These can also double as “Your mom is so stupid that…” or “I knew a Blonde so stupid that…” or “You’re so dumb that…”
You’re so stupid…
…you sent me a fax with a stamp on it!
…you thought a quarter back was a refund!
…you tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order!
…you thought Boyz II Men was a day care center!
…you thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools! (not that many kids know who Eartha Kitt is, she’s a singer)
…you thought General Motors was in the Army!
…you thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats!
…you thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday!
…under “education” on job applications you put “Hooked on Phonics”!
…you tried to drown a fish!
…you tripped over the cordless phone!
…you stared at the orange juice carton because it said “concentrate”!
…you got stabbed in a shoot out!
…you asked me to meet you at the corner of “WALK” and “DON’T WALK”!
…they had to burn down the school to get you out of 3rd grade!
…on applications that say “Sign Here” you put “Libra!”
…at the bottom of the application where it says “sign here”… you put “Sagittarius.”
…you asked for a price check at the Dollar Store!
…it takes you 3 hours to watch “60 Minutes!”
…you studied for a blood test and failed!
…you tried to buy tokens to get on to “Soul Train!”
…when you saw under 17 not admitted at the movies you went out and got 16 friends!
…when you heard 90% of accidents happen at home you moved!
…you think Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company!
…you think Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
…when you missed the #44 bus you took the #22 bus twice instead!
…when the sign said Airport Left you turned around and went home!
…you climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side!
…you sold your car for gas money!
…you got trapped in a grocery store and starved to death.
…you sat on the TV and watched the couch.
…you called me to get my phone number.
…you put lipstick on your forehead because you wanted to make up your mind.
…if I gave you a penny for your thoughts, I’d get change back.
…they had to burn the school down to get you out of third grade.
…you took a ruler to bed to see how long you slept.
…if you spoke your mind, you’d probably be speechless.
…you got locked in a mattress store and slept on the floor.
…you jumped off a cliff to see if the wings on your maxi pads would make you fly!
…you locked yourself in a bathroom and pissed in your pants.
…you tried to kill a bird by throwing it off a cliff.
…you asked someone how to spell “TV.”
…you bought a solar-powered flashlight.
…you looked in the lake and saw a reflection of yourself, jumped in, and tried to save yourself from drowning.
…you grabbed a bowl when I said it was chilly outside.
…you left me a voicemail by screaming into my mailbox.
…you went to the beach to surf the internet.
…you stuck a phone up your ass to make a booty call.
…you went to get a ladder when you heard drinks were on the house.
…you went to the library to find Facebook.
…you went to the dentist to get your Bluetooth fixed.
…you sprayed a tree with Axe body spray and thought it would fall down.
…you tried to climb Mountain Dew.
…when you took a survey that asked you your sex you put in “M, F, and sometimes Wednesday”
…you bought tickets to Xbox Live.
…you went to Babies R Us and asked where the babies were.
…you fell up a flight of stairs.
…when your TV got stolen, you chased the robber shouting “You forgot the remote!”
…you made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
…you returned a doughnut because it had a hole in it.
…when you were in court, the Judge said “Order” and you said “Fries and a Coke, please.”
…it took you an hour to make one minute rice.
…you got fired from a blow job.
…you got hit by a cup and told the police you got mugged.
…you stood on a chair to raise your IQ.
…you had to ask what the number was for “9-1-1.”
…when you saw the “On Air” sign you said, “Let’s go down, I’m afraid of heights.”
…when a zombie said it wanted brains, it walked right past you.
…you went to a pipe company looking for YouTube.
…when people said you killed the vibe, you went to the police and said “Arrest me, I’m a murderer.”
Tags: alphabet, bathroom, blood, death, drown, Earth, education, flashlight, friend, gas, glass, grocery store, hooked on phonic, insults, money, movie, orange, orange juice, phone number, school
Tagged People: Boyz II Men, General Motors, The Peaman Thats Not a Man