You know your marriage is on the rocks when your spouse uses your marriage certificate to swat flies.
Tag Archives: marriage
Joke #12368
BACHELOR: “Mr. Smith, I want permission to marry your daughter.”
FATHER: “Before I give you my answer, I have to know one thing. Do you drink?”
BACHELOR: “Thanks, but business before pleasure.”
Joke #12364
LADY: “Did your daughter take it to heart when her fiancé asked for the engagement ring back?”
FATHER: “No. She took it to court.”
Joke #12362
TILLIE: “Mary, are you still happily married to Tom?”
MARY: “No. Last year, a relationship that began with sentiment ended with a settlement.”
Joke #12356
My wife admits that she’s not perfect. She’s the first one to say she’s made mistakes in the past. That’s how she explains our marriage.
Joke #12289
Doctors have recently discovered that the major cause of headaches to men and women in the United States is marriage.
joke
joke – n. what some people tell and others marry
Joke #12075
PFC. MARY JONES: “You’re the last man I would marry.”
PVT. JOEY SMITH: “How many are ahead of me?”
Joke #12030
A wise man once said, “The only thing that can ruin a perfect match is marriage.”
Joke #12027
When my little girl got married, I didn’t lose a daughter, I gained a son. He moved in with us.
Joke #12026
I sincerely believe that trial marriages can be very dangerous. They can lead to the real thing.
Joke #12024
Last week my wife said one little word to me that ironed out all of the problems with our marriage. The word was: “Divorce.”
You Know Your Marriage Is on the Rocks If…
You Know Your Marriage Is on the Rocks If…
– You say to your mate, “I love you,” and you get a reply of, “So do I.”
– You don’t bother to wear your wedding band because it turns your finger green.
– Your husband celebrates your anniversary by going out with the boys.
– You’d rather play bridge with the girls than spend a quiet night at home with your husband.
– You go to the drive-in with your mate and spend two hours just watching the movie.
Joke #12014
Love does not go on forever. Neither does marriage. However, marriage usually goes on longer than love.
Joke #11697
Q: Why is a room filled with married Martians like an empty room?
A: There isn’t a single Martian in it.