Tag Archives: Phoenix

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Prank IMs, Stupid IMs

#22511: Phoenix -> Hotkid05

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Phoenix: Hey

Phoenix: You into Yaoi?

Hotkid05: whos this

Phoenix: Adam

Phoenix: You know me.

Hotkid05: adam who

Phoenix: Don’t fuck around man, you KNOW who this is.

Hotkid05: im serious adam who

Phoenix: So whats up? We havn’t talked for a while.

Hotkid05: nm

Phoenix: How you been?

Hotkid05: where u from

Hotkid05: good u

Phoenix: Alright

Hotkid05: where do u live at

Phoenix: …

Phoenix: You still acting like you don’t know me bro?

Hotkid05: where

Phoenix: Fine, fuck you too.

Phoenix: We talked for months!

Hotkid05: im drunk as hell

Phoenix: Now I’m not your boy? Now you act like I’m nothing?

Phoenix: Go fuckyourself man, I don’t need you.

Hotkid05: im sorry

Phoenix: ….alright, alright.

Phoenix: But stop playin man,you know I don’t like that shit

Hotkid05: do u know my name??

Phoenix: No, we only talked online.

Hotkid05: r u straight??

Phoenix: The hell? You a moron or something? Can’t you remember anything?

Hotkid05: yea im sorry

Hotkid05: how r u

Phoenix: Fine, annoyed at you asking all this stupid shit though.

Hotkid05: my bad

Phoenix: It’s alright holmes, it’s fine.

Hotkid05: do u have a girl now

Phoenix: Hell ya boy, you know me. I can get em whenever I try.

Phoenix: Broke up with that other girl though, ya remember Faith?

Phoenix: Oh, of course you don’t, lol.

Hotkid05: yea

Phoenix: How bout you?

Hotkid05: no kidding

Hotkid05: no

Phoenix: Man, that sucks.

Hotkid05: i need 2 get laid

Phoenix: Heh, I hear that.

Phoenix: Course, it must be hard.

Hotkid05: why u say that

Phoenix: I mean you don’t remember shit, you act dumb all the time.

Hotkid05: thanx

Phoenix: Like this shit you were pulling with me.

Hotkid05: my bad man

Phoenix: If I was a girl I woulda called you a fag, man.

Phoenix: Course you are a fuckin fag.

Phoenix: I mean you act all quire and dainty.

Phoenix: Plus all that sick porn you look at?

Phoenix: That’s fucked up man.

Phoenix: I mean, all those links you were sending me…

Phoenix: “Big booty ass sucking” God, sick shit.

Phoenix: No wonder you pretend you don’t know me, I’d be embarrased too.

Phoenix: Course you were drunk but still…

Phoenix: You there, holmes?

Phoenix: Meh, you’re probably wanking it to some of that weird gay cartoon guy shit again, may you fucked up

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10960: Phoenix -> davepoobond

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Phoenix: I’m pretty sure I should be shot.

davepoobond: why do you think that

Phoenix: Or at the very least burned alive

Phoenix: I’m becoming addicted to neopets again

davepoobond: or maybe you should dig your own grave

davepoobond: and then be executed

davepoobond: and buried in the grave you dug yourself

Phoenix: Then bury myself.

davepoobond: you’d be dead before that

Phoenix: sure I would.You don’t know me very well.

Phoenix signed off at 8:03 PM

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10933: davepoobond -> Phoenix

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davepoobond: y’know what would be cool

davepoobond: Kazaam on DVD

Phoenix: lol

Phoenix: What about Steel?

davepoobond: Steel just sucks

Phoenix: But it was politically correct

davepoobond: Steel doesn’t come out of a freakin boombox

Phoenix: Girl in wheel chair loves big black man

davepoobond: same thing in Kazaam

davepoobond: half the white girls in the club loved him

davepoobond: oh well. I can’t wait till all the crappy movies reach it to DVD

davepoobond: 10 bucks a pop

davepoobond: with extra features you know you’ll love

Phoenix: Thats how I got Ghost Dog, way of the samurai

Phoenix: 6 bucks on dvd

davepoobond: they have TMNT 1 and 2

davepoobond: not sure about 3

Phoenix: TMNT’s are on DVD?

davepoobond: yep

Phoenix: I literally watched 1 and 2 three days ago

davepoobond: saw it at Target

Phoenix: Dancin’ ninjas are funny.

davepoobond: i want the cartoon series on DVD

Phoenix: “Quick throw a smoke bomb at them!”

davepoobond: the older one

Phoenix: “Success! Now we can’t see them! Wait….. no…. thats bad”

davepoobond: heh

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#10891: davepoobond -> Phoenix

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davepoobond: MY GOD! I’M SO BORED

Phoenix: www.neopets.com

Phoenix: Be dumb and play it

davepoobond: NOT THAT BORED

Phoenix: lol

Phoenix: You know you want to.

davepoobond: i know i dont want to

davepoobond: its stupid

davepoobond: i’d rather tan my white legs

Phoenix: Thats the disease talking.

davepoobond: which i’m doing now

davepoobond: 😉

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10886: davepoobond -> Phoenix

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This entry is part 1 of 4 in the series Can I Has Kidz Bop?

davepoobond: do you know where i can get all the Kidz Bop albums for free

Phoenix: I don’t know who or what kidz bop are/is

davepoobond: you’re missing out, my friend.

davepoobond: middle aged men and 50 children sing popular songs

davepoobond: and they put it all on 2 cds worth

Phoenix: lol

davepoobond: they made 5 of them so far

Phoenix: pedophile bananza, it sounds like

davepoobond: kidz bop, more kidz bop, kidz bop 2, kidz bop 3, kidz bop 4, and kiz bop christmas

davepoobond: and i must have them all!

Phoenix: You speak the truth, homeslice

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: Kid friendly versions of today’s hits recorded specifically for kids

davepoobond: so i’m guessing you don’t know where i can get them

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#10553: davepoobond -> Phoenix

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davepoobond: Welcome to the club, You Belong

davepoobond: where you can be who you want to be and do what you want to do

davepoobond: club K Swiss

Phoenix: club K Swiss?!?

davepoobond: of course!

davepoobond: a place where you can hang together, and stand apart

davepoobond: and do what you want to do, no limits

davepoobond: you belong.

davepoobond: =-O

davepoobond: it was on a book cover

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: all that i said

davepoobond: and the “of course!”

davepoobond: except that

Phoenix: weird…

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: damn polish company

davepoobond: ….or is it swiss

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10523: Phoenix -> davepoobond

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Phoenix: Dude!!! I seriously need help!

davepoobond: wut

Phoenix: I have a question I cannot for the life of me figure out

davepoobond: what is it

Phoenix: Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

davepoobond: just in case they lived

Phoenix: And why do drive thru ATMs have brail keypads?

davepoobond: because its a law that all ATMs have them

Phoenix: BS

davepoobond: it is

davepoobond: why do you think elevators have brail code under the buttons

Phoenix: dude… it’s a drive thru ATM……

Phoenix: How the hell are blind people suppose to drive up?

davepoobond: they dont

davepoobond: someone else drives

davepoobond: and they pull up to the back window

davepoobond: there you go

Phoenix: ….. but the questions on the screen… .how do you read them?

davepoobond: someone has to drive you dont they

Phoenix: But if their staring at the screen why wouldn’t they just type it in for you?

davepoobond: because they’re not supposed to know your PIN number

Phoenix: ….but they can watch you type it in

davepoobond: that’s a risk you’ll have to take

Phoenix: I wonder about you….

Phoenix: now go put this convo on squakle, it amuses me

davepoobond: hehe

davepoobond: well, you can wait a couple years though

davepoobond: i’ve got about 200+ others to put up

Phoenix: Lol

–

It actually took like 4 years to get up.

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10416: davepoobond -> Phoenix

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davepoobond: what is the longest word in the dictionary?

davepoobond: say you dont know so i can tell u the rest of the joke

Phoenix: antidisestablishimentaryinism

davepoobond: nope

Phoenix: acually it is…

davepoobond: smiles. Because there’s a mile between the two s’s

Phoenix: ….

Phoenix: accually that was the real longest word

davepoobond: it scares me how you remember that

Phoenix: Lol

Phoenix: I am God

Chat Logs, Stupid IMs

#10369: Phoenix -> RATM 1087

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Phoenix: I like shoes

RATM 1087: shoes don’t like you

Phoenix: they smell nice

Phoenix: their fluffy too, like bunny wabbits

Phoenix: are you fluffy?

RATM 1087: sometimes

RATM 1087: when i want to be

Phoenix: I don’t think so, only bunnies

RATM 1087: i can act bunny like

RATM 1087: what’s your name

Phoenix: Bunnies are cute too, their fluffy and nice and fluffy and nice and fluffy and nice and fluffy and nice and fluffy and nice and cheesy.

RATM 1087: hmm.. i don’t find bunnies to be cheesy

RATM 1087: only if i put cheese on them

RATM 1087: then they are most definitely cheesy

Phoenix: they like too eat hay, hay is their yummy nectar.

RATM 1087: yes

Phoenix: with hair, hair smells nice

RATM 1087: do you know me

Phoenix: I like hair, y’know?

RATM 1087: i see

Phoenix: It has good staying power in the winter

Phoenix: … in time

RATM 1087: yes i agree

RATM 1087: you’re a smart kid

Phoenix: Snow I don’t like

RATM 1087: snow can ocassionally be good

Phoenix: It’s ugly and has a attitudde problem, it’s all hey look at me, I’m white and fluffy and such

RATM 1087: yes

Phoenix: snow is the devils bitch

Phoenix: When it snows out I hide… with the bunnies… and dance

Phoenix: I like bunnies

RATM 1087: bunnies are white and fluffy

RATM 1087: but in a good way

Phoenix: I also like to mix things, like pudding

Phoenix: fizzy pudding, with shampoo

RATM 1087: yeah that’s good

RATM 1087: i like sewing

RATM 1087: i just got finished with some sewing

Phoenix: Head and shoulders shampoo

Phoenix: the fed ex man is taking too long…. its ruining my life

RATM 1087: i see

RATM 1087: what do you plan on having delivered

Phoenix: Like brichu, cause his hand takes so long

Phoenix: coming you tomorrow so

Phoenix: …cuz monkey will have to go with you because Gabe and brichu have Work

RATM 1087: do you know who i am

Phoenix: lemme see if I can get it

Phoenix: says it is not around

RATM 1087: you don’t know me

RATM 1087: i don’t know you

Phoenix: I know zoo

Phoenix: by the way

Phoenix: darlene took house #4

Phoenix: LoL

Phoenix: Lol

RATM 1087: i don’t know who you are

Phoenix: Oh lord, this will be scary. Howed she decorate?

Phoenix: Lovely furniture

Phoenix: LoL

Phoenix: She wants it to be pretty

Phoenix: Jeez…

Phoenix: damn, oh ell

RATM 1087: i don’t know you

Phoenix: Cards I guess ? I dunno ?

Phoenix: But tuesday, bring nothing

Phoenix: get here ASAP

RATM 1087: no

Phoenix: because

RATM 1087: no

RATM 1087: you do’nt know who i am

RATM 1087: you have the wrong person

Phoenix: Yup I made damn sure I was off for … day

RATM 1087: you don’t know me

RATM 1087: shut up

Phoenix: Lol

Phoenix: you know, God is coming to devour our souls this friday

Phoenix: at 8 o clock there will be god fireworks spectacular

RATM 1087: where do you live

RATM 1087: that’s interesting

Phoenix: then at 9 the feast of souls begins

RATM 1087: what school do you go to

Phoenix: Canada LoL

RATM 1087: how’d you get my screen name

Phoenix: Ontario tech is where I went too school

Phoenix: I got your sn cause I’m God

RATM 1087: i see

RATM 1087: did you search for my screen name

Phoenix: You defy me?

RATM 1087: no sir

Phoenix: I will strike you down with feet aplenty

Phoenix: lol

Phoenix: the berkel thirsts for your blood

RATM 1087: i go to a catholic school you offend me

Phoenix: the catholic school is really a tool of the devil

Phoenix: and it;s accually a cult

RATM 1087: you are correct sir

RATM 1087: i’m glad that you can see that as well as i

Phoenix: A happy Happy cult

Phoenix: yup!

Phoenix: do you have a god?

RATM 1087: yes

Phoenix: Have you recieved jesus christ as your personal savior?

RATM 1087: yes

RATM 1087: jesus loves us all

Phoenix: cause if not we can SEND you a piece of jesus via air mail for just 39.98

RATM 1087: haha canadian jesus

Phoenix: My savior is Damien Malachi!

RATM 1087: i see

Phoenix: Humans suck. Humans are the scourge of the earth and should be eraticated. KILL ALL THE SPIDERS TO SAVE THE BUTTERFLIES

RATM 1087: i like butterflies

Phoenix: Well you arn’t one, you spooney bitch.

Phoenix: Humans should do the world a favor and fry themselves, that way they make room for the more evolved creatures

RATM 1087: you’re a sick mother fucker

Phoenix: thank you!

Phoenix: then it turned into a red headed bitch fight

RATM 1087: well i’m leaving

RATM 1087: bywe

Phoenix: the many flames of the relm of damien malachi bless you heartily

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10309: davepoobond -> Phoenix

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davepoobond: i updated squackle whoopee

Phoenix: whee!

davepoobond: first time since 9/07

Phoenix: I stole a desk from school

Phoenix: and a window..

davepoobond: lol

Phoenix: and one of those things off the exit doors, you know those big bars that you press to open the door?

davepoobond: ya

Phoenix: one of those, had to pry it loose though, heh

Phoenix: so what did you update with?

davepoobond: uhh u pry have to refresh

Phoenix: Oh, I got my website but the space isn’t up yet.

davepoobond: oh

Phoenix: So soon I should have my comic up, and you shall have much linkage

davepoobond: cool

davepoobond: wanna be in the Squackle network?

Phoenix: O’course

davepoobond: k. then what you have to do is put a Link, above the fold, saying “This site is apart of the Squackle! Network” and link it to www.arcticnetwork.net/squackle/network.html

Phoenix: …fold?

davepoobond: so you dont have to scroll down

davepoobond: to see it

Phoenix: ahh, sure

davepoobond: whats the name of ur site

Phoenix: bad ink for now, may be changed.

davepoobond: description, and URL?

Phoenix: the site will be up in a few weeks probably, once my scanner is back home and my pc is wiped (on my laptop now)

davepoobond: k

Phoenix: Not sure yet, I have a few scripts in mind….

davepoobond: i’ll get it ready on the network page as much as i can at least

davepoobond: do you have a description of it?

davepoobond: or can u make one yet

Phoenix: Not really

davepoobond: alright

Phoenix: Just put “Chock fulla tuna”

davepoobond: want me to say “Phoenix’s website”

davepoobond: cuz ur known as that on squackle

Phoenix: Adam aka Phoenix

davepoobond: Adam (aka Phoenix’s)

Phoenix: cool

Phoenix: Hmm, I’m bleeding

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: y

Phoenix: I really hate those mystery cuts, y’know?

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: all of a sudden u notice it and u dont know from where

davepoobond: i got these like big scabs on my hand once and i dont even know where i got them from

Phoenix: It’s like “oh, hey I have what looks like I have a knife wound… oh well”

davepoobond: or on my arm

Phoenix: what looks like a knife wound*

Phoenix: forgive me, I’ve been eating pizza dough

davepoobond: heh

Phoenix: Picture this… count chocula, frankenberry AND booberry combining it to a mega-zord of tooth decay

davepoobond: heh

Quotes, Fan Mail/Hate Mail

What the Critics Say About Squackle

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“Ummm…….can we all say that’s a fucked up site??” – whitemagic

“I never squackled in public until I saw this site.” – BALTAUR SAMA

“Squackle just SQUACKS me up!” – D-Fiance

“Squackle made me piss myself, now i laugh wet” – D-Fiance

“o.o;; no” – Korinu

“Um, a collection of odd stuff?” – Para

“Squackle is God” – Vegichan

“Squackle is the place to go to find the cheapest chicken and turkey prices” – Valin Consulting

“Its…weird?” – Ko-chan

“Its a nice funny site with funny stuff there” – Jippii CEO the CEO of Jippii

“Heh…I dunno” – Bob

“This site has a very deep, profound point. No, I have no clue what it is either and if you know commit yourself. As for me, I submitted stuff to this site and am going to take a bath… I feel all dirty.” – Phoenix

“Every time I’m sitting on the pot and taking a dump I think of Squackle” – MyLeftTesticle

“I want to marry squackle!!!!” – The Peaman Thats Not a Man

“I like squackle… in spanish ducks go cua cua…I have mad cow disease…I like chinese.. WOW that rhymes!” – doughnut

“I love peas, well actually I dont, they are gross, and i also like unicorns and long walks on the beach, and um, also, mmmm.. animal sex.. I love squackle.. mooo” – The Peaman Thats Not a Man

“You are all evil … its great!! I love your site” – Stevo

“…Good….[not] bad…..kill [er]…person who made this site [rules]” – Sane Times

“hi my name’s ralph an i think your site sicks ass.  =D” – Poophead

“I’m not gonna waste my data for your stupid web site” – Add None

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6486: davepoobond -> Phoenix

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davepoobond: i’m gonna be leavin now

davepoobond: bye

Phoenix: NOOOO!

davepoobond: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttt

Phoenix: I LOVE YOU, DON’T LEAVE ME!

davepoobond: even more so the reason why i should!!!!

Phoenix: … YOUR RIGHT!

Phoenix: I LIKE caps lock!

davepoobond: ITS AN AMAZING THING AINT IT

davepoobond: lot better than doing SHIFT KEY

davepoobond: so bye

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#6485: Phoenix -> davepoobond

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Phoenix: Whee! Mail from richmond virginia!

davepoobond: heh ok

Phoenix: I don’t KNOW anyone from richmond

davepoobond: must be junk MAIL

Phoenix: they want to give me a credit card….

Phoenix: hmm… I’m bored I guess I wil

Phoenix: will*

davepoobond: lol

Phoenix: hmm… which one to get

davepoobond: get mastercard

davepoobond: its everywhere you own

Phoenix: nah, I’m sticking with visa

davepoobond: k

Phoenix: it makes pretty cards

davepoobond: ya true dat

davepoobond: i went into my sisters room, she didnt see me and she was reading something. so i screamed “boo!” and she got scared

Phoenix: … lol

davepoobond: “gawd david leave me ALONE”

Phoenix: …david?

davepoobond: yeah..

davepoobond: thats what my family calls me

davepoobond: no one else calls me david

Phoenix: I’m gonna call you Mike

davepoobond: ok