Chat #21824

kevmeister01: i like 2 POOP

kevmeister01: it keeps u regular

xoSuPa CaNdYox: o reely

kevmeister01: yes

kevmeister01: its a fact

xoSuPa CaNdYox: mmhmmm

WhiteBoi3313: =p

kevmeister01: yes

kevmeister01: quite

kevmeister01: indeed

WhiteBoi3313: lol

xoSuPa CaNdYox: yah im shur lol

xoSuPa CaNdYox: >.<

kevmeister01: peeing is pretty good 2 but its better when u pee in a bush

xoSuPa CaNdYox: no toilitz bettr

xoSuPa CaNdYox: cuz u cn whip ur ass on toilit paper

WhiteBoi3313: lol

kevmeister01: no cuz if u pee in a bush u might hit a homeless person

xoSuPa CaNdYox: soO when u pee in a toilit u pee on fishez

WhiteBoi3313: ya but pissin while drun if fun 2 caz u pee on ppl

kevmeister01: ya

xoSuPa CaNdYox: n besidez mr.toilit man luvz doodoo n peepee

kevmeister01: i like 2 pee on drunk ppl

xoSuPa CaNdYox: datz not fair cuz i cnt pee on no1

WhiteBoi3313: lol

WhiteBoi3313: brb

kevmeister01: ya u can

xoSuPa CaNdYox: no i cnt

kevmeister01: u just need 2 work on ur aim i can help

xoSuPa CaNdYox: lol wth

WhiteBoi3313: lol

xoSuPa CaNdYox: u jus wna play w/ me

xoSuPa CaNdYox: lol

WhiteBoi3313: no u squat on

WhiteBoi3313: their foot

kevmeister01: ya

WhiteBoi3313: =p

WhiteBoi3313: or leg

kevmeister01: or their face

xoSuPa CaNdYox: lol

WhiteBoi3313: ya thtl be funny with their tounge out befo they lik u u take a piss

kevmeister01: i go for the mouth all the time every time

WhiteBoi3313: lol

WhiteBoi3313: me cat is stupid

kevmeister01: thats good

WhiteBoi3313: i moving me hand around and its following it wiht it head its funny

kevmeister01: … quite

kevmeister01: indeed

WhiteBoi3313: lol

kevmeister01: yes

 

Joke #9232: Ham Hero

A homeless man stops at a farmhouse to beg to spend the night. The farmer answers the door and says, “Sure, we can put you up.”

The vagrant washes up for dinner and meets the family downstairs. Sitting at the dinner table are the farmer, his wife, their son, and a gigantic pig who is sitting at the table like a human. Throughout the meal the vagrant tries not to stare at the pig, who sports three medals around his neck, as well as a wooden leg.

Finally, he can contain his curiosity no longer. He asks “Would you mind telling me about the bronze medal around your pig’s neck?”

The farmer says “Sure. It’s really an incredible story. Little Timmy here was swimming in the lake when he got a cramp and started to drown. This pig heard his cries for help, busted out of his pen, ran to the lake, and saved our son’s life. So, we gave him the medal.”

The vagrant is amazed and says “Well, how about that silver medal?”

The farmer says “A few months ago our house caught fire in the middle of the night while we were all sleeping. This pig saw the flames, busted out of his pen and ran into the house, waking us up in time. To show our gratitude we gave him that silver medal.”

The homeless man says “While I’m at it, I might as well ask you about the gold medal.”

The farmer says “My wife was attacked by a burglar several weeks ago. This pig heard her cries, busted out of his pen, and chased that man far away. To show my thanks I gave him that gold medal”

The homeless man sits in awe of the pig, which is blithely eating his meal with a knife and fork. He asks “What about the wooden leg?”

The farmer says, matter-of-factly, “Well, you don’t eat a pig like THAT all at once!”