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Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10260: Bloodninja -> MommyMelissa

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This entry is part 3 of 13 in the series The Saga of Bloodninja

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?

MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?

Bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?

MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.

Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out

Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.

(pause)

MommyMelissa: is that it?

Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.

Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?

MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables… Can you make it a little more sexy for me?

(pause)

Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach… Sexily.

Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.

MommyMelissa: Grain doesn’t really turn me on… I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.

Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.

Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this shit is HOT.

MommyMelissa: …

Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.

MommyMelissa:: What the fuck is this madlibs? I’m outta here.

Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can’t see. Bitch.

MommyMelissa: whatever.

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10259: Bloodninja -> DirtyKate

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This entry is part 2 of 13 in the series The Saga of Bloodninja

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?

DirtyKate: K, but don’t tell anybody 😉

DirtyKate: Who are you?

Bloodninja: I’ve got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot

Bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John’s in my Geo Storm.

DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..

Bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John’s and make an order

DirtyKate: Haha! OK

DirtyKate: Hello! I’d like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.

Bloodninja: Well, first they would say, “Hello, this is Papa John’s, how may I help you”, then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that’s an X-Large. What toppings do you want?

DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!

Bloodninja: Is this a delivery?

DirtyKate: Umm…Yes

DirtyKate: So you’re bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I’m home alone…and I think I’ll take a shower…

Bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I’ll drive to your house.

**pause**

DirtyKate: I’m almost finished with my shower… Hurry up!

Bloodninja: You can’t hurry good pizza.

Bloodninja: I’m on my way now though

**pause**

DirtyKate: So you’re at my front door now.

Bloodninja: How did you know?

Bloodninja: I knock but you can’t hear me cause you’re in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.

Bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I’m as hot as a pizza oven

DirtyKate: ooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I’m all wet and cold. Warm me up baby

Bloodninja: So you’re still in the bathroom?

DirtyKate: Yeah, I’m wrapping a towel around myself.

Bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door….

DirtyKate: What the fuck?

DirtyKate: You perverted piece of shit

DirtyKate: Fuck

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10258: Bloodninja -> Sarah19fca

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This entry is part 1 of 13 in the series The Saga of Bloodninja

Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.

Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.

Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.

Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.

Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.

Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.

Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.

Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O’ Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.

Sarah19fca: you like that?

Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.

Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?

Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.

Sarah19fca: Peanuts?

Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.

Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?

Bloodninja: I’m spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.

Sarah19fca: This is stupid.

Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.

Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?

Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.

Sarah19fca: /ignore

Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.

Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10257: i300767 -> Fire6water

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I found this.

—————–

i300767: hey

Fire6water: i4842026

i300767: what?

Fire6water: That’s one of my SNs

i300767: y?

Fire6water: I like the whole, one letter, lots of numbers thing

i300767: hehehe

Fire6water: What’s funny?

i300767: nothing i like it too

Fire6water: You like to giggle, eh?

Fire6water: Very Manly

Fire6water: I’m more of a chuckler

Fire6water: The deep, more manly kind of giggle

i300767: only my numbers are are my id #

i300767: yes yes

i300767: hehe

Fire6water: hauh hauh hauh

Fire6water: That’s my deep manly chuckle

i300767: heh heh

Fire6water: My numbers are a password to a secret government website

Fire6water: want the URL?

i300767: hehe

i300767: yea

i300767: ?

Fire6water: okay

Fire6water: http://www.freedic.com

Fire6water: Do you want to buy my soul?

Fire6water: I’m selling it

i300767: how much?

Fire6water: Here is the URL:

Fire6water: I’m only 759

Fire6water: I’m cheap

i300767: oooohh…i think sold!

i300767: hehehe

Fire6water: So, are you going to sell your soul too?

i300767: nope…i need it…i case of emergency…like it would help

Fire6water: What would a soul do you in an emergency?

i300767: i case i…ummm…i dunno

Fire6water: Souls can’t make you fly

Fire6water: A soul cannot give you immortality

i300767: yea…but…i dunno

Fire6water: What makes your soul so special to you?

i300767: nothing

Fire6water: Then why have it around when you can sell it?

i300767: ummm

Fire6water: Can’t think of anything, right?

i300767: nope

Fire6water: Then give your soul to someone who has a use for it

i300767: mine already expired

Fire6water: Expired, eh?

i300767: yup

Fire6water: Just like how my slut papers expired?

i300767: when i got my frist computer

Fire6water: I am no longer an official slut

i300767: yay!

Fire6water: I have to go down to the official slut office and take the test again

Fire6water: It’s quite simple acually

i300767: plz dont.

Fire6water: They give me three guys and I start my work

i300767: hehehe

Fire6water: the papers last for two years

Fire6water: So, I think I’ll go down this weekend. I’m thinking of bringing a few friends down with me

Fire6water: We can do the group test

Fire6water: The best two out of five sluts become official sluts

i300767: heh

Fire6water: I am most defenetly going to make it

i300767: …

Fire6water: I have been a member for 6 years now

i300767: aaahhhh

Fire6water: Oh yeah, you need to meet my new pimp

i300767: oh…who…tj??

Fire6water: I have two now

Fire6water: Michelle and Mat

Fire6water: The M&M comp.

i300767: aahh

Fire6water: They made a few bucks today

i300767: ooh…hehehe

Fire6water: Daniel, he gave them a few bucks for me

i300767: hey can u make that the m&m&m corp?

Fire6water: Sure

i300767: hehehe^_^

i300767: oopps

Fire6water: there’s that giggling again

i300767: wrong font

Fire6water: M&M&M&M comp.

i300767: who is the other one?

Fire6water: Mako

i300767: ooog is she on?

i300767: oooh^

Fire6water: Is she on what? This earth? Yes.

i300767: no…aim

Fire6water: How can you be on AIM?

Fire6water: She can be online

Fire6water: And be using AIM

i300767: is she?

Fire6water: But she can’t be ON AIM

Fire6water: Yes, she is

i300767: what?

i300767: what sn?

Fire6water: Sore wa himitsu desu

i300767: what?

Fire6water: That is a secret ^.~ b

i300767: damn her!

i300767: damn them all

i300767: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fire6water: Damn the world

i300767: hehehe!

Fire6water: there is that giggling, yet again.

i300767: yes yes

Fire6water: So it’s double words now?

i300767: its a metaphorical figuitive expression of the way my brian wave transfer

i300767: to the mucelse in my fingers

Fire6water: Understandable

i300767: hehehe

Fire6water: that damn giggling is getting annoying

i300767: oh…

i300767: ill stop when i get to speak to Mako!!

i300767: GRRR!!!!

Fire6water: grrr… *shake my fist*

i300767: *^@*^%J&^$I&I^KUM^#

Fire6water: Oh, you want her SN? Why didn’t you say so

Fire6water: GoblinSorceress

Fire6water: There ya go

i300767: oh yes i want it

i300767: ok…hehe

i300767: ooops

Fire6water: No ‘hehe’

i300767: yes sorry

Fire6water: I was drunk last night

i300767: ?

Fire6water: I was acting different than usual

i300767: oh

Fire6water: My bf was very happy after the night was through

Fire6water: ~.^ b

i300767: ooooohh

Fire6water: Yes, I sang contry, his favorite. That’s what we did all night. Karaoke.

i300767: oh…ok

Fire6water: I sang: Baby I’m amazed by you

Fire6water: One of his favorites

i300767: oh! i thought you did something else

Fire6water: Like what?

i300767: nm