Then there was the Marine who was so tough, he used a blow torch to shave and gasoline for an after-shave lotion.
All posts by davepoobond
Joke #12052
SON: “Hey, Dad, what did you do in the war?”
DAD: “I was a pilot. I shot down 24 planes. Some of them were the enemies’.”
Joke #12051
MESS SGT: “Do me a favor, Weaver. Taste what’s in that pot over there.”
PVT WEAVER: “Yech! It tastes like dish water.”
MESS SGT: “Thanks! It must be the stew because the pea soup tastes like mud.”
Joke #12050
When I joined the Navy, my recruiter promised me I’d see the world. After I signed my enlistment papers, he kept his promise. He took me in a back room and showed me a globe.
Joke #12049
FATHER: “Is it true the navy has a submarine that can stay underwater for months?”
SAILOR SON: “Yes, we have one that now only comes up so the men can vote in a presidential election.”
Joke #12048
SERGEANT: “What can I do for you, Skiles?”
PVT. SKILES: “I was wondering if I can take a tank home tonight. I’m teaching my wife to drive.”
Joke #12047
MOTHER: “What are you looking for, Jimmy?”
JIMMY: “I’m looking for a dime.”
MOTHER: “Where did you lose the dime?”
JIMMY: “I didn’t lose it. I just want one.”
Joke #12046
A twelve-year-old boy came home from the movies and his mother asked him how the picture was.
The lad said, “A real bomb! I could hardly sit through it the second time.”
Joke #12045
A father was reading the newspaper one night and he commented, “It says here an old woman died and police found 50,000 dollars hidden in her bustle.”
His teenage son replied, “Wow! That’s a lot of money to leave behind.”
Joke #12044
HUSBAND: “I’m homesick.”
WIFE: “But, dear, you are home.”
HUSBAND: “I know, but I’m sick of it.”
Joke #12043
One teenage gal said to her friend who was about to make a telephone call, “If a girl answers, don’t hang up. His voice is changing.”
Joke #12042
MRS. ALLEN: “I saw your husband and he didn’t look happy.”
MRS. WILLS: “Yes, he’s very sad. He lost 10,000 dollars. The price of pigs went up and he didn’t have a one.”
Joke #12041
SISTER: “Tell me the truth, do boys like talkative girls as well as they like the other kind?”
BROTHER: “What other kind?”
Joke #12040
When the man of the house returned from work, his son said, “Dad there was a man here to see you this morning.”
The father asked, “Did the man have a bill?”
The kid answered, “No, he had a nose like yours.”
Joke #12039
A daughter told her mother, “Jimmy, who lives down the block, went to school with his dog day after day until the day when they parted.”
The mother gasped and said, “You mean the dog died?”
Her daughter smiled and replied, “Oh, no! The dog graduated.”