Sarah: “Let’s go blow this guy!”
Sylvester Stallone: ::gets pissed:: “Away. Blow him away!”
– from Demolition Man
All posts by davepoobond
Quote #21072
“want me to take another whack at it?”
“how about taking another QUACK at it!”
::blows them all up::
– from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers the Movie
The 7up Song
It’s 7up,
yea it’s the up thing.
It’s 7up,
does it everytime.
It’s 7up,
yea it’s the up thing
cuz it’s cool
and it’s wonderful
and it’s lemon and lime
Congratualation (You’ve Won!) Email Conversation
Ok, there was this stupid piece of junk mail that was sent to 28 people. Out of those 28 people, I was included, but there were 2 other people that were stupid enough to open it and RESPOND to it. This is what they said:
–
1st guy: eh… who r u ppl?
–
2nd guy: REALLY BUDDY, I DOUBT ANY OF US ARE THAT STUPID…BECAUSE I WENT TO THE SITE AND IT SAID FILL OUT SN AND PASSWORD…BUT THERE IS SOMETHING I REMEMBERD…
REMINDER…AOL WILL NEVER ASK YOU FOR YOUR PASSWORD OR ANY OTHER BILLING INFORMATION!
YOU ARE BEING REPORTED
–
I mean, these guys are stupid dumbasses. They act like they think we really care what they have to say, and reply all. Moral of the story is: Don’t reply all on spam mail.
Ridiculous Spam Mail #21057
The little guy gets screwed again…
Enron? K-Mart? Major companies are folding, Executives are ripping off the little guy.
Who can you trust? Yourself.
Did you hear the story of the guy who had a 1.5 million dollar 401K with Enron and it’s now worth ZERO! There’s no better time to think about having something to fall back on… a business of your own.
I’ve made millions of dollars on the Internet and I answer to no one. I have no boss and I can say “no” to whomever I wish (except my wife). If I don’t want to get up until 10 a.m. one day, I don’t. If I don’t want to work 5 days a week, I won’t.
No one runs my life except me and no one can ruin it.
It should be this way for everyone. And it can. You CAN do what I’ve done and find freedom through owning your own business. The only thing that is stopping you right now… is YOU!
I’ll even make it easy on you. I’ll guarantee that you can use my system and make $1,000 in 15 days or less! I’ve done it regularly for years now, and so can you!
Ridiculous Spam Mail #21056
FROM: HAJIA MARIAM ABACHA
A CRY FOR HELP.
Dear friend,
Following the sudden death of my husband, Late General Sanni Abacha, the former head of state of the federal republic of Nigeria in June 1998, I have been thrown into a state of utter confusion, frustration and hopelessness by the present civilian administration.
Security agents in Nigeria have subjected me to physical and psychological tortures. One of my sons is still under detention as well as arraigned before a Federal High Court of Nigeria for an offence he did not commit. As a widow, that is so traumatized, I have lost hope and confidence in anybody within the country.
You must have heard over the media and the Internet on the recovery of various huge sums of money deposited by my late husband in different security firms abroad. Some willingly gave up their secrets and disclosed our money confidently lodged with them and many
out-rightly declined lodgment. In fact the total sum discovered by the Government so far is to the tune of $700 million dollars. And the government has not relented in its efforts to completely bring my children and I back to square one. This is why I deemed it necessary to act fast by contacting anybody abroad for assistance. Furthermore, due to the security network placed on my daily activities I cannot afford to visit any embassy for a possible solution, hence I have decided to contact you and I do hope you will be the person God is going to use to rescue my family and I.
I have deposited the sum of $35 million dollars in a security firm abroad as whose name is with held for now for security reasons until we fully commence communication. I shall be grateful if you could receive this fund on my behalf for safekeeping. Adequate arrangement has been made for receiving the fund. It is totally risk free. This arrangement is known to you, my brother (who is contacting you and I only. This means that my brother will deal directly with you as surveillance is on me. My brother’ name is audu.
You are entitled to 30% of the total sum. I hope to invest a proportion of the balance in your country.
Please forward your private Telephone and Fax numbers so that we can fully commence communication immediately. I will quite appreciate, if you accept my proposal in good faith. I look forward to receiving your urgent reply to my plea. Reply through my e-mail.
Yours truly,
Hajia Mariam Abacha
Quote #21055
“You’ll Be Glad to Made it!”
– from a spam e-mail
Quote #21054
“P.S. If you prefer, you can also call the special toll-free number set up just for you: 1-888-FREESHIT!”
– from a spam e-mail
Note: Don’t try calling this number unless you are at a pay phone.
Quote #21053
“My wife, mom, daughters and my sister are all getting these magnificent long-stemmed roses from me for Christmas. And Ghirardelli chocolates, of course!”
– from a spam e-mail
Quote #21052
“Scientists have developed a breakthrough weight loss program that ‘tricks’ your body into burning existing fat!”
– from a spam e-mail
Ridiculous Spam Mail #21051
Hi there!
Have you ever shopped at a high-end department store where they have Personal Shoppers?
You give them all your details — your size, favorite colors, styles you like, etc. then you meet with them, and they present you with a whole bunch of choices, all tailored to your needs. No digging through the racks of clothing or searching the aisles for something you like.
Now, imagine leaning back in your chair and having a Personal Shopper do all of your Christmas shopping on the web — not a real person, however — an intelligent software program…wouldn’t that be cool?!
I just found a program that does just that! You tell your computer some things about your family and friends, like their interests and activities, then it searches through over one million major branded products and unique one-of-a-kind items to find the perfect present for each of them.
And… it’s FREE!”
It also reminds you of birthdays and important events. I checked some interest categories for my Dad, who is retired and it suggested over 40 gifts including some heated slippers, a waffle iron (he loves to cook), golf shoes, a casual coat, and leather wallet with room for pictures of the grandkids.
These were ALL great ideas!
I really love the idea pages, because they give you coupon codes for discounts and direct links to the items, plus a clever little desktop application that will display gift ideas for you. And I LOVE to shop with coupons!
I do about 90% of my holiday shopping online, and this has helped me a lot, especially with the hard-to-buy-for folks like my Hubby’s boss and his wife, lol! That one is always a stumper. I am not going to tell you what I got them though, because she is as much of an online shopper as I am, and may be reading this. 🙂
Remember, there is not much time left for Holiday Shopping, so you better GET BUSY! < grin >
Quote #21050
“Get Approved for an Unsecured Gold Credit Card Instantly Online!”
– from a spam e-mail
Ridiculous Spam Mail #21049: They Can’t Be Serious!
If you are at home or at work and are using a top-of-the-line computer, you have roughly 42 million transistors that are maxed out at 100 billion operations per second. Not bad, heh? That should be all that one person needs, right?
Well, Intel is saying that they are going to be releasing a chip by 2007 that will have a billion transistors and will perform a trillion operations in one second!
Let me put this in perspective for you by saying that, according to an msnbc.com article, it would take 15,000 years for a person to flip a
light switch a trillion times.
We know by experience that if Intel is doing it, then other major companies will be right behind or just in front of that mark. The best part about this projection is that they are to consume the same amount of power as today’s processors.
The transistors are micro circuits that bring semiconductors to life, in this case they are going to be bringing a whole lot of life! So if you think your computer is fast now, just give the industry a couple of years.
Ridiculous Spam Mail #21048
The U.S. government wants to head off the future hacker attacks and viruses against its computers and decided to create a new “corporate Internet.”
This makes sense as the U.S. government is frequently the target of computer-based attacks. This corporate Internet will allow government workers to pass sensitive information back and forth with a greater sense of security. At least that’s the idea behind GovNet.
So Richard Clarke, special advisor to the President for cyberspace security, asked the U.S. General Services Administration (GSA) to issue a procedural “request for information” (RFI) from the telecommunications industry.
Last week, the time for the RFI passed and GSA received 167 responses. Now, 16 different government agencies will evaluate the submissions and, in February, will let the White House know its recommendations.
Quote #21047
“I had these dark spots on my leg for 15 years. I’m not sure what it was but it was growing!”
– from a spam e-mail