Here’s a fancy Valentine’s Day card for you to print out.
Map To You
Tag Archives: holiday stuff
Peggy is a Whore
Raffi’s Christmas Album Cover
Ridiculous Spam Mail #21051
Hi there!
Have you ever shopped at a high-end department store where they have Personal Shoppers?
You give them all your details — your size, favorite colors, styles you like, etc. then you meet with them, and they present you with a whole bunch of choices, all tailored to your needs. No digging through the racks of clothing or searching the aisles for something you like.
Now, imagine leaning back in your chair and having a Personal Shopper do all of your Christmas shopping on the web — not a real person, however — an intelligent software program…wouldn’t that be cool?!
I just found a program that does just that! You tell your computer some things about your family and friends, like their interests and activities, then it searches through over one million major branded products and unique one-of-a-kind items to find the perfect present for each of them.
And… it’s FREE!”
It also reminds you of birthdays and important events. I checked some interest categories for my Dad, who is retired and it suggested over 40 gifts including some heated slippers, a waffle iron (he loves to cook), golf shoes, a casual coat, and leather wallet with room for pictures of the grandkids.
These were ALL great ideas!
I really love the idea pages, because they give you coupon codes for discounts and direct links to the items, plus a clever little desktop application that will display gift ideas for you. And I LOVE to shop with coupons!
I do about 90% of my holiday shopping online, and this has helped me a lot, especially with the hard-to-buy-for folks like my Hubby’s boss and his wife, lol! That one is always a stumper. I am not going to tell you what I got them though, because she is as much of an online shopper as I am, and may be reading this. 🙂
Remember, there is not much time left for Holiday Shopping, so you better GET BUSY! < grin >
class birthday
class birthday – n. the theory in which your group or class has a particular day that is a “birthday” of the group. It was discovered in davepoobond’s 7th Grade Math Book. It’s really fucking stupid, and has no relevance to anything.
The following is the quote from the 7th Grade Math Book:
“What is the ‘birthday’ of your class? To find out, find the number of days each student has been alive. Then average the number of days you have each lived. With this average, work backward to find the average date of birth for your class. Plan a celebration for the ‘class-birthday.'”
We Need More Holiday Songs
O Christmas Tree, Santa Baby, Here Comes Santa Claus, White Christmas, the list goes on. How many songs have we heard a million times? How many versions of the same songs must we choke down?
A horrendous onslaught of holiday music is upon us every time we get into the months of November and December, as Christmas, the month-long holiday is the time we love to be tortured by it.
Not only do we have to buy buy buy, but we have to listen to millionaire corporate slaves sing yet another version of that “Do You Know What I Know” song that takes forever to listen to. We’re already tossing hordes of cash out the windows into the pockets of companies in the RIAA — couldn’t they possibly hire some fuckers to write some new songs? Isn’t 300 versions of each Christmas song from each new generation of singers enough?
Oh goody, DJ Whatshisface made a remix of Joy to the World and DJ Megaloser made O Christmas Tree v. Santa Baby. Or let’s have Britney Spears sing the 12 Days of Christmas — that’s new and exciting!
What is even more annoying is that each time the song is remade, the singer adds their own little “flair” to it, so you would remember that in BigBoobedMovieStarNowASinger said “Yeayyeeyeahheeyaa!” at the end of each sentence in the song. It’s crap!
Sometimes bands make new Christmas songs, I’m sure, so why can’t we just stop dragging on those same fucking songs we have to listen to over and over? They’re so fucking old! Fuck them all! And where are the Thanksgiving songs?! I want to hear songs about how we screwed the Native Americans and killed turkeys!
The Celebration of Nothing
The Celebration of Nothing – n. an annual celebration that celebrates nothing. The concept of nothing is just that — nothing. There is no reason to really be celebrating, but you do anyway. This is the very basis of the Celebration of Nothing. To celebrate for the sake of celebrating. The Celebration of Nothing is a week-long event that occurs on the third week of July.
The Real Meaning Behind Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
sung to the original song of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
–
Do not trust minorities in your working environment,
sure they go about they’re own business for the time being,
but as soon as you turn your back they will take your job.
Rudolph was an obvious minority because he was the only one with a red nose and he took the
head job on the sleigh, he obviously took someone’s job.
And people said Christmas songs are good for the soul. Baah who needs em
National Gear-Yourself-Up-For-Another-Year Day
National Gear-Yourself-Up-For-Another-Year Day – n. a holiday that occurs on December 31st. Yes, this is New Year’s Eve, but that doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate another day along with the holiday that occurs on the day you’re celebrating your day on
National Hate-A-Toy Day
National Hate-A-Toy Day – n. a holiday that occurs on December 25th. Yes, this is Christmas, but that doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate another day along with the holiday that occurs on the day you’re celebrating your day on.
National Have-Two-Slow-Dances-In-One-Night Day
National Have-Two-Slow-Dances-In-One-Night Day – n. a holiday that occurs on December 15th. Only occurs when it is a Friday.
National Mother’s-Birthday Day
National Mother’s-Birthday Day – n. a holiday that occurs on December 10th
National Male-Friends’-Birthday Day
National Male-Friends’-Birthday Day – n. a holiday that occurs on December 2nd.
National Become-A-Vegetarian Day
National Become-A-Vegetarian Day – n. a holiday that occurs on November 25th
National Hope-You-Deejay-The-Dance-You-Want-To Day
National Hope-You-Deejay-The-Dance-You-Want-To Day – n. a holiday that occurs on November 7th