Joke #5288

There’s a blonde, brunette, and a redhead all stranded on an island.

They are about 30 miles from land, and the brunette bets the redhead and blonde she could swim to land first, and if she didn’t, then she’d pay them both $100.

Well they all started swimming, and 10 miles into the swim, the redhead became tired and drowns.

The blonde and brunette continued, and about 2 miles from shore the blonde became tired, turned around and went back.

The brunette, just turned around and said what a dumbass, and never heard from the blonde again.

 

Joke #5274

There is a brunette, redhead, and a blonde being held captive and they are going to be executed. They bring out the brunette and say, “Any last words?” She replied, “No.” The guys with the guns said, “Ready aim…”

“TORNADO,” yells the brunette. Everyone ducked and she ran away.  Then they bring out the redhead. “Any last words?” they asked. “No,” she replied. “Ready aim…”

“EARTHQUAKE,” yelled the redhead. They all ducked and she ran away.  Lastly, they bring out the blonde. “Any last words?” asked the firing squad. “No,” the blonde said. “Ready aim…..”

And the blonde screams, “FIRE!!!!!!”

 

Joke #5272

There are three girls going on a long car trip in the desert.

One has brown hair, one is a redhead, and other is a blonde. All of a sudden the car stops.

“Darn, it won’t start!” exclaims the brown haired girl.

“Okay, we’ll just have to walk across the desert to get help,” says the redhead, “So, bring anything that is necessary for survival.”

The brunette brings some water in a big bottle. The redhead bring a hand held fan, and the blonde goes over to the car and rips off the car door.

As they are walking the girls dcide to stop to take a break.

The brunette drinks some water, and the redhead turns on the little fan. The blonde rolls down the car window and says, “Ahh, now that’s better!”

 

Joke #5271

There was a blonde and a brunette watching the 6 o’ clock news. The top story was about a man on top of the Rose Hotel threatening to jump.

The brunette turns to the blonde and says, “I bet you $50 he is going to jump.”

The blonde says, “Okay, then I’ll bet he won’t.”

Sure enough, the man jumped.

When the blonde paid the brunett the brunette says, “I’m sorry but I can’t accept your money.” The blonde replies, “Sure you can. It was a fair bet, you won.” Then the brunette says, “No, I saw the 5 o’ clock news and I already knew what was going to happen.”

Then the blonde says, “Well, I saw the 5 o’ clock news too and I was sure he wouldn’t jump again!”

 

Joke #5270

Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute wooly creatures, she said to the shepherd, “If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?” The shepherd, always the gentlemen replied, “Of course.” The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason said, “352.”

This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed and exclaimed, “You’re right! Okay, I’ll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock.” The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any others.

When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, “Okay, now I have a propostition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?”

 

Joke #5268

A blonde woman gets on a plane headed for Miami. The blonde woman has a coach ticket but spots an open seat in first class, so, she takes it. The flight attendant walks up and says, “I’m sorry, Miss, but you will have to go back to your seat in coach.” The blonde woman refuses, “I’m blonde, I’m a woman, and I’m staying right here.”

Then the flight attendant goes to get the captain and brings him back to the problem blonde. The captain says, “Miss, you have to go back to your seat now.” She responds with, “I’m blonde, I’m a woman, and I’m staying right here..”

Then the captain bends over and whispers something in the blonde’s ear. She then gets up and walks back to her seat in coach. The flight attendant is amazed and askes, “How did you do that?” The captain simply said, “I told her this half of the plane wasn’t going to Miami.”