Joke #18520

A Texan and his wife were on a trip to New York. She had just finished showering to dress for dinner and noticed that she had neglected to pack her bras. She asked her husband to go down to the dress shop in the lobby and pick up a couple of 36-C bras.

He said, “Ah’l go down raht now.” So he put on his ten gallon hat and went to the shop.

The saleslady said, “May I help you, sir?”

When he told her that he wanted two 36-C bras, she asked, “Would you like two Playtex?”

He answered, “Ah’d luv ta little lady, but mah wife’s a’waitin fur me up in the room.”

 

Joke #18466

For their anniversary, a couple went out for a romantic dinner. Their teenage daughters said they would fix a dessert and leave it waiting.

When they got home, they saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and there was a note that read:

“Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do something we wouldn’t do!”

“I suppose,” the husband responded dryly, “we could clean the house.”

 

The Real Difference Between Young and Old

As every minute passes, we all grow older.  But people say that you’re only as old as you feel.  So what is the real difference between young and old?  It’s not the years.  It’s how you look at life:

– When he’s young, a man can’t wait to grow a beard… but when he gets old, the same man just hates to shave every day.

– When she’s young, a girl loves to fix meals… but when she becomes an old married lady, the thing she hates the most is fixing breakfast, lunch, and dinner for her family every day.

– When he’s young, a man enjoys watching girls… but when he gets old, the same man prefers watching the market.

– When she’s young, a girl loves to make herself look older by putting a gray streak in her hair… but when she gets old and finds a real gray streak in her hair, she cries her eyes out.