CrazE-mail #24574

I occasionally try to sell my services on Craigslist to make extra money. In this case I was experimenting with selling “voice acting” services and the following occurred.

Date: 09/12/11

Subject: Need a voice actor

AS:

Hi, I’m actually looking for a phone actor, for 10-15 mins. Is this something you can do?

davepoobond:

Yes, I think I can help you out with it.

What is the project?  If it is a video, what genre is it?

AS:

It’s not a video, sounds really silly but I need someone to pretend to be my dad over the phone.  My dad won’t talk to a friend of mine and I really need him to, it’s a complicated situation. I just need someone to talk to my friend for a few minutes. I’ll obviously pay whatever you charge for your service.

davepoobond:

Well, it is an odd proposition.  I’ll have to know more specifics before I can tell you I’d do it or not.

No reply after that.

 

Ridiculous Spam Mail #22447

Subject: Is that you?

Hello.
I know that every woman want to have a gentle, caring,honest and self confident man. I realy want to love. I am loyal, energetic and friendly person. Family and friends are big part of my life.
My hobby is collecting toys. When I enter the room where lot of toys are on the arm-chair and sofa my mood and condition becomes much better.

Do you wish to know more about me? Just write me: <insert spam link> Yours Evgenija.

 

Hate Mail #22173

In response to http://squackle.com/22014/screwed-up-chronicles/knights-of-mayhem-tv-show-review/

Someone had shared the post with their friend “Ron” and he had sent this back as a response to me…

From: Ron

Subject: Re: [Shared Post] Knights of Mayhem (TV Show) Review

I’m willing to bet that the guy that wrote this is a un-muscled, non-competative type that has never risked anything other than his opinion, his verbal diaria, or his know-it-all attitude all his life. So men who climb mountains, run rapids, play footbal for free, jump horses, ride in Rodio’s must all be
losers in this guys book. Guess we must  add hockey players to the mix. Some men love challenge. If I was still the man I used to be, I’d jump at the chance to do this, just to be able to sit at a table with the kind of men that have the kind of balls to try and do it. That’s whats clearly missing
in the man that wrote the critique. Ron

 

Looking for a Voice Actor?

I have a posting on Craigslist to offer my services as a voice actor.  I don’t get many responses to it, obviously, but I did get one, as follows.

from:  Stro
date: Mon, Sep 12, 2011 at 9:19 AM
subject:  Need a voice actor

Hi, I’m actually looking for a phone actor, for 10-15 mins. Is this something you can do?

from:  davepoobond
to:  Stro
date:  Mon, Sep 12, 2011 at 12:23 PM
subject:  Re: Need a voice actor

Yes, I think I can help you out with it.

What is the project?  If it is a video, what genre is it?

from:  Stro
date:  Mon, Sep 12, 2011 at 6:41 PM
subject:  Re: Need a voice actor

It’s not a video, sounds really silly but I need someone to pretend to be my dad over the phone.  My dad won’t talk to a friend of mine and I really need him to, it’s a complicated situation. I just need someone to talk to my friend for a few minutes. I’ll obviously pay whatever you charge for your service.

from: davepoobond
date:  Mon, Sep 12, 2011 at 6:54 PM
subject:  Re: Need a voice actor

Well, it is an odd proposition.  I’ll have to know more specifics before I can tell you I’d do it or not.

 

Joke #18682

My wife and I received a lovely trophy as a wedding gift from a friend. But upon closer inspection, we noticed that the plaque seemed to reveal some dark, previously hidden secret.

There were only two lines on the engraving, and no punctuation. Read together, it said, “May the Lord Bless You and Keep You From Mary Blevin.”