Bingo: Hello? Bingo’s Restaurant.
Ringo: Hello! Tell me, does your chef have pig’s feet?
Bingo: I can’t tell, sir. He’s got his shoes on!
Bingo: Hello? Bingo’s Restaurant.
Ringo: Hello! Tell me, does your chef have pig’s feet?
Bingo: I can’t tell, sir. He’s got his shoes on!
Q: On Mars what is pigskin used for mostly?
A: To hold pigs together.
Q: What is a pigskin for?
A: To hold a pig together.
Q: What do pigs do when they play basketball?
A: Hog the ball.
Q: What do you get if cross a karate expert with a pig?
A: A pork chop.
Sister: Mom just cleaned your room. She says you’re not fit to live with pigs.
Brother: Oh yeah? And what did you say?
Sister: I stuck up for you. I said you were.
Q: What is the main drawback to eating pig brains?
A: Afterward, you always feel like wallowing around in a mudhole.
pickled feet – n. a food delicacy that even a pig wouldn’t eat
Q: What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
A: Pork rinds.
Q: What do you call a dish featuring meat from pigs and people?
A: Pork and beings.
Q: What do pigs give on Valentine’s Day?
A: Valenswines!
Q: What does a pig write with?
A: An oink pen.
A homeless man stops at a farmhouse to beg to spend the night. The farmer answers the door and says, “Sure, we can put you up.”
The vagrant washes up for dinner and meets the family downstairs. Sitting at the dinner table are the farmer, his wife, their son, and a gigantic pig who is sitting at the table like a human. Throughout the meal the vagrant tries not to stare at the pig, who sports three medals around his neck, as well as a wooden leg.
Finally, he can contain his curiosity no longer. He asks “Would you mind telling me about the bronze medal around your pig’s neck?”
The farmer says “Sure. It’s really an incredible story. Little Timmy here was swimming in the lake when he got a cramp and started to drown. This pig heard his cries for help, busted out of his pen, ran to the lake, and saved our son’s life. So, we gave him the medal.”
The vagrant is amazed and says “Well, how about that silver medal?”
The farmer says “A few months ago our house caught fire in the middle of the night while we were all sleeping. This pig saw the flames, busted out of his pen and ran into the house, waking us up in time. To show our gratitude we gave him that silver medal.”
The homeless man says “While I’m at it, I might as well ask you about the gold medal.”
The farmer says “My wife was attacked by a burglar several weeks ago. This pig heard her cries, busted out of his pen, and chased that man far away. To show my thanks I gave him that gold medal”
The homeless man sits in awe of the pig, which is blithely eating his meal with a knife and fork. He asks “What about the wooden leg?”
The farmer says, matter-of-factly, “Well, you don’t eat a pig like THAT all at once!”
Q: What’s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A: A woman who won’t do what she’s told.
Q: What does a pig put on his cut?
A: Oinkment.