firestarter: IM SERIOUS

Firestarter: GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lizzyakachivis: k bye

Firestarter: BYE

Firestarter: SICK FREAK!

lizzyakachivis: k bye

lizzyakachivis: damn

lizzyakachivis: at least i didn’t kiss a fucken horse

Firestarter: UR ON CANDID CAMERA!

lizzyakachivis: k

Firestarter: GO TO WWW.SQUACKLE.COM IT IS ALL ABOUT STUPID POST LIKE THIS YOU WERE CHOSEN AS A RANDOM VICTIM NO HARD FEELINGS K?

lizzyakachivis: k

Firestarter: SORRY IF YOU WERE OFFENDED IN ANY WAY

lizzyakachivis: no i wasn’t

lizzyakachivis: i wasn’t telling the true anyway

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#8588: Firestarter -> kitty

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Firestarter: HI

kitty: hello

kitty: asl?

Firestarter: 3.149526935…../Z/ STILL TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT

kitty: hm?

Firestarter: PI

Firestarter: DO YOU LIKE TO BURN THINGS

Firestarter: ?????

kitty: sure

kitty: weirdo

Firestarter: IM WIERD?

Firestarter: DID YOU JUST INSULT ME OR SOMETHING?

Firestarter: WELL DID YOU? BUZZ!!!

Firestarter: GREAT NOW I M LEFT HERE TO HAVE A CONVER SATION WITH MYSELF

Firestarter: OK

Firestarter: SO HOWS IT GOIN

Firestarter: NOT BAD U/

Firestarter: PRETTY GOOD BUT I HATE THOSE COWARDLY PEOPLE THAT TRY TO INSULT
YOU BUT SUCK AT IT

Firestarter: YEAH AND THEN THEY RUN AWAY AND THINK THEY DID SOMETHING COOL

Firestarter: I HATE THAT

Firestarter: ME TOO

Firestarter: ALL OF YOU THAT DO THAT SUCK!

Firestarter: HELL YEAH

Firestarter: THEY SHOULD DIE OF EBOLA AND BE DIPPED IN FULL SYTRENGH HYDROCHLORIC ACID!

Firestarter: OR HOW BOUT NOT YOU STUPID PSYCHO!

Firestarter: YOU SAY PSYCHO LIKE ITS A BAD THING!

Firestarter: I GUESS YOUR RIGHT

Firestarter: OR I COULD SEE A THERAPIST TO SORT OUT MY SHIZOPHRENIA

Firestarter: WHY

Firestarter: THERAPY IS EXPENSIVE POPPING BUBBLE WRAP IS CHEAP

Firestarter: YOULL SEE

Firestarter: OK THAT SOUNDS WORTH A TRY SEE U LATER

Firestarter: OK BYE

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#8587: Firestarter -> sandygurl

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Firestarter: HI

sandygurl: hi

Firestarter: HOW R U

sandygurl: fine

Firestarter: KOOL

sandygurl: u?

Firestarter: NOT GOOD IM DYSLEXIC SO FORGUVE MT YTPENGI

sandygurl: oh

Firestarter: I M AN INSOMNIAC SO I DONT SLEEP BUT ON RARE OCCASIONS

sandygurl: i have read about people who r dyslexic

Firestarter: I AM ALSO SCHIZOPHRENIC PARANOIA SO THE VOICES SCARE ME AND I CANT EVEN HOLD A NONVIOLENT CONVERSATION WITH MYSELF

Firestarter: IT SUCKS BEING ME

sandygurl: wow

sandygurl: u should love yourself

Firestarter: U R THE FIRST PERSON TO BELIVERK MY

sandygurl: thats sad

Firestarter: I WOULDNT KNOW I DONT EXPERIENCE HUMAN EMOTION SUCH AS SADNESS

Firestarter: WWW.SQUACKLE.COM

sandygurl: whats that?

Firestarter: THESE PEOPLE ARE LIKE ME

Firestarter: BUT NOT AS BAD

Firestarter: THEY ARE PSYCHO

Firestarter: BUT NOT BAD PSYCHO

sandygurl: hey u want me 2 add u 2 my list?u can talk 2 me or just let out all your anger

Firestarter: I WAS JUST JOKING

Firestarter:

Firestarter:

Firestarter: WOW

Firestarter: THAT FELT GOOD

sandygurl: what?

Firestarter: BUT I REALLY M PATANOID AND DYSLEXIC

Firestarter: PARANOID

Firestarter: **

sandygurl: hey can i add u 2 my list?

Firestarter: SORRY IF I LED YOU ON A LITTLE

Firestarter: OK

Firestarter: BY THE WAY ASL?

Firestarter: WHAT IS UR KNICKNAME

Firestarter: THINGY

sandygurl: call me anything

Firestarter: I KNOW “PSYCHO LOVER

Firestarter: OK?

sandygurl: ?

Firestarter: NICK NAME

Firestarter: THING

sandygurl: call me retarded

Firestarter: OK IF YOU WANT

sandygurl: ok

Firestarter: ASL?

sandygurl: i called u bird

Firestarter: OK

Firestarter: ASL?

Firestarter: WELL???

sandygurl: well what?

Firestarter: ASL?

BUZZ!!!

Firestarter: AGE SEX LOCATION?

sandygurl: why?

Firestarter: TO MAKE SURE UR NOT SOME MID FORTIES GUY WITH57 CATS AND ONE NOSTRIL GETTING HIS JOLLIES OFF FOOLIN KIDS

Firestarter: AGE SEX LOCATION? BUZZ!!!

Firestarter: what?

Firestarter: huh?

Firestarter: what?

Firestarter: open the gate!

sandygurl: ?

Firestarter: asl

sandygurl: no

Firestarter: fine!

sandygurl: fine what

Firestarter: i dont know

Firestarter: do you?

sandygurl: no……………..no i dont

Firestarter: ok i g2g any way bye

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#8586: isuck -> Firestarter

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isuck: hey

Firestarter: hi

isuck: hey

isuck: a/s/l

Firestarter: 15 m alcatraz

isuck: 14 f fl

isuck: wheres alcatraz?

Firestarter: san fransisco

isuck: oh

isuck: cool

Firestarter: u cannot track me im using a laptop!

isuck: neither can u

Firestarter: sorry im a bit paranoid

isuck: yes i can tell

Firestarter: really me too!

isuck: yeah so wats up?

Firestarter: the ceiling

isuck: um lol

isuck:

isuck: lalala

Firestarter: doo dee dooo dee do

isuck: dum de lum pipi hehe

Firestarter: goo hum bag joop ee gunk!

isuck: man we’re really bored

Firestarter: yup

isuck: u said it buster

Firestarter: hu hi gum bo

Firestarter: gumbo is good

Firestarter: mmmmmmmmm gumbo

isuck: illl gumbo

Firestarter: i like gumbo

isuck: whats gumbo?

Firestarter: mmmmmmmmmmmm cajun

isuck: illlll

isuck: j/k

isuck: i dont know what that is

Firestarter: stew with shrimp and spicy and good and rice and more good

Firestarter: and other stuff!

lFirestarter: www.squackle.com

Firestarter: www.squackle.com

Firestarter: www.squackle.com

isuck: sounds good

isuck: what is that?

Firestarter: funny stuff

Firestarter: not a porn site

isuck: k i’ll go

Firestarter: y does every 1 think that?

Firestarter: sign up

Firestarter: free and no info giving

isuck: i did think that

isuck: i didnt

isuck: sorry

Firestarter: not even your first name

isuck: ok

Firestarter: mine is ezekiel

isuck: mine is geraldine

Firestarter: no mine is zachariah

isuck: oh

Firestarter: nope it is zeb

isuck: fok whats ur real name???

isuck: ok*

Firestarter: zeb

Firestarter: zeb

Firestarter: zeb

Firestarter: zeb

Firestarter: zeb

isuck: ok zeb

Firestarter: ezekiel didnt i tell you before?!

isuck: no

BUZZ!!!

Firestarter: jk its josh

isuck: omg whats ur real name?

Firestarter: yes really

isuck: ur confusing me

Firestarter: its josh

Firestarter: its josh

Firestarter: its josh

Firestarter: its josh

Firestarter: its josh

isuck: ok josh u better not be lieing

Firestarter: seriously

Firestarter: ok

isuck: ok i trust u

Firestarter: you really shouldn’t

isuck: why?

isuck: not ur real name?

Firestarter: im psycho

isuck: cool

Firestarter: thats why im n alcatraz

isuck: ??

Firestarter: alcatraz is a jail

Firestarter: asylum sorry

isuck: no it aint

Firestarter: y do i have to educate every one to what alcatraz is ?

Firestarter: dont people know their own history

Firestarter: ???

isuck: no im dumb

Firestarter: that makes one of us

isuck: yeah

isuck: i guess

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#8585: MadManWithAnAxe -> masteryoda

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MadManWithAnAxe: shut the fuck up! i need total concentration……

masteryoda: i’m not sayin anything damn!

MadManWithAnAxe: Didn’t you hear me the first time! shut up!

masteryoda: and didn’t you hear me? CAUSE I’M NOT SAYIN SHIT!

MadManWithAnAxe: DUDE, IF YOU DON’T CUT THAT SHIT OUT I’M GONNA HACK AT YOUR
ANKLES WITH A SCREWDRIVER

masteryoda: and i’ll shove that screw driver so far up your ass you’ll bleed
from your mouth

MadManWithAnAxe: I’M GONNA GOUGE OUT YOUR EYES WITH A CLAW HAMMER AND MAKE
LOVE TO THE SOCKETS IF YOU DON’T SHUT THE HELL UP

masteryoda: your weird man

MadManWithAnAxe: i should ask you the same question

masteryoda: what the hell are you on?

MadManWithAnAxe: DON’T EAT ME GRANDPA!

masteryoda: i’m 16 smartass

MadManWithAnAxe: smartass is ssatrams backwards!

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs, Prank IMs

#8584: r carter -> MadManWithAnAxe

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r carter: BYE

MadManWithAnAxe: i once knew a man from nantucket!

r carter: what part of bye don’t u get

r carter: it means your not going to talk to someone for a period of time

MadManWithAnAxe: the e

r carter: so bye

MadManWithAnAxe: see by

MadManWithAnAxe: and bye are different

MadManWithAnAxe: why?

MadManWithAnAxe: why an E

MadManWithAnAxe: why not an A

MadManWithAnAxe: why can’t we say BYA!

MadManWithAnAxe: or BYO

MadManWithAnAxe: or even BYU

MadManWithAnAxe: i don’t get it

r carter: yeah u would think about that kinda thing woudn’t u

MadManWithAnAxe: U U U it’s all about U isn’t it

r carter: NO YOU

MadManWithAnAxe: ME?

r carter: YES

MadManWithAnAxe: or YOU

r carter: NO

MadManWithAnAxe: which you do you mean?

r carter: YOU

MadManWithAnAxe: YOU as in YOU or YOU as in ME

MadManWithAnAxe: ?

r carter: YOU AS N YOU

MadManWithAnAxe: YOU? or ME?

r carter: YOU

r carter: fine

r carter: bye

MadManWithAnAxe: ME?

r carter: yepperz

MadManWithAnAxe: then why didn’t you say so?

r carter: i didn

r carter: did

r carter: like htousand time s

MadManWithAnAxe: no…you said YOU…not ME

MadManWithAnAxe: I’m ME …you’re YOU

r carter: kljefjadfl k;ajsdflkja sdfljl;kdjsf sdafoiweruoia7us rifajsdfklas
fjlasflkjalskdfja8 aoer8792e4857923485wrkjc lfja ljnlksmfl/asdjpdjfskld fkasdjf;

MadManWithAnAxe: not the other way around dumbass

r carter: i am not the dumbass YOU ARE

MadManWithAnAxe: YOU?

r carter: NO

MadManWithAnAxe: then why did you say YOU?

r carter:
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hh

r carter: im not in the mood to think

r carter: see yyyyaaaaaaa

MadManWithAnAxe: YA? ya as in ME or YOU?

r carter: you

MadManWithAnAxe: YOU?

MadManWithAnAxe: or me?

MadManWithAnAxe: Explain things better

r carter: quit asking stupid questions and get the heck away from em

r carter: me

MadManWithAnAxe: ME? or YOU?

MadManWithAnAxe: back away from myself?

MadManWithAnAxe: you’re not making any sense

r carter: YES I AM

MadManWithAnAxe: I as in YOU?

MadManWithAnAxe: I am ME

MadManWithAnAxe: YOU are YOU

MadManWithAnAxe: get it?

Chat Logs, Prank IMs, Stupid IMs

#8581: partlycloudy -> MadManWithAnAxe

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partlycloudy: asl?

MadManWithAnAxe: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?

partlycloudy: i asked ur age sex and location?!?!?!?

partlycloudy: lol

MadManWithAnAxe: don’t lie

MadManWithAnAxe: i know your “type”

partlycloudy: my type huh

partlycloudy: ?

partlycloudy: and what is my “type?

MadManWithAnAxe: don’t tell me what to do, davey

partlycloudy: davey?

partlycloudy: dude im a chick

MadManWithAnAxe: you heard me

partlycloudy: ever met a chick named davey?

MadManWithAnAxe: well….once…but that…that was a long time ago…..

partlycloudy: o really?

MadManWithAnAxe: i really don’t want to talk about it now

MadManWithAnAxe: she was the only one i truly loved

partlycloudy: was it bad?

partlycloudy: really?

partlycloudy: r u bein serious?

MadManWithAnAxe: no….i was just lying to impress you

partlycloudy: really?

MadManWithAnAxe: no….that was also a lie

partlycloudy: well………………..

MadManWithAnAxe: i’m not wearing any pants

partlycloudy: thanks for sharing what about boxers or breifs?

partlycloudy: lol

MadManWithAnAxe: nope…they’re against my religion

partlycloudy: and what realigion what that be i need to convert

MadManWithAnAxe: It’s called ARRRRGGGHHH!!!

partlycloudy: i guess i should look in to that

MadManWithAnAxe: no, it’s a secret

MadManWithAnAxe: you can’t join

MadManWithAnAxe: unless……………..

partlycloudy: unless???????????????

partlycloudy: ……………….

MadManWithAnAxe: UNLESS YOU CAN ANSWER ME THESE QUESTIONS THREE!

partlycloudy: ok lets see what u got

partlycloudy: well……………question #1

MadManWithAnAxe: A TRAIN LEAVES FROM DALLAS AT APPROX. 2:30 IN THE A.M. AT 20 MPH, AT THE SAME TIME ANOTHER TRAIN LEAVES FROM PORTLAND TRAVELING TOWARDS DALLAS AT 30 MPH….WHAT TIME DO THEY MEET?

MadManWithAnAxe: TICK TOCK TICK TOCK

partlycloudy: ??????????

MadManWithAnAxe: GUESS!

partlycloudy: tick

MadManWithAnAxe: correct…..

MadManWithAnAxe: QUESTION THE SECOND!

partlycloudy: k

MadManWithAnAxe: WHO IS THE LEAD SINGER OF THE GROUP DEADSY?

MadManWithAnAxe: TICK TOCK TICK TOCK

MadManWithAnAxe: WELL?

partlycloudy: hang on my sis is talking to me bout somethin

partlycloudy: ! sec

partlycloudy: 1

MadManWithAnAxe: close enough

MadManWithAnAxe: QUESTION THE THIRD!

partlycloudy: lol

MadManWithAnAxe: WHAT is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

partlycloudy: WHAT THE HELL

partlycloudy: ?

MadManWithAnAxe: tick tock

partlycloudy: WHAT THE HELL???????

MadManWithAnAxe: sorry….i’m afraid that is incorrect, my dear

MadManWithAnAxe: you can’t be a part of my cult

partlycloudy: o really?

MadManWithAnAxe: and you don’t get to come to my birthday party!

partlycloudy: and the right answer would be???????????

partlycloudy: well…….

partlycloudy: darn lol

partlycloudy: and the right answer would be???????????

MadManWithAnAxe: i think we BOTH know the answer to that one

partlycloudy: well just pretend i dont know and share it with me

MadManWithAnAxe: i’m sorry dave, i’m afraid i cant do that

MadManWithAnAxe: i’m afraid

MadManWithAnAxe: i’m afraid

partlycloudy: well thats cool if u will quit calling me dave

MadManWithAnAxe: i’m sorry dave, i’m afraid i cant do that

MadManWithAnAxe: now, we dance

MadManWithAnAxe: VROOOOOOOOOOOOM!

MadManWithAnAxe: WILL YOU MARRY ME?

MadManWithAnAxe: i once knew a man from NANTUCKET!

MadManWithAnAxe: she called me a toaster oven!

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#8580: Rainy -> MadManWithAnAxe

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okay, a friend of a friend of mine was having trouble getting rid of a leech-like ex, so she sought to me for advice…unfortunatly, although i may be insightful, i’m not really the helpful “type”.

(i’ve edited down all the boring stuff and just posted the good stuff….i guess……

—————————–

Rainy: i want to shoot my xboyfriend

MadManWithAnAxe: go for it

Rainy: will you do it

Rainy: and never tell a soul

MadManWithAnAxe: heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllll no

Rainy: well i cant have my prints on the gun

MadManWithAnAxe: hmmm….. cut off your hands

Rainy: then how can i shoot?

MadManWithAnAxe: pssh, fuck….it’s all about the details for you

Rainy: yes, i think i could actually do it if i tried

MadManWithAnAxe: yeah, you’ll figure something out

Rainy: im thinking im gonna date him again and torture him

Rainy: but then ill have to put up with all his whiney bitch hit

Rainy: what should i do bradith, what shall i do?

MadManWithAnAxe: hmm……okay, i got it……… from now on…be wearing a ten gallon hat AT ALL TIMES….he’ll eventually be too ebarassed to be seen with you

Rainy: ive actually tried wearing embarassing hats, he diddnt care

Rainy: he thought it was cool

MadManWithAnAxe: hmmm……..okay, then what you need to do is cut off his penis with an x-acto knife and then tatoo a huge smiley face on his chest with text that says “this boy ain’t got no weenie”

Rainy: if i could i would but i dont have the means

MadManWithAnAxe: aw, snap

Rainy: got a more practical idea?

MadManWithAnAxe: you mean one that you could actually do?

Rainy: yeeeas

MadManWithAnAxe: nope

Rainy: what else ya got?

MadManWithAnAxe: this is going to take a while to type, be patient

Rainy: ok

Rainy: im sharpening my claws while i wait

Rainy: done yet?

MadManWithAnAxe: Okay, take him out on a date, to like, wal-mart or something, i don’t know…i’m not very good at dates…….anyways slip some roofies into his icee…. when he passes out, drag him back to your place and douse his face with ether so he stays passed out….. get some meat hooks and put
two through his hands, one through the back of his head, and one in his lower back. put ropes through the hooks and tie them to two 2×4’s in a criss-cross pattern like this +… when he comes to, you will have turned him into a human marionette, and he will be naked in the street dancing(not of his own
will of course)…..now, have a tape player and get yourself the soundtrack to CATS, when that’s playing, use a stick to make him mouth the words…if that doesn’t make him hate you…..nothing will….

Rainy: yeah, still a little impracticle

MadManWithAnAxe: :-\really? i’ve done it….several times, actually

Rainy: oh, come on, seriously, i need to get rid of him

(at this point, i had to go)

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#8576: MadManWithAnAxe -> punk rocker 4 life

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MadManWithAnAxe: Shut the fuck up! i need total concentration….

punk rocker 4 life: WHAT THE HELL?!

MadManWithAnAxe: Didn’t you hear me? SHUT UP!

punk rocker 4 life: NO I DONT GOTS TA!!

punk rocker 4 life: SO GO FUCK OFF

MadManWithAnAxe: I KNOW ALL 11 OF THE COLONELS HERBS AND SPICES, BEEOTCH

punk rocker 4 life: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING DUMBASS!!!

MadManWithAnAxe: you heard me

punk rocker 4 life: fuck off!

MadManWithAnAxe: fuck off is ffo kcef backwards!

MadManWithAnAxe: isn’t that weird?

punk rocker 4 life: i guess soo

MadManWithAnAxe: maybe you should shut the fuck up and mind your own damn business, jesus tapdancing christ

punk rocker 4 life: mabe u shouldntt im me and i wouldnt be botherin u now would i ???!stupid!

MadManWithAnAxe: Maybe you should dance with me

MadManWithAnAxe: remember pop rocks?

MadManWithAnAxe: those little candy that fizzled in your mouth?

punk rocker 4 life: ya those are cool

MadManWithAnAxe: DUDE, SHUT THE HELL UP!

punk rocker 4 life: sTOP IMing ME AND I WILL

MadManWithAnAxe: but, anyways…you know that Mikey kid from those LIFE cereal commercials?

MadManWithAnAxe: he put pop rocks in 7up and his head exploded

MadManWithAnAxe: true story

punk rocker 4 life: good bye now

MadManWithAnAxe: I WASN’T TALKING TO YOU, BITCH!

punk rocker 4 life: I DONT GIVE A SHIT WHO U WERE TALKIN TO U DICK SUCKIN HORE!!!

MadManWithAnAxe: hey, have you ever played Pink Floyds dark side of the moon while watching The Wizard Of Oz

MadManWithAnAxe: They TOTALLY sync up!

MadManWithAnAxe: Have you ever played GTA: vice city?

MadManWithAnAxe: Dude, i just want to get to know you

punk rocker 4 life: WHAT THE FUCK EVER

MadManWithAnAxe: SHUT THE HELL UP, FUDGEPACKER

MadManWithAnAxe: well anyways, i was playing gta right, and i stole this dudes car

MadManWithAnAxe: then i drove to the next island

MadManWithAnAxe: and i got me a motorcycle

MadManWithAnAxe: and i shot a guy.

MadManWithAnAxe: no kidding