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Tag - river


zadowe

March 3rd, 2013 Posted in Dictionary No Comments »

zadowe – v. to dump pig blood into a river in copious amounts

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Joke #18625

February 21st, 2011 Posted in Jokes No Comments »

Robin Hood and his merry men were in Sherwood Forest celebrating and drinking. Friar Tuck started to sing louder and louder with each drink. Robin, fearing that the Sheriff’s men might hear the band celebrate, dragged the friar into the woods and threw him in the river… but Tuck climbed out without missing a note.

The moral of the story? You can lead a drunk to water, but you cannot make him hoarse.

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Joke #17492

February 10th, 2011 Posted in (F) Conversational Joke, Jokes No Comments »

GUY: “How can that dictionary help you over the stream?”

MAN: “Because it’s a-bridged!”

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Quote #15575

January 17th, 2011 Posted in Quotes No Comments »

“no, you wah wah, cry me a river.”

– stimpyismyname

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Quote #14649

January 10th, 2011 Posted in Quotes No Comments »

“hey!”

::thrown into a river::

Short Circuit 2 (1988)

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Joke #13267

December 24th, 2010 Posted in (F) Conversational Joke, Jokes No Comments »

NICKY: “Are you fishing in the river?”

MICKEY: “No!  I”m standing here washing worms.”

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Joke #13246

December 24th, 2010 Posted in Jokes No Comments »

Did you hear about the absent-minded gangster who took a sack with a body in it to the laundry and threw his dirty clothes in the river?

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Joke #11993

May 31st, 2010 Posted in (F) Conversational Joke, Jokes No Comments »

DOCTOR: “Why did you jump in that icy river to retrieve your hat?  You could have been killed.”

PATIENT: “I know, but I had to get my hat.  If I go without one in the winter, I catch cold.”

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Joke #11946

May 27th, 2010 Posted in Jokes No Comments »

My father taught me to swim when I was five years old.  He took me down to the river and threw me in.  I wouldn’t have minded, but people were ice skating at the time.

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Joke #11511

August 6th, 2008 Posted in (C) Blonde Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

A brunette is trying to get across a river and suddenly she spots a blonde on the other side.

She yells over to the blonde, “Hey, excuse me! How do I get over to the other side?”

And after a quick survey of the river, the blonde calls back “You ARE on the other side!”

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I Asked God

December 15th, 2007 Posted in (C) Serious Poems, Poetry and Songs No Comments »

I asked for a flower,
He gave me a garden.
I asked for a tree,
He gave me a forest.
I asked for a river,
He gave me an ocean.
I asked for a friend,
He gave me “YOU.”

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Joke #7819

September 28th, 2007 Posted in (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

Q: What has 2 banks but no money?

A: A river.

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The Sewer Farm

September 15th, 2007 Posted in Stories No Comments »

Denice, Clemintine, and Momma are living on a farm full of raw sewage. Rivers of sewage flow through there large farm. Momma came out to the mud fields where Denice was digging. It seemed unsuccessful.

“The plants aren’t growing Mum,” blurted Denice!

“Did you use seeds,” asked Denice.

“Ohhhh.”

A truck pulled up. It was Poppa! He was holding five hundred dollars! Momma started a yellin!

“I told you to trade your ring for new shoes, how could you get a pair of shoes with five hundred dollors?!?!” Screamed Momma. “Denice go put the money in the bird cage.”

Clemintine comes back with a fishing rod. and a pair of old boots. They look really burnt up and dirty.

“All I could fish out of the sewer today was these boots,” stated Clemintine.

They decided to go on a slide. They dug up a sewer pipe, cut it open, and jumped in. Afterwards they went a watched the sewage burn tires into a liquid!

To be continued…..

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The Outrageous Shark

September 15th, 2007 Posted in Stories No Comments »

Most of this was taken from a Johnny Bravo episode, cause I was stupid in 6th grade and thought it was so funny that I should recreate it in word form, in a less funny fashion…yeah…but the other half I made up…Remember, I made this in 1998, when I was in 6th grade…

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One day a shark was hungry, so he went on the beach and asked a mouthful…I mean a lot of people if they wanted to go swimming so he can eat them. But they said, “No way man!! You’re a shark!!” The shark thought, “Hmmmm, I gotta try a new approach.” So he put on a Richard Nixon mask that was big enough to cover someone’s face, but only covered the tip of his nose Then he went to another guy that just got slapped by his girlfriend. Let’s make that X-girlfriend.

The shark said,” Hey!!! Wanna go swimmin’?” Then the guy said,” Hey aren’t you a shark?” The shark said,” Um… no!! I’m Richard Nixon!!!” The guy said, “There are a bunch of teeny weeny bikini girls out there!! Why would I want to go swimming.” Then the shark said, “Well……” Then the guy said, “NO!!!” After that the shark went home disappointed. The foundation of his house was cracked. When he lounged on the floor it cracked some more and made a loud resounding noise through the house. Then he heard all the trout moving downstream in the river next door to his house. The surrounding noise that was resounding his house went over and over and over. The next morning the shark died of boredom and hunger. His house also fell on top of him.

The story you have just read is true. The names and places have been changed to protect the innocent.

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Books Never Written

September 15th, 2007 Posted in Lists No Comments »

- “Let’s Go to the Moon,” by Hugo First

– “An Everflown River,” by P.A. Little

– “The History of Song,” by Mike Roffone

– “Peanut Butter And Jelly: Noon Time Snacks From Around the World,” by Sam Wich

– “How Do You Spell ‘Kat?'” by Ima Dope

– “Speaking Spanish,” by Mell Amo

– “10 Easy Steps to Denial,” By Itwa Sentme

– “The Adventures of Sure-Locked Homes” – an anti-burglary booklet

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