No one is more cautious than a first-time parent. After our daughter was big enough to ride on the back of my bicycle, I bought a special carrier with a seat belt and got her a little helmet.
The day of the first ride I put her in the seat, double-checked all the equipment, wheeled the bike to the end of the driveway, carefully looked both ways and, swinging my leg up over the crossbar, accidentally kicked her right in the chin.
BIRD: “Why are you wearing that helmet?”
OTHER BIRD: “I’m a coal mynah!”
“I LOVE YOUR MOM”
– On the back of a helmet
Once upon a time in space, there was a bear named David. David was a sad bear who didn’t have any bear friends. Since David was a hairless bear, except for his head, no one wanted to be his friend because he was different.
No one at David’s house cared for him either. His momma and poppa bear were always at the river catching fish. Whenever his parents came home, they only gave David the head of the fish since they hated the head part. David was always hungry as a result.
So, one day, David decided to take off his helmet and leave this sad universe. David said his last goodbyes and took off his helmet. Then his face blew up like a balloon and that was the end of David the lonely bear.
Moral: Shave your head if your whole body is hairless. Then maybe you will conform to the standards of the society and not be seen as an outcast, and have a crummy life to show for it.
Did you hear about the near-sighted turtle who fell in love with an army helmet?
Q: What man do astronauts always take their helmets off to?
A: Their barbers.
Martian (to a new crew member): “Why is it important not to lose your head during an attack on Earth?”
Saucer crew member: “Because then I wouldn’t have a place to put my space helmet.”
Q: Did you hear about the karate expert who joined the Army?
A: The first time he saluted, he cracked his helmet.