Joke #9002

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would
like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy
everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he’d like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather
busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl’s parent’s house and meets his girlfriend at the door. “Oh, I’m so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!”

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl’s parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, “I had no idea you were this religious.”

The boy turns, and whispers back, “I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.”

 

What Happens When Grandmas Die

well, they get sent back to the factory, and they have to check to see if they have been tampered with (to see if the warranty is still valid) and if it is, then you get a whole pile of money (the government takes most away) and then they grind her up, and mix her in with all the ground up grandpas, and then they mold new ones, so other kids have them, that’s why you usually don’t see your grandparents too often, they are usually ground up in a factory somewhere, and then when you call up to ask if they want to stay over for dinner, they put a priority on that grandparent, then they mold a new one, and place a speaker in their teeth, (requires special care, code named “dentures”) this speaker system allows the grandparent actors to sound like your grandparent, when they are all done with the job, they grind up the grandparent again, and then they mold someone else’s grandparent…

 

Joke #5232: A Priest’s Dinner

A priest was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners.

 

When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life.

 

“Were these dishes ever washed?” he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime.

 

She replied, “Of course they were cleaned Father.” “They’re as clean as soap and water can get them.”

 

He felt a bit apprehensive, but blessed the food anyway and they all started eating. The meal was delicious and he paid his compliments in spite the dirty dishes.

 

When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside and yelled – “Here Soap! Here Water!”

 

Squackle Guestbook #20482

Dave’s Mom Squakle! My little boy’s funniest site ever! 24/Jun/2001:19:32:28
Dave, I want you home in time for dinner and I want you to not cut the
fat or else I’ll give you a spanking. Tell your buddy’s to F**K Off,
yeah thats right I said F**K OFF! Oh by the way I bought some more of
those heart shaped boxers that you look so cute in! Plus you poo-pooed
in your underwear AGAIN! I had to scrub it out with soap and clorox. No
allowance for you this week.
Sincerely with love and kisses,
Dave’s Mommy