Q: What did the salt say to the pepper?
A: “Season’s greetings!”
Tag Archives: salt
riudado
riudado – v. to put salt on train tracks
boscaque
boscaque – v. to eat unsalted cashews while watching a heinous felony
passbbi
passbbi – v. to eat unsalted cashews while listening to Rush
Joke #18681
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. “Careful…CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful…CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!”
The wife stared at him. “What the hell is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “I wanted to show you what it feels like to have you sitting next to me when I’m driving.”
Joke #18129
He’s so dumb all he could pass in school was the salt and pepper.
Quote #14679
“we’ll show Mr. Ghandi that it will take a lot more than a pinch of salt to bring down the British Empire”
– Ghandi (1982)
Quote #14678
“yes, he’s going to march to the sea and make salt”
– Ghandi (1982)
Joke #12031
A young couple were complaining about their child. It seems that he was very quiet. In fact, he never spoke at all. They didn’t mind this when he was a baby, but when he grew to be eight years old, he still hadn’t uttered a sound. Then all of a sudden at the dinner table one evening, he said, “Pass the salt.”
Shocked beyond belief, the father said, “How come in eight years you never spoke?”
The kid replied, “Well, up to now everything was all right.”
Joke #11422
Sister: Mom asked you to put salt in the salt shaker. Why didn’t you do it?
Brother: I tried, but I couldn’t get the salt through those tiny holes!