Category Archives: Chat Logs

These are Lame Chats and Stupid IMs

#10523: Phoenix -> davepoobond

Phoenix: Dude!!! I seriously need help!

davepoobond: wut

Phoenix: I have a question I cannot for the life of me figure out

davepoobond: what is it

Phoenix: Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

davepoobond: just in case they lived

Phoenix: And why do drive thru ATMs have brail keypads?

davepoobond: because its a law that all ATMs have them

Phoenix: BS

davepoobond: it is

davepoobond: why do you think elevators have brail code under the buttons

Phoenix: dude… it’s a drive thru ATM……

Phoenix: How the hell are blind people suppose to drive up?

davepoobond: they dont

davepoobond: someone else drives

davepoobond: and they pull up to the back window

davepoobond: there you go

Phoenix: ….. but the questions on the screen… .how do you read them?

davepoobond: someone has to drive you dont they

Phoenix: But if their staring at the screen why wouldn’t they just type it in for you?

davepoobond: because they’re not supposed to know your PIN number

Phoenix: ….but they can watch you type it in

davepoobond: that’s a risk you’ll have to take

Phoenix: I wonder about you….

Phoenix: now go put this convo on squakle, it amuses me

davepoobond: hehe

davepoobond: well, you can wait a couple years though

davepoobond: i’ve got about 200+ others to put up

Phoenix: Lol

It actually took like 4 years to get up.

#10521: stimpyismyname -> Holmes

stimpyismyname: could you do me a favor and find the sfx that plays when doug funni gets some from patty?

stimpyismyname: dudadudaleee waaaahhhhoooooweeeeeeeoooh

stimpyismyname: pleeeease

Holmes: what?

stimpyismyname: didnt you ever watch doug

stimpyismyname: on nickelodean

Holmes: yeah

stimpyismyname: you know when patty talks to doug that music plays

stimpyismyname: baaaooohwwahhhhoohh

stimpyismyname: ..do you know what im talking about?

Holmes: somehwta

Holmes: but thats gonna be a bitch to find

stimpyismyname: well you dont have to..

Holmes: can’t find it anywhere

stimpyismyname: o well

Holmes: what should i look for?

Holmes: doug funnie download music?

stimpyismyname: i dont know

stimpyismyname: i guess its not that important

stimpyismyname: heh

stimpyismyname: dougandpatty.wav

stimpyismyname: search for that

Holmes: why don’t you just watch doug and get a microphone out, then when he;s about to meet patty, turn your micrphone on and record it?

stimpyismyname: never!

Holmes: uh ok

Holmes: then tell dave to do it

stimpyismyname copied and pasted the whole IM to davepoobond while he was away, basically telling him to look for it.

#10520: blowthetoad -> davepoobond

This entry is part 6 of 8 in the series blowthetoad Wants to Be a Poop Troop

blowthetoad IMs davepoobond with the same screen name he’s been using the last few times.

blowthetoad: hi, i got a new screen name, can i try again?

davepoobond: thats the same one, idiot

blowthetoad: oh… i am sorry

blowthetoad: hold on

blowthetoad: i’ll be back

blowthetoad signed off at 7:57:15 PM.

#10518: stimpyismyname -> davepoobond

stimpyismyname: h

Auto response from davepoobond: i’m away, so that means i’m not here, which also means i might be here but i dont really want to talk to you which also brings up the fact that i am actually here and that means that i not actually away which means that i’m here, but not away, but i have my away message on which means i am away….

stimpyismyname: haaha… oh boy

stimpyismyname: that a GOOD one…

stimpyismyname: dave

stimpyismyname: hey dave

stimpyismyname: hey

stimpyismyname: you there

stimpyismyname: heeeeellllooooo

stimpyismyname: dave

stimpyismyname: hey

stimpyismyname: hey dave

An hour later…

stimpyismyname: hey dave are you back now

stimpyismyname: dave’

Another hour later…

davepoobond: god people on starcraft are so gay

stimpyismyname: you were playin that

stimpyismyname: hah

davepoobond: yeah well

#10517: davepoobond -> stimpyismyname

davepoobond: u wanna do somthin tomorrow

stimpyismyname: yeah

stimpyismyname: oook

stimpyismyname: like videot games

davepoobond: i dont know whatever

stimpyismyname: haha

davepoobond: or work on web sites

davepoobond: that’d be more productive wouldn’t it

stimpyismyname: ooooh

stimpyismyname: or we could study

davepoobond: i’m gonna be here all alone, so i have to take advantage of it

davepoobond: so i can stay on the whole time

davepoobond: yeah yeah

stimpyismyname: i could tutor your spanish

davepoobond: that’s a good idea

davepoobond: for free right

stimpyismyname: uhhhh…yeah…

davepoobond: we can spend our vacation away from school doing stuff FOR school

davepoobond: BRILLIANT

stimpyismyname: ill sell you spanish book. real cheap. you get no better deal

davepoobond: or maybe if you give it to me for free

davepoobond: and you wont have to pay for vagrant story or the pizza

stimpyismyname: oh yesah, i didnt pay you

#10516: davepoobond -> Edmonem

davepoobond: dude thats hilarious what you did today

Edmonem: wat

davepoobond: how you just ditched the final

Edmonem: haha wtf howd u no?

davepoobond: didn’t you ask him to go to the bathroom

Edmonem: oh yea ur in ma class

Edmonem: hahahahaha

Edmonem: yea

Edmonem: wat did he do?

Edmonem: was he pissed

davepoobond: he asked the xerox lady to get another test

davepoobond: for you

davepoobond: and he said that he would send you back down to get it when you come back from the bathroom

davepoobond: after an hour, they sent someone up to give it to him

Edmonem: hmm…

davepoobond: and he said “the person that was supposed to take the test never came back from the bathroom”

Edmonem: thats it?

davepoobond: yeah, pretty much

Edmonem: heh

davepoobond: but i think he’ll notice your test missing

Edmonem: huh?

davepoobond: y’know, cause you didnt take it

davepoobond: it wont be there

davepoobond: and when he’s recording grades

davepoobond: you’ll get a 0

Edmonem: ohh

Edmonem: watevers..even if i aced da final i wouldnt of gotten a B..tahs y i didtched

davepoobond: what were you gettin b4 the final

Edmonem: 28%

Edmonem: haha

davepoobond: lol

Edmonem: oh well

Edmonem: ay g2g..late

davepoobond: ok bye

#10514: blowthetoad -> davepoobond

This entry is part 5 of 8 in the series blowthetoad Wants to Be a Poop Troop

Later in the day, after #10513.

blowthetoad: can i try again?

davepoobond: no go away

blowthetoad: dammit fuck shit >:o

blowthetoad: is this dave?

blowthetoad: rumor has it his mom took away his mouse ball

davepoobond: no it isnt

blowthetoad: who is it

davepoobond: stop talkin to me i dont care about you

davepoobond: blowthetoad

blowthetoad: no this is stimpy or elmo

davepoobond: no its 9876543210

blowthetoad: ooooooooh

blowthetoad: now it’s all coming in clear

blowthetoad: sorry to disturb you

blowthetoad: what is dave’s AOL email

davepoobond: notachance@aol.com

blowthetoad: awesome

blowthetoad: tee hee heeeeee

blowthetoad: who updates squackle

davepoobond: yourmom@aol.com

blowthetoad: blowthetoad is just a fucking muffin

blowthetoad: i dont like him

davepoobond: that’s sweet

blowthetoad: no, it’s snour

blowthetoad: not sour

blowthetoad: snour

blowthetoad: who is the sexiest person alive?

blowthetoad: Nose

blowthetoad: who ihas the biggest penis?

blowthetoad: Stimpy

blowthetoad: who is the redest yellow-bellied anus?

blowthetoad: Elmo

davepoobond: your not making me laugh

blowthetoad: im not trying to

blowthetoad: im just…

blowthetoad: some canadian chef

davepoobond: stop being a dipshit, and maybe i’ll let you be a loser trooper

davepoobond: since you seem to have such a fetish about being a soldier

blowthetoad: i am a soldier… named preston,so it blows away the purpose

davepoobond: might as well be in the ranks of your own kind

davepoobond: i’ll let you be a loser trooper named blowyourmom

blowthetoad: yay

#10513: blowthetoad -> davepoobond

This entry is part 4 of 8 in the series blowthetoad Wants to Be a Poop Troop

blowthetoad was on a screen name he wasn’t usually on.

blowthetoad: i want to be a poop troop

davepoobond: who says there’s spaces open

blowthetoad: =-O

blowthetoad: kick out an un-active member

davepoobond: but your moms doing just fine

blowthetoad: exactly

blowthetoad: thats why i want your dad

blowthetoad: wait… no

davepoobond: good comeback, not

blowthetoad: dammit

blowthetoad: i would like to join the poop troops

blowthetoad: as “The Great Panda”

davepoobond: who says there’s spaces open

davepoobond: you really think that’s funny

blowthetoad: tell me funny

davepoobond: oh look at me i’m a great panda

blowthetoad: you have six seconds

blowthetoad: i never said i was a great panda

davepoobond: until what

davepoobond: you blow your load

blowthetoad: yes

blowthetoad: how is davepoobond funny?

davepoobond: cause your mom is

blowthetoad: or stimpy or elmo

blowthetoad: that makes me want to rip the eyes out of a baby seal with a rusty mellon scooper

davepoobond: har har

blowthetoad: you dumb canadian

davepoobond: the only way i’ll let you in is if you die and don’t IM me ever again

blowthetoad: ya!

davepoobond: sorry you IMd me again

davepoobond: you’ll never be a poop troop

davepoobond: sorry

davepoobond: you blew it

blowthetoad: damn

blowthetoad: bye

davepoobond: get a new sn and try again

blowthetoad: lol

blowthetoad: bye

#10512: chuke -> davepoobond

chuke changed his name on MSN to something really long.

think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: youfrom kville?

davepoobond: no..

think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: fag

think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: juist kidding

davepoobond: that was funny

think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: wasnt it tho?

think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: i aobut pooped my slef

think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: popschol

think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: poopschool

davepoobond: AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA FUNNY

davepoobond: not

davepoobond: just kidding

davepoobond: just kidding

think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: dave

davepoobond: see i was just kidding about the just kidding about the not funny thing

think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: my good man

think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: shit up

davepoobond: ok. who the hell are you

think of me what you will but ive got a little space to fill: chuke

davepoobond: and what do you want

#10510: stimpyismyname -> davepoobond

stimpyismyname: abcddddddddddddndndnddd

Auto response from davepoobond: i’m at my bass lesson

davepoobond: thats good

stimpyismyname: suck my dick

stimpyismyname: I got a fatty for you right here

davepoobond: …ook

stimpyismyname: in my trousers

stimpyismyname: thats Nose…

davepoobond: no shit

stimpyismyname: not

stimpyismyname: it’s actually my dick typing

davepoobond: wow you have the most talented shlong in the world

davepoobond: must be great to be on the receiving end

stimpyismyname: I have to squat to compensate for the shortness butn it does its job

stimpyismyname: andy helps a little too

stimpyismyname: ok thasts enough

davepoobond: aww