I knew someone named Justin at school, and someone who knew him made a screen name after him and IMd me, impersonating him.
JustinChi012: Lee Holloway does her best to compose herself as she readies for her job interview.
davepoobond: why the HELL are you iming me
davepoobond: you blocked me 3 years ago, let alone even talked for that long
JustinChi012: I want to send you a picture of my new girlfriend
davepoobond: how did you even remember this sn
JustinChi012: HA HA! THAT IS HUMOR, MY FRIEND! ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! GET IT? If only the super-intelligent Goth Poets could combine forces with the ultra-hilarious webcomic authors of the world! Then we’d have one easy, visible target to direct the orbiting laser cannons at. Oops, I just ended that last sentence with a preposition.
davepoobond: justin, yer freakin me out. you type too fast
JustinChi012: This is Sam Arnold.
davepoobond: how’d you get my sn
JustinChi012: Damn I still can’t send the pic
JustinChi012: I am Justin
davepoobond: i’m on aol…
davepoobond: ok, if yer justin, what classes are you taking
JustinChi012: AP English
JustinChi012: Pre Cal
JustinChi012: w8…y am i tellin yoo dish
davepoobond: trying to find out if yer justin
davepoobond: ok, i believe you in that. what grade did we meet
JustinChi012: Have you ever ate bar-b-que?
davepoobond: YOU LIE
davepoobond: 7th grade, dimwit
davepoobond: remember, 7th grade math
davepoobond: who was our teacher
davepoobond: just as i thought
davepoobond: unh hunh..
davepoobond: that’s a 50% chance
davepoobond: hold on gtg eat dinner
JustinChi012: Have you ever ate bar-b-que?
davepoobond: why are you asking me that
davepoobond: what i dont understand is why you’re IMing me at all
davepoobond: i thought you hated me..
davepoobond: and i dont see any reason behind why you would want me to see yer girlfriend
davepoobond: unless you wanted me to laugh at you
JustinChi012: because she’s purdy
JustinChi012: that too
JustinChi012: w8…no i dun
davepoobond: hmm….justin usually talked more asian…and didnt use contractions like w8
JustinChi012: fuq yoo
davepoobond: thatsa boy
davepoobond: lessee….what else can i ask you about
davepoobond: to make sure its you
davepoobond: ok, was i your friend in 7th and 8th grade
davepoobond: yes or no answer the question yes or no answer the question
JustinChi012: How do you feel about “All in the Family”?
davepoobond: good job, thats the right answer
davepoobond: y r u askin me these stupid questions
davepoobond: WAIT A SECOND
davepoobond: HOW THE HELL DID YOU EVEN GET A GIRLFRIEND
davepoobond: yer freakin JUSTIN for cryin out loud
JustinChi012: Do you enjoy the beach?
davepoobond: yes, on occasion
davepoobond: but i dont like it when the giant squids come out and eat your toes
davepoobond: and then the asteroids, and the mermaids….::shudder::
davepoobond: its an evil place that beach
davepoobond: but i like the calming waves
JustinChi012: I once went to the circus and there were lions and one of them took a dump and then the trainer came out and stepped in it and fell down
davepoobond: except when spears shoot out of them
davepoobond: ok then
davepoobond: so then, howsa bout tellin me why yer IMing me and how you remembered this sn
JustinChi012: Because I won the lottery
davepoobond: mmh…interesting aspect that is SINCE YER NOT EVEN GAMBLING AGE-LEGAL
davepoobond: and yer being a little too random for a justin
JustinChi012: ACTUALLY I DONT HAVE ANY GIRLFRIENDS THEY WONT COME OVER BECAUSE ONE TIME ONE OF THEM WENT TO SLEEP AND I PLACED MY PENIS IN THEIR EAR
davepoobond: you fuckin perv, yer not justin at all. shut the fuck up, i aint listenin to you anymore
davepoobond: yer pry one of his stupid friends though
davepoobond: or one of MY friends
JustinChi012: Like I said:I DONT HAVE ANY FRIENDS THEY WONT COME OVER BECAUSE ONE TIME ONE OF THEM WENT TO SLEEP AND I PLACED MY PENIS IN THEIR EAR
davepoobond: just like when i went over to your place justin?
davepoobond: we had a slumber party remember
davepoobond: you never placed yer penis in my ear
JustinChi012: No we didnt
JustinChi012: Juice Bar
davepoobond: hmm that reminds me
davepoobond: what did colin always call you a long time ago
JustinChi012: I found chocolate bubble gum
JustinChi012: Juice boy Bob
davepoobond: you are so off
davepoobond: you sure got shit for memory for an ap student
JustinChi012: That’s because Im high right now
JustinChi012: Shoe Tree