Tilt-A-Vomit

Marian laughed loudly at Jean when she noticed her friend’s sick, pained face as they sped around the Tilt-A-Whirl.

“I feel sick,” Jean moaned.

“HA!” Marian screamed.  “You just have to suck it up.”  Jean leaned over the side of their car and vomited violently, which only increased Marian’s laughter.  Suddenly, the ride lurched around, and Jean’s vomit hit Marian squarely in the face.

Moral of the story? What goes around comes around.

 

Joke #9210

A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. “Mommy,” she said. “Can we leave now?”

“No,” her mother replied.

“Well, I think I have to throw up!”

“Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.” In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat.

“Did you throw up?” her mother asked.

“Yes,” the little girl replied.

“Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?”

“I didn’t have to go out of the church, Mommy.” the little girl replied. “They have a box next to the front door that says, ‘For the sick’.”

 

Regurgitated Dehydrated Instant Soup

(Man barfs into a cup)

 

Man: we just dehydrate it, and sell it to you. Its that simple. Never the same taste, and almost nutritious! We have 300 healthy and not so healthy workers working day and night!

 

(the camera gets a view of an assembly line of people barfing into cups. Some have green faces)

(end)

 

Walking Down the Street…

so i was walking down the… street… and…. uhh …wha? huh? oh, ok. yeah. and you know, circus monkeys make a lot of money… and…. uh- wha? huh? weasels aren’t very trustworthy, hence the stereotype… and… yeah. so i was walking… um… huh? wha- oh, already did that. if i was a baboon, i’d make pancakes… yes. when you put yoour right middle finger on your right index finger while doing the “whatever w” you can say “whatever peanut”. that’s just something you might want to try sometime… okay. lolipops remind me of puking, i don’t know why. i hate the feeling of puking. it’s all hot and big… it’s like pooping hot crap out of your mouth with a headache. blegh! i know some ways to say puke: upchuck, throw up, puke, lose your lunch, dinner, ect., barf, blow chunks, hurl, hwarf, spew, jetteson, deport, expatriate, repatriate, resettle, exile, banish, transport, seclude, extrude, throw up, cast up, wash up, wash ashore, spit out, cough up, spew out, put out, push out, throw out, chuck out, fling out, bounce, propel kick out, boot out, give the bum’s rush, throw out on one’s ear, give the heave-ho, hustle out, drum out, eruption, eruptiveness, outbreak, egestion, regurgitation, disgorgement, vomiting, throwing up, nausea, vomit, barf, upchuck, eructation. so, that’s all i have to say. yes.