smicalni – v. to paint a sparrow with the intent of selling it as a parakeet
Q: What kind of coat can only be put on when wet?
A: A coat of paint.
Q: What’s clear and smells like red paint?
A: Chloroform. Shhhhh.
Q: What’s blue and smells like red paint?
A: Blue paint.
Q: Why don’t blacks have checkbooks?
A: They find it too hard to sign their names in spray paint.
Q: How does a perky goth paint his ceiling black?
A: He dyes his hair and starts bouncing.
Q: How many “New Kids on the Block” does it take to paint a wall red?
A: Only one if you throw it hard enough.
Pour paint on
Pour paint on who?
I didn’t say to pour paint on anyone!
Seen in the parking lot of a brand new department store, painted on the ground at a crosswalk in letters 4 feet tall: YELD
Close, but not close enough. The next week I drove through the same parking lot and found it was changed. They had painted an I between the existing letters. Now it read YEILD.
About two months later they finally fixed it. The old lettering was painted over with black and freshly painted on top of that was the word STOP.
“you can help me paint my bathroom…duh hu”
– from somewhere around davepoobond’s high school
“I have dice one has J’s on all sides and another has U’s on all sides…”
Then he changes his example from dice to marbles with letters painted on them and babbles on forever.
– Dr. OldNBald
My wife never cleans up our house. When company comes, she just puts drop cloths all over the mess and tells everyone we’re painting.
I finally got back at the post office for always mishandling my parcels. Yesterday I marked a package, “THIS SIDE UP,” and mailed a full can of paint without a lid on it.
Q: What do you get when you mix paint together?
A: A mess.
Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A: It’s not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.