Ridiculous Spam Mail #24501

Nice to meet you, my name is Ella. My boyfriend dumped me today in the morning.
I got so sad, that I first wanted to get drunk, but later I realized that finding a fuck buddy will be a better medicine for me.
Can you heal my broken heart with your magic cock? Get it out of your first aid kit and inject it through my vagina.

 

Quote #23704

Hello there :). Im Carmen 😀

Well here’s the dealio LOL. Umm Im kinda in a messed up situation right now and I really need some help and well lets just say I can return the favor… Sort off. LOL.

Anyways, here’s whats happening right now in my life. I moved here for college and I’m going into business and I didn’t really have a place to stay. I had a couple hundred dollars so I ended up leasing an apartment and I never knew that If I didn’t pay the monthly rent I’d be screwed financially. I’ve actually been looking around for a job and right now I can’t really find one anywhere and my friend gave me the idea to sell my nudes that I took for my BF for his birthday and he’s not getting them for obvious reasons ;)!.

I have about 600+ pics and a video I made for him but he’s not getting them anymore LOL. He left me for this fat chick and I guess thats too bad for him. Anyways so I set up this online shop place where you can get my stuff, Its actually right here: <spam URL here>”

– a spammer’s profile on a dating site pretending to be a hot girl

 

Ridiculous Spam Mail #22447

Subject: Is that you?

Hello.
I know that every woman want to have a gentle, caring,honest and self confident man. I realy want to love. I am loyal, energetic and friendly person. Family and friends are big part of my life.
My hobby is collecting toys. When I enter the room where lot of toys are on the arm-chair and sofa my mood and condition becomes much better.

Do you wish to know more about me? Just write me: <insert spam link> Yours Evgenija.

 

Ridiculous Spam Mail #22174

Subject: Why?

Hi.

Are you looking for a bride? Maybe I’m the that interest you!
My name is Karina and last name is Kuzmina. I live in Kaluga. I am a nice “kitten” with an interesting personality. You can see for yourself in my photos. I am 23 years. I have a good education and a profession favorite. I adore to go skating. I like communicating with my friends, discussing all aspects of living.
I have light hair and brown eyes and would love to write letters with good man. Oh, I can speak for hours about my ideal match and how I see relations with my true love. If you dream you meet me then contact me communicating with me is easy and fun and you will never be bored with me.

 

Facebook Message #21483: davepoobond -> Abegail

davepoobond gets a friend request from some random person named Abegail.  davepoobond sends a message to this person to figure out if he knows her (which he knows he doesn’t.)

davepoobond: do i know you?

Abegail: im sorry about ur ask im not do

And, not surprisingly, their profile was deleted since it was probably a spammer.

 

Congratualation (You’ve Won!) Email Conversation

Ok, there was this stupid piece of junk mail that was sent to 28 people.  Out of those 28 people, I was included, but there were 2 other people that were stupid enough to open it and RESPOND to it.  This is what they said:

1st guy: eh… who r u ppl?

2nd guy: REALLY BUDDY, I DOUBT ANY OF US ARE THAT STUPID…BECAUSE I WENT TO THE SITE AND IT SAID FILL OUT SN AND PASSWORD…BUT THERE IS SOMETHING I REMEMBERD…

REMINDER…AOL WILL NEVER ASK YOU FOR YOUR PASSWORD OR ANY OTHER BILLING INFORMATION!

YOU ARE BEING REPORTED

I mean, these guys are stupid dumbasses.  They act like they think we really care what they have to say, and reply all.  Moral of the story is: Don’t reply all on spam mail.