They do everything big in Texas high schools. In biology class they don’t dissect frogs; they dissect dinosaurs!
All posts by davepoobond
Joke #12596
The college I go to is a four-or-five-year institution depending on whether you commute or not. If you don’t commute, it’s a four-year college. If you do commute, it takes you five years to graduate because you waste a whole year looking for a parking place.
Joke #12595
In college I was in a class so large that by the time the professor finished calling the roll, it was time for the next class.
Joke #12594
I was a five letter man my first year in college… and the letters were F-L-U-N-K!
Joke #12593
How big is the University of Texas’ campus? Let me put it this way. it’s the only college in America that has its own subway system.
Joke #12592
There’s a college campus in Texas so huge that the air fare from the dormitory to the lecture hall is a hundred dollars.
They Have Schools For Everything
These days they have schools for everything:
– I went to card shark school, but failed out because I didn’t cheat on the tests.
– I went to oven repair school and it was a gas.
– I dropped out of butcher school because I couldn’t hack it.
– I graduated from astronomy school and came out starry-eyed.
Joke #12589
PHILOSOPHY STUDENT: “I just had lunch an hour ago.”
PHILOSOPHY PROFESSOR: “You mean you ‘think’ you just had lunch.”
PHILOSOPHY STUDENT: “No, I’m sure. I ate six stuffed peppers.”
PHILOSOPHY PROFESSOR: “That’s still no proof. You could think you ate six stuffed peppers. It could all be in your mind.”
PHILOSOPHY STUDENT: “That’s impossible, Professor. I know I had lunch because I have indigestion, and it’s in my stomach not my mind.”
Joke #12588
Education has finally come up with an effective way to deal with high school students who are habitual trouble makers. They graduate them!
Joke #12587
Q: Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?
A: So he could grade his eggs.
Joke #12586
CHEMISTRY PROFESSOR: “Rollins, what does HNO3 mean?”
ROLLINS: “Uh… well… I’ve got it on the tip of my tongue, Prof.”
CHEMISTRY PROFESSOR: “Well, you’d better spit it out fast! It’s nitric acid.”
Joke #12585
THE IRONY OF TEACHING: The good kids you have to pass to the next grade, while the bad kids end up spending another year with you.
Joke #12584
In the school library, a lad stopped a young girl and said, “Excuse me, but haven’t I met you somewhere?”
The gal replied, “Sure you have. I go there often.”
Joke #12583
Did you hear about the college student who got rally worried that something had happened to his parents? He hadn’t gotten a check from them in weeks.
Joke #12582
DAD: “Son, I want you to have something I never had in school.”
SON: “What’s that? Passing grades?”